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Help with newborn please

(20 Posts)
TurquoiseGoldandOrangecat Tue 02-Oct-12 23:31:59

I've been advised to post in here for some advice from chat - I'll paste my original below:

Bit of background - I had pfb dd five days ago, it was a difficult labour ending with an episiotomy. Dd did not feed very well, or really at all, for the first day and a half. She then started to feed quite well on the right, and with the help of a nipple shield (flat nipple) is now feeding on the left as well. 

She had her five day midwife check today, and she's lost 9.6% birth weight, which is now an issue due to the changed acceptable percentage rate from 10 to 8%. So now I have to try to feed her every 2/3 hours on both breasts for at least 1/2 hour (on one breast, and then swap to the other) as this is what the midwife says she needs. But she won't feed more than every 3/4 hours, on one breast for 10/15 minutes and I don't know how to increase this. And my boobs arent getting hard between feeds so i don't know if I'm producing enough milk for her. DH is also upset because he can see me getting stressed and is also worried about our DD.

I did feel like we were doing okay and getting into a bit of a routine - she was feeding about every four hours for about 20 mins until she came off the boob herself, and now I feel like I've been doing it all wrong. I've been trying to wake her every 2/3 hours today, but sometimes she won't feed and will just go back to sleep for hours.

Shes being weighed again in thursday, and I'm just scared that she won't have put on enough weight, and the midwives will think I've not done well enough for my dd. Please could someone just reassure me that I'm not doing too badly, and that it's just the midwife freaking me out and changing my perfectly acceptable routines for no good reason, as I'm feeling a bit fragile and unsure?

Follow up info from chat thread, she is having plenty of wet nappies and seems fine in herself when awake, so signs of illness.

Sossiges Tue 02-Oct-12 23:51:39

I saw your thread on Chat and stalked you over here smile, I think you are doing very well, you sound very capable and newborns are just little bundles of stress and worry (it gets better).
From my experience, I would say maybe she needs to be woken more often. My DD was very sleepy (slept for 4/5 hour spells during the day and night) and developed breast milk jaundice after a few days because she wasn't getting enough milk. MW never mentioned waking her/feeding more often though and I didn't know any better (pfb). The latch wasn't too good either for the first 5/6 days, which didn't help. The jaundice started going by itself at about 3 weeks, so not a big problem, I guess I'm just trying to point out that newborns can be too sleepy for their own good.

Sossiges Tue 02-Oct-12 23:57:20

I wouldn't worry about hardness of boobs, it's not an indicator of quantity of milk AFAIK, I think you'll have enough milk as long as you keep feeding her.

Sossiges Wed 03-Oct-12 00:03:54

You shouldn't feel as if you've been doing it all wrong at all, babies don't come with a manual, they're all different and you can only do what you think is best. As you can tell, I'm trying to keep your spirits up until someone who knows what they are talking about comes along to give you some proper advice grin (where are you all??)

Asmywhimsytakesme Wed 03-Oct-12 00:11:11

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DuelingFanjo Wed 03-Oct-12 00:24:20

I think youe midwife is right and you need to feed more frequently than every 4 hours, more like every 2 -3 hours. Can you strip the baby down to wake her up when trying to feed her and has someone checked te latch is ok.

I really would recommend getting a breastfeeding person in, through the nct or ask your midwife if there is someone who can come.

i had a very similar situation and decided to write down every time my DS fed to make sure I was feeding him every coupe of hours. we spent a lot of time in bed naked and getting skin contact which helped. try not to stress and ask your dh to bring you lots of snacks and drinks.

Asmywhimsytakesme Wed 03-Oct-12 00:26:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

blossombath Wed 03-Oct-12 00:31:29

Congratulations on your DD!

Am not an expert but wanted to add reassurance that hard/soft boobs is not indicator of quantity or quality of milk - my MIL never had the hard boobs thing and successfully bf two children for yonks.

And I agree that you sound like you are doing brilliantly. The first days are such a journey of trial and error, and you have been following your little ones lead which is really the best place to start. It sounds like she might be a bit too sleepy for her own good, so you're trying to adapt things to help, and like all good mothers, you are worrying endlessly about the right thing to do!

On the feeding timings etc, please don't worry too much about getting into routines (and especially not four hour routines) at five days. I might be rushing to conclusions but it does sound a bit like you want things to settle into that magic four hour routine quickly, but at five days your baby is so tiny that it is probably a bit long for her to go regularly between feeds. At that age four hours was the maximum my DS would go, mostly there was a much shorter time between feeds. It's great that LO is doing wees and seems well, but it is still worth trying to ensure she gets enough sucking done, as much to help build your supply as anything else.

I don't have much advice on waking a sleepy baby, though I think that switching sides a bit more often might actually help a bit since the baby will get a fresh, quick stream of milk which might wake them up enough to take in more nourishment, if that makes sense?

Hopefully someone will be along soon with proper advice on how to make a sleepy baby feed...

Asmywhimsytakesme Wed 03-Oct-12 00:31:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

blossombath Wed 03-Oct-12 00:32:58

Oh, cross post with Whimsy, lots of good ideas!

Asmywhimsytakesme Wed 03-Oct-12 00:34:42

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Asmywhimsytakesme Wed 03-Oct-12 00:35:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

blossombath Wed 03-Oct-12 00:35:58

Another cross post with whimsy and I agree you'll be back in a few months advising others! I was also going to suggest finding some RL support from non midwife group. Midwives are great but sometimes their advice is variable and I found it useful to get support from a number of places in the early days.

Good luck x

blossombath Wed 03-Oct-12 00:42:02

Oh one last thing - though it does seem like you need to increase feed frequency the fact that your DD is getting wet nappies etc is a good sign that she is getting sustenance and nutrition from you already. It can be stressful for you, and your DH, to think that she isn't eating enough but please try to have confidence in your body's ability to feed her. It really is a case of supply and demand so the more you can encourage her to feed the more milk you will make and, eventually, you'll settle into a lovely feeding routine that works for both of you.

geologygirl Wed 03-Oct-12 00:49:38

Hi there - congratulations & please dont worry, you are doing a fab job Im sure!

I had some difficulties when my little one was a newborn. I never felt like I was producing enough and he would get really angry because it wasnt coming out fast enough! But to be honest its still early days and the more you feed the more you will produce. Just stick with it and you will fall into a routine naturally. I found doing a bit of breast pumping in between feeds helped get my milk levels up and I used to keep it aside for the later evening feeds, when your milk levels tend to be at their lowest.

Just keep going & it will be fine. Good luck.

monkeypuzzeltree Wed 03-Oct-12 08:30:17

As someone with the flattest nipples ever I offer you two tips. First get breast shells, you wear them in your bra and they help keep it popped out and ready! Or Nipplet by absent to pull out between feeds. Shields make it harder IMO.
Congrats and good luck.

monkeypuzzeltree Wed 03-Oct-12 08:30:41

By avent!

TurquoiseGoldandOrangecat Thu 04-Oct-12 10:37:54

Hi all, just wanted to give an update. I took the excellent advice from here and spent yesterday in bed doing skin to skin and lots and lots of feeds. DD has been feeding well, not for a long time each go, but very often. I also now don't need to use the nipple shield, as my leftie has popped out!

The midwife has just been and weighed, and dd has managed to put on 3 oz in less than two days, so the demon feeding did its job! grin

Anyway, I just wanted to pop back and say thank you for all the advice and hand-holding, it really was very appreciated smile

Asmywhimsytakesme Thu 04-Oct-12 11:00:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DuelingFanjo Thu 04-Oct-12 11:45:08

yay smile

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