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Starting dr jay Gordon night weaning tonight - support wanted

(28 Posts)
megandraper Sat 27-Oct-12 23:14:02

Dd is 16 mths and still needs to be fed back to sleep several times a night. Next fri I have to stay away a night for work. Also this week half term so less worried about waking her brothers.

So - have picked my 7 hour slot as 10.45 to 5.45 between those hours I can feed her but have to stop before she falls asleep and then not feed her again until she has slept.

Clever girl woke at 10.41 s feeding her back to sleep for last time tonight. It is going to be a painful night. Really can't see her falling asleep without bf.

megandraper Sun 28-Oct-12 01:01:41

She is still not asleep. Cuddling her while she wriggles and intermittently cries. If I fed her she wd. Be asleep in seconds

confuddledDOTcom Sun 28-Oct-12 01:18:16

Remember, it's not about leaving her alone, you're going to be right with her all the way. It's hard at first but just keep telling yourself you're there, she's safe and she's not a newborn, you're not starving her.

megandraper Sun 28-Oct-12 01:54:32

Thank u confuddled I need the reassurance - she jus won't fall asleep - really shoutingg at me now. Really wish she wd let Herself go

differentnameforthis Sun 28-Oct-12 01:53:57

So she uses bf as a comforter to get to sleep? Have you replaced the comfort she gets from that, i.e dummy?

Babies get great comfort from sucking, and bfing at night at this age isn't just about food but also (probably more so) comfort.

megandraper Sun 28-Oct-12 08:58:10

Different - I think u r r right that it is about comfort not food. She falls asleep easily in the car or the pram so it's not only. F that's the trigger. Bf has been less effective in the night lately - it can take ages for her to go back.

I am reluctAnt to introduce a dummy after never having one but I do see your point and will bear it in mind. Will see how the. Next few nights go first.

She finally settled down and fell asleep lying over my tu
My at about 2am and slept for three and a half hours. Am Just putting her down for her usual morning nap which might be a long one today.

Am hoping to igbt will be easier for her

differentnameforthis Sun 28-Oct-12 11:07:42

It may get easier in time, I can understand why you wouldn't want to introduce a dummy without trying for at least a while without.

Good Luck!

confuddledDOTcom Sun 28-Oct-12 11:31:49

16 months is a bit old to be introducing a dummy really. Keep with it, it doesn't take long once they get the idea that you want them to go to sleep but you're not leaving them.

megandraper Sun 28-Oct-12 15:50:06

Thank you all - it does help having some positive feedback!

megandraper Mon 29-Oct-12 07:45:58

Update - woohoo! MUCH better second night. She woke up about 9pm and I fed her back to sleep (outside the core 7 hour period). Then she woke up at 1am, I fed her till she was nearly asleep but not completely, laid her down on the bed next to me. She cried for about 20 seconds, rolled over and went to sleep.

After that she woke up every hour, but just whimpered a couple of times, I put my hand on her back/tummy and she went back to sleep.

Unfortunately DS1 (5) came piling in at 4.30am (damn that clock change) and woke us both up for the day.

But enormously heartening. Really hope it's another good night tonight. According to Dr Jay G., this is the last night that I feed her at all within those core hours - after that, it's only patting and cuddling etc.

differentnameforthis Mon 29-Oct-12 09:48:56


differentnameforthis Mon 29-Oct-12 09:50:02

I agree re late to introduce a dummy, but I was concerned that op was taking away comfort & food & that it might prove too much. But it looks like last night was good!

megandraper Mon 29-Oct-12 12:24:46

I was worried too, different.

Fingers crossed for tonight. Could go either way, but I am (cautiously) hopeful.

confuddledDOTcom Tue 30-Oct-12 00:40:54

But it's not taking away comfort because you're constantly there reassuring them and it only takes a matter of days normally - it's designed for family bed families, although we used it to get #2 in a cot because she is not and was not a bed sharer! She was throwing herself on the floor from NB because she moved so much and no one would ever sleep because of it.

It sounds like you've cracked it grin be ready for a few backwards slides but sounds like she knows what you want from her now so she should start sleeping through

megandraper Tue 30-Oct-12 07:49:56

I'm sleeping on a mattress on the floor of her room - have been doing that for a couple of months (before that she was in our bed). She starts off in her cot, then comes on to the mattress with me when she wakes up. The idea is when she starts sleeping through, she just won't wake up and I can go back to my own bed! (that's what the DSs both did, though didn't need to use Dr Jay for that).

Tonight will be the first night with no milk between 10.30 and 5.30, so we'll see how that goes. Hopefully all should be well for Friday night when i am away and it's DH on the mattress on the floor (he'll like that, it's only about 5.5 feet long...)

confuddledDOTcom Tue 30-Oct-12 15:46:36

That's how we did it with my eldest, put her in her cot when she fell asleep, picked her up when she woke and kept her with us. Eventually she spent the night in her own bed, but she was and still is good as a bedsharer. Next time we didn't have a bed sharer, and the third time I couldn't because of my PGP so put up with bad sleep for the first 12 months to keep her in her own bed, I had to nightwean for my sanity and health!

megandraper Thu 01-Nov-12 21:18:09

Went backwards a bit last night. Supposed to be no milk at all, but I gave in because she was clearly teething and suffering. Her cheek is still rather red today so wondering if it will be the same again. Managed to stop her falling asleep on the breast though, and she did roll over and go back to sleep, so that's something.

anniebunny Thu 01-Nov-12 21:25:35

Just wanted to add a word of encouragement- I used this method with my twins when they were 17 months and feeding to sleep every 2 hrs (alternately!) and within a week they were pretty much sleeping through the night. Stick with it!

Good luck- disturbed nights are awful.

confuddledDOTcom Fri 02-Nov-12 00:27:40

Don't worry if you have to go back a bit, Dr Jay isn't like the others he admits that sometimes you go backwards. Not that it matters what "experts" think but knowing you're following a method that tells you it's OK to not get it right all the time helps sometimes.

megandraper Fri 02-Nov-12 19:50:49

Well I am away t

megandraper Fri 02-Nov-12 19:52:45

Well I am away tonight and dh just called to say he had all three of them off to sleep by seven. So Perhaps will all go smoothly for him!

confuddledDOTcom Fri 02-Nov-12 21:01:22

Sounds about right, they tend to know when Mum's about!

TitaniaP Fri 02-Nov-12 23:09:46

DS also 16 months. Think we really need to try this as I'm exhausted!

megandraper Sat 03-Nov-12 06:59:11

I know what u mean Titania - had my first 8 hour sleep since before she was born and feel like a different person.

Only trouble is now I am engorged / leaking! Didn't think of that. And I have to go and teach an all day class to a bunch of strangers. Aargh.

Saffra Tue 06-Nov-12 11:09:23

How have things been? Ok, I hope!

I'm considering buying the Dr Jay book for my co sleeping 13 month old DD. Happy to co sleep (for now) but don't enjoy the night wakings or need to be latched on for half the night. Would you recommend?

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