Feeling a bit down about it all...

[Impatientwino]

Sorry this is probably going to be long.

DS is 12 weeks and EBF. He is a big boy - 9.8lb at birth and has put on weight really well since then - up in 91st  centile, in the early weeks was gaining a pound a week and now weighs in at a rather whopping 15.3lb! 

He feeds as you can imagine like a demon, at least every 2 hours, sometimes every hour in the day and I am exhausted.

He is a happy content baby and an ok sleeper and goes down by around 8.30/9pm if we're lucky until around midnight but then still wakes in the night for a feed every 2/2.5 hours ish and by the time I've got him back into bed I'm only getting about an hours sleep at a time - we do have the odd random night where he will sleep in longer spells but I could count them on one hand.

He has had an awful cold the last week so has been up every hour some nights so tiredness probably doesn't help how I feel at the moment.

I'm happy in myself and loving being a mum, going to nct meets, swimming lessons etc and enjoying being at home having pj days with my baby way hung tv and constantly eating but am finding the feeding is starting to get me down at times.

what doesn't help is that my boobs are absolutely gigantic and unbelievably heavy  - 38JJ at present and lugging them and a 15lb baby around is starting to take its toll on my back. My knees are killing me too. 

I guess I feel guilty and selfish for feeling this way because feeding has been so easy for us - I was terrified before having had so many friends who have struggled with bf and DS feeds efficiently, gently and usually with minimal fuss so I know how lucky I am but am so uncomfortable :(

At the last feed before bed now DS has started screaming, really fussing, coming on and off, gulping loads of air to the point where he is inconsolable and DH has to take him off me to calm him down 

He has been checked for TT and all fine and i know I have a fast let down but he seems to guzzle it down no problem most of the time.

Family and a few well meaning friends are now suggesting giving one bottle of formula at night to help him sleep longer but for MY benefit and I'm so tired and uncomfortable I can't think straight about it and have been close to it a few times and for whatever reason feel disappointed about this. I have friends/family that ff so I didn't think I would feel judgemental about it at all but I'm hesitant about giving him a bottle so maybe I am after all? Who knows?

I have expressed and myself/DH have given him 80/100ml in a bottle at night but it doesn't make him go any longer or make him any happier at that feed. 

I am so proud of the fact he is ebf as it has been such hard work feeding round the clock and I feel bad for feeling selfish when I should be doing all I can for my baby.

Could my milk supply be too low by the time the evening comes so he is grouchy because he can't get enough milk? 

Has he got into the habit of snacking overnight rather than taking a whole feed so that's why he wakes so frequently?

I just feel so uncomfortable with these giant boobs and could do with a vent really I guess and any advice on giant boobs or going longer at night- apologies for the pity party

God if you read all that you definitely deserve some

[SarryB]

I don't really have any advice for you, but didn't want you to go unanswered!

My LO also gets mad in the evening as I really don't have enough milk by then, which is why for the last 3 months (he is 6 months) he's been getting a bottle of formula instead. I did used to express for this feed, but found that a bottle of EBM actually made him really windy and he'd wake at 4am trying to fart!

He may be in the habit of snacking at night. My new rule is for my LO, feed any time during the day (7am-7pm) then at night I will only feed between 10pm-12am and 3am-5am. Obviously he seems madly hungry, then I will feed him, but he'll usually settle with a cuddle and a dummy instead. This helps his windy tummy, and helps him to sleep better.

[Impatientwino]

Thanks for your reply SarryB - i guess at night if he cries and it's been over 2 hours I just stick a boob in his mouth but a cuddle and a dummy sounds like it might be worth a try to see if he is actually hungry.

He falls asleep on the boob at night but does mostly take himself off I offer a 2nd but he's usually passed out! I never know whether to wake him or not?

It's weird you say that about EBM in a bottle - I find my DS is often woken in the early hours farting and wonder if he wasn't so windy whether he would wake for food.

[Rockchick1984]

Regarding the enormous boobs, around 3 months I found that I never got the "full boob" feeling any more, so that may happen soon for you which should help with the discomfort. Don't make the mistake I did, thinking that my supply was too low - I've since learned that it's normal and that your breasts have just figured out how much milk to make and when. Are your boobs significantly bigger than pre pregnancy? Are you carrying much extra weight? These things will obviously make a difference to the size issue :)

[Impatientwino]

Rockchick - thanks, yes boobs much bigger than pre-pregnancy, I was a 36F/G. With regards to weight I am back to pre-pregnancy weight despite eating loads of cake! My boobs are feeling less full which was starting to make me question my supply so that's good to hear.

Whimsy - thank you for your kind words, congratulations on ebf to 6 months well done you! I haven't ever put a stop date in my head - like you I'm just taking each day at a time and that makes me feel better about it I think.

I will definitely have a read of the site you mention thank you.

I had wondered if a cold/growth spurt was influencing the spike in night feeding! I hope so! 4 feeds again last night! Zzzzzz!!!

[MigGril]

sounds like your doing really well. his feeds sound with the normal spectrum to, this is regardless of his size even smaller breastfed babies can feed this frequently.

The fussiness in the evening can be totally normal to. sometimes mums feel like they have less milk in the evenings, this is normal to. often there is less volume of milk un the evenings but the fat content of this milk is higher so they are getting just as many calories. your breast are never empty, this of them more a bath with the tap left running. when you leave the plug in it fills up, when you pull the plug the bath empties but the tap that's on still keeps flowing so never completely empties.

A very useful website for breastfeeding and well worth a read is kellymom.com.

if you've got a big bust I'd recommend you have another bra fitting and find some supportive bras. it'll help with your back. bravissimo are very good for fitting if you've got one close to you. plus carrying your baby in a sling (a proper starchy wrap) which helps distribute the weight properly over your hips and back will help. oh and I'd it still hurts see of you can go see a physio, pregnancy can cause ongoing back problems so it's worth having it checked out properly.

[Impatientwino]

Thanks Mig, that's really interesting to think of the milk flow that way.

I have a Kari me sling and I will start using it more - I'm a bit scared of it if I'm honest! I know it will be simple when I get the hang of it but the last few times I tried him in it he sunk down to my tummy as i didn't tie it tight enough and I looked still pregnant! He did fall asleep though which is a miracle in itself!

I have got some Royce nursing bras from bravissimo but I think I could do with a proper fitting to double check the size

Thanks for taking the time to reply

[Rockchick1984]

Tie the Kari Me so that it's tight to you, then pop him in - it should then be perfect for you both. There's also loads of YouTube videos that are helpful (type stretchy wrap sling into search bar on it). My sling was a lifesaver when DS was a baby, and I still use slings frequently for him now at 19 months :)