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Mums who switched BF to FF ,opinion please.

(28 Posts)
SpikeHairandFab Thu 18-Oct-12 20:13:38

Hello, I need some advice
My DD is 5 weeks today,and EBF,but very very unsettled baby. She's sleeps o.k in night,feeding every 3-4 hours,but days are hell. She been checked by paediatrician,and he said she is absolutely fine,and I have to put up with her screaming. She's been also seen 3 times by cranial osteopath,but it didn't work,I think.
I am at the end of my tether with her,I don't know what else I can do,so I thought maybe I should give up BF and FF feed her instead?maybe then she'll become happy baby? Any advice ,please?

ElphabaTheGreen Thu 18-Oct-12 20:17:08

She could be exactly the same and then you'll lose all of the benefits of breastfeeding. What makes you think changing her diet would make a difference? It could just as easily be the brand of washing powder you use! smile

stargirl1701 Thu 18-Oct-12 20:20:01

Hi. My LO is 6 weeks. I gave up BF for FF after being hospitalised for infective mastitis that led to sepsis. It has made no difference to how long she sleeps at all.

She is sick far more often and struggles far more with wind. Her skin is very spotty. She smells different. It is a total faff with bottles - especially in the night. We are having to add Colief to the bottles to help her digest the Aptamil. It costs £12 on top of £10 for formula.

I still feel I made the correct decision to FF as I wasn't coping with anything that was happening to me in the hospital. I still feel very sad that my bf journey ended so quickly. I have toyed with restarting but am absolutely terrified of the same thing happening again.

AnyaKnowIt Thu 18-Oct-12 20:20:26

ff does not guarantee a happy baby.

Could it be colic?

hildebrandisgettinghappier Thu 18-Oct-12 20:20:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EauRouge Thu 18-Oct-12 20:22:49

Have you seen a breastfeeding counsellor or spoken to one? You shouldn't have to put up with screaming, it could be that something isn't right but can be righted- paediatricians don't have to have any specialist breastfeeding training so it's a bit hit and miss whether you get one that can help with breastfeeding challenges.

Try phoning LLL or NCT and see if there's anyone nearby that can support you, there's no reason to think that switching to formula will help.

When does she scream usually?

DinosaurSchool Thu 18-Oct-12 20:22:57

Ah poor you, that sounds tough. It is so hard when you can't settle them. I know it doesn't feel like it but it WILL get better.

Re: feeding - have you ever given formula? Was she more settled? Have you given expressed milk in a bottle? Do you think she's hungry and that's the issue?

How is your support? Do you get a break at all? Sorry for lots of questions.

The wisest thing I ever heard re: parenting? This too shall pass. Never more true than regarding a newborn.

annekins Thu 18-Oct-12 20:24:04

I agree with Elphaba, changing to FF will not necessarily make any difference and then you open up a whole new world of pain with figuring out how you want to handle FF feeds during the night.

Could you try making small changes during the day, such as her routine, what you do and see if that has any effect? Seeing how she sleeps ok at night, there must be something in the day that is contributing to her being unsettled? Are you able to get in touch with a breastfeeding counsellor to get your latch etc checked...Just try to eliminate everything you can before you make a big decision like changing how you feed.

Loobylou222 Thu 18-Oct-12 20:32:51

U said she has seen a paediatrician, but are u sure she isn't tongue tied as it took 2 paediatricians and a bf councellor to decide weather my dd was or not, it turned out she wasn't but Might be worth asking for a second opinion.

I stopped bf at 4 months as dd wasn't gaining weight, I tried absolutely everything before I made the decision, my situation was probably different to yours but at the end of the day, you know your baby and if you think ff is what's best then try it.

Hope it all works out for you smile

MolotovBomb Thu 18-Oct-12 20:36:36

I EBF both my DDs for about 4 weeks. With DD1, it was to do with reflux and she was much more settled with 'easy digest' formula.

