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Is it bad that I'm secretly pleased...

(63 Posts)
SetFiretotheRain Thu 27-Sep-12 22:11:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GetToFalkirk Thu 27-Sep-12 22:20:40

yes, it is bad and wrong.

Finallygotaroundtoit Thu 27-Sep-12 22:27:29

Not at all wrong - you should be proud of yourself.

DD is simply showing her preference. Instead of struggling with a bottle suggest that DP gives her a cup - she won't come to any harm in 4 hours.

usualsuspect3 Thu 27-Sep-12 22:29:12

How strange.

usualsuspect3 Thu 27-Sep-12 22:29:41

I feel sorry for you DP.

SummerSolstice Thu 27-Sep-12 22:34:56

I had to leave my EBF three month old for the morning with my partner, after expressing all weekend I was relieved but a tad offended at how easily he took the bottle. I can see what you mean!

ReallyTired Thu 27-Sep-12 22:38:52

Your DH might have more sucess with a cup or maybe he can syringe or spoon the milk into her.

youonlysingwhenyourewinning Thu 27-Sep-12 22:39:21

I can understand your relief at her not refusing you but I think it's mean to enjoy her giving a daddy a hard time.

I bet it doesnt make your dd or your dh feel secretly pleased.

AThingInYourLife Thu 27-Sep-12 22:40:32

I suspect a lot of women feel some validation if their baby refuses to take a bottle, which is why bottle refusing is so common.

It seems weird to me to be happy that your baby is unhappy and that your DH is struggling to feed her.

Are you really so insecure?

IME babies (after the first couple of weeks when getting BF established) always prefer the infinitely nicer, comforting breast to the more functional bottle, but will happily feed from a bottle if that's what's going.

beancurd Thu 27-Sep-12 22:41:43

Course it isn't wrong, she will take it from a cup if she needs it but may well prefer to wait for you. My dh is still entertained at the ability my dd showed at hurling the bottle at the wall as an expression of her bottle refusal. Maybe you will have the mixed blessing of a little miss iron will toosmile

FunnysInLaJardin Thu 27-Sep-12 22:45:06

you sound smug to me. How lucky you are that your baby only wants you hmm. Your poor DH must be having an awful time trying to feed her but knowing he can't

SavoyCabbage Thu 27-Sep-12 22:45:42

I don't get not wanting to share your baby with her own father who you are married to!

I love the fact my dd loves my dh so much and when she was born I watched him fall in love with her at the end of the bed. It was the best moment of my life. When she woke in the night he was there to her before my eye opened.

whatinthewhatnow Thu 27-Sep-12 22:46:55

nah, don't feel bad. I kinda liked it too, OP. Mine both refused bottles and just waited till I got home. I fed them until the second I left home and again the second I got back. They weren't distressed (unless anyone tried to bottle feed them) just hungry when I finally got back, which was fine because by the time I was home I had knockers like barrage ballloons so we sorted each other out and everyone got on with their day.

FunnysInLaJardin Thu 27-Sep-12 22:47:07

ps this thread is one of the reasons that I dislike BF. How to make your DH feel like a spare part because the mother BF is far more important than any other relationship doncha know

exoticfruits Thu 27-Sep-12 22:50:23

It sounds like insecurity and a wish to be 'superior' parent.

DevaDiva Thu 27-Sep-12 22:50:31

I bf'd my 2 DC but expressed from about 1 week so DH could bottle feed when needed. I loved that he could share in that, after all it was still my milk they were having and it meant that when DCs were a bit older we could leave them with friends/family to have a night out without worrying about then being hungry.

beancurd Thu 27-Sep-12 22:52:16

It's the baby expressing her preference, it's not a time frame that presents any 'need' for milk.

No reason dh and baby won't be fine together, no need for dh to feel less bonded. There are loads of dads who do love without doing feeds.

AThingInYourLife Thu 27-Sep-12 22:56:12

Well if there's no reason for DH to feel less bonded, then there's no reason for the OP to feel happy that the baby is upset and refusing to take a bottle.

beancurd Thu 27-Sep-12 23:00:08

The baby will take ebm but slowly. Op was worried that the baby would reject the breast and prefer a bottle. The op is happy this hasn't happened and has no need to change the way she has been feeding to accommodate a few short separations in the week.

The op was not last seen whooping in delight as her baby bawled.

LadyWidmerpool Thu 27-Sep-12 23:04:33

AThing - are you suggesting bottle refusers do it because they can sense their mums want them to? I can assure you my baby is not that accommodating.

Funnys - you dislike BFing in its entirety?

AThingInYourLife Thu 27-Sep-12 23:06:57

She was last seen smirking smugly that her baby was refusing bottles for her husband.

Why would a baby reject a lovely, warm, comforting breast just because they can also be fed by a bottle?

There is no reason to be happy or relieved that the baby's father is having to drip feed the baby.

Drip feeding is a load of bollocks. It's stupid enough with a newborn, never mind a 5 month old.

There is nothing to be feared from giving a breastfed baby the occasional bottle and it doesn't make you a better mother with better boobs if your baby won't take bottles.

It just makes life more difficult for other people who care for the baby and the baby herself.

AThingInYourLife Thu 27-Sep-12 23:08:59

I'm suggesting that bottle refusing is surprisingly common in babies whose mothers prefer that they not be bottle fed.

I've never heard of anyone drip feeding a baby formula for months on end.

Xmasbaby11 Thu 27-Sep-12 23:13:40

Um a bit weird if you want your baby to be fed.

EauRouge Thu 27-Sep-12 23:36:15

OP, are you having a tough time being separated from your DD? Maybe it's not that you are pleased that your DH is having a trouble giving DD a bottle but rather relief that you are not the only one finding it difficult. I'm assuming you've gone back to work?

It can be hard being separated from your baby when you don't want to be, especially when our culture seems to see it as no big deal. Is there anyone you can chat to about it, DH or a friend?

MigGril Fri 28-Sep-12 06:33:49

Both of mine where bottle refuses. 4 hours is not that long for a 5 month old feed her before you go leave a cup of expressed milk and your DH and her will have a nice time while you are gone.

Just because a partner doesn't feed the baby doesn't mean they don't love them and bond with them. DH had lots of lovely snugly cuddles with both our babies when little. He didn't need a bottle to do it.
no where does op say that she's happy that baby is giving her oh a hard time. just that she is happy baby is refusing a bottle. I was kind of pleased about this to as well.

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