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Lone parent, bfeeding, dad access

(21 Posts)
Pickles77 Mon 24-Sep-12 21:29:49

I have an 11 day old, and I'm a single parent. My DD and I are going away at the weekend to see her DF.
He's really good with her, and so we are going to do her bedtime routine together, I shall feed her (I know a bit young for routine it's more wind down time)'and am going to try to express what I can during the previous few days so that I can go to dinner for the evening with friends.
My problem is dd is a very hungry baby, so I am panicking already about not leaving enough milk for her. I have non problems leaving her with her daddy, he's really good with her. I will be back that evening but he will have her in his room in her Moses, and get
Me if he runs out of milk. But I am worried if I can't express enough, I want to keep bfing but don't want to mess up my supply as she feeds so well and lost no birth weight at all:
Would leaving some formula be a wise idea, just in case?

TheSurgeonsMate Mon 24-Sep-12 22:41:07


Personally, if I was able to express anything at all, I wouldn't leave formula. I'd rather plan to be out for a short time or plan to come back if needed.

I'd say that that's based more on my own feelings about how to play the mental game in establishing breastfeeding, not on any proper understanding of how supply and demand works.

KatAndKit Tue 25-Sep-12 08:27:22

I personally would postpone your going out plans for a few weeks. 11 day old babies do feed all the time. You might be able to express enough to have a couple of hours off but missing