I felt guilty for not BF for longer; I think this is because I blamed myself for her reflux and felt that I should have persued BF for longer than I did. There were other issues - I'd had a difficult labour and sustained damage to my perineum and tailbone which made getting comfortable to feed was challenging. It was a relief to switch to formula, but I always felt a twinge of guilt.

DD2 was born in April this year and I had a wonderful ELCS. I EBF her for approximately the same period of time and the experience for her was different to DD1, in that she happily took my milk.

Different story for me, though. Perhaps because I'd had an easier birth experience, I noticed the impact that BF was having on my body. My boobs were huge - uncomfortably so. So big and heavy thatthey pulled me forward an I was kind of hunched over. My nipples we'd sore and cracked, eventhough her latch was good. The letdown reflex was painful for me for about 30 seconds every time. I had to distract DD1 when I was feeding DD2, which I didn't like. Nightdress were more tiring this time.

Anyway, I got a blocked milk duct sometime near te beginning of week 5 and DD wouldn't take milk from my breast because it was
hard. I had-expressed and used a pump but DD wouldn't take it.

I literally cried when pumping these pathetic quantities of milk that were causing me quite a lot of pain. DH just said 'let's give her a bit of formula', and I was so relieved. She took the formula sweet as a nut. Since FF her, I've enjoyed feeding. There's no less love in it; I take care and loving prepare her bottles. My DD1 can help, DH gets to feed her. It's lovely and it suits us.

Obviously, this has to be your decision. Your baby won't get antibodies passed through your breast milk if you EFF. That's the only difference, really. Your baby will, though, get nourishment either-way and because the molecular structure of formula is larger than human breast milk, babies yes to feel fuller and rest for 3-4 hours between feeds.

Maybe you could try mixed feeding while you see how you both get on? That way, you're not going to stop producing milk and can build up your supply again if you decide to continue BF.

MolotovBomb Thu 18-Oct-12 20:41:42

Not nightdress, but night feeds stupid autocorrect

DinosaurSchool Thu 18-Oct-12 20:45:34

Molotov that was a great post (the first not the second wink).

fuckadoodlepoopoo Thu 18-Oct-12 21:02:33

Mine screamed a lot and we didn't find out for years that it was a dairy intolerance. I was expressing breast milk and my baby vomited that and i tried formula and they vomited that. I didn't know what was going on! Of course i was consuming dairy and they were getting it through my milk and through the formula.

Its so hard to know what's going on, especially when drs don't take you seriously.

I expressed for a few months and then switched to formula with my first as they couldn't feed from me. My second could until my boobs turned into rocks as i think i had way, way, way too much milk and they couldn't latch any more. They only had breast milk for a week and then little bits for the next couple of weeks.

I felt and still do incredibly guilty that i couldn't give much to my second baby but i couldn't express they way i did with my first because it was so time consuming and i had an toddler to look after too. It just wasn't possible.

So much guilt!

On top of that my breast were in horrendous agony all the time and would get engorged within minutes of feeding or expressing. It hurt so much and nothing relieved it. They were constantly covered in lumps that made me cry to touch and it hurt to cuddle my babies or to move from sitting up to laying down.

Sorry Im going off on a bit of a tangent!

I hope you figure out what's going on but if you do have to stop try not to beat yourself up like i have.

MolotovBomb Thu 18-Oct-12 21:15:56

Oh, guilt when moving to EBF to EFF is just awful. You hear from pretty much all HCPs that BF is the only way

Other considerations are not taken into account, though. The pitfalls of EBF are largely ignored. We have the luxury in industrialised/developed countries that feeding our babies from a bottle is not hazardous because we have good standards of hygiene. FF is not going to turn your baby into a fat, wheezy, asthmatic bonehead!

I think that Mothers who want to BF should be supported. Likewise, women who want to FF should be supported. It's all about choice: each feeding method has it's pros and cons.

But if you do choose to FF, it's okay. You're not going to hurt your baby by doing it. You just need to be sure that you want to do it because once your milk goes, it is very difficult to rekindle the supply.

MolotovBomb Thu 18-Oct-12 21:17:46

And I forgot to thank Dinosaur smile

SirBoobAlot Thu 18-Oct-12 21:21:56

I think before you decide to do that, you should eliminate any other reasons for her upset. Mainly because it won't necessarily make difference at all.

How is her weight gain? Have you tried a sling?

There's a high needs baby support thread somewhere on here, maybe you will find some ladies who know what you're going through on there.

Asmywhimsytakesme Thu 18-Oct-12 21:22:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SpikeHairandFab Thu 18-Oct-12 21:42:33

Thank you all for replies,I will contact Bf counsellor tomorrow,maybe this will help.

She is my 3 DC, I haven't BF my first born,and I felt guilty for years (he's 12 yo now), I BF my second DC for 11 months,and it was great,she was the calmest baby in the world.

She's putting weight beatifully, I know all the pros of BF,but I hear so many stories about amazing calm FF babies,so I thought maybe I should try,but I don't really want to TBH.

I tried a sling but she didn't seem to liked, it was the Baba sling,so maybe I should try different type?

She never seems happy,even after the feed she will wriggle and start screaming again very soon, I can calm her sometimes when I carry her,but it is rarely ,and I have to change her position very often from being upright to "tiger in the tree",then to over my shoulder,you get a picture.

I am feed up with her screaming,I know it sounds horrible but I am soooo tired,it is all so sad.

Asmywhimsytakesme Thu 18-Oct-12 21:50:08

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SoftSheen Thu 18-Oct-12 21:54:12

OP, I have no experience of FF, but I just wanted to say that as a newborn my DD hated the baba sling but became much happier once I started carrying her in an upright position using a babybjorn carrier or Close baby carrier.

Also, I remember reading that crying typically reaches its peak at about 5-6 weeks (when there is a lot of neurological development happening) and then starts to improve. This was certainly the case with my baby, and I hope things improve soon for you too.

SirBoobAlot Thu 18-Oct-12 22:02:18

I know how exhausted you must be. And I know that when you have a screaming baby, its very easy to try and put it down to something that you feel you can change.

Definitely get to see a breastfeeding counselor, call your health visitor in the morning to find out details of groups and people you can visit. Worth getting your latch checked, and also getting her checked for TT.

A lot of cities also have sling libraries, so you can try and few out.

TBH if she's putting on weight and is sleeping well at night, then I really don't think switching to formula is going to make much difference, though I'm sorry as I know you want to hear that that will sort things for you sad

Big un-MN hugs coming your way.

Asmywhimsytakesme Thu 18-Oct-12 22:06:31

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fraktion Thu 18-Oct-12 22:19:54

Could it be silent reflux? The crying/changing position/generally unsettled and screamy shortly after a feed rings a bell for me - turned out DS had horrific reflux that meant he was basically happy when feeding because he was swallowing acid down but the rest if the time it was coming back up.

Reflux doesn't have to be non stop vom and it doesn't have to mean a baby doesn't put on weight. In fact silent refluxers often feed more so gain really well.

SirBoobAlot Sat 20-Oct-12 12:12:41

How are you doing OP?

GingerDoodle Sat 20-Oct-12 12:36:29

I don't have the experience a lot of mums on here have - my dd is just over 3 weeks old.

However I started topping her up with formula before she was a week old as she was unsettled, not gaining weight and had not poo'd for 4 days. I have now decided to mix feed as although she breastfeeds well she does not seem satisfied on breast alone and is now putting weight on and poo's more regularly!

I got the talk on how mix feeding would diminish my supply and felt a bit blue afterwards but my attitude is that mixed feeding works for her and us.

For info – I feed her from both breasts until she comes off then offer milk.

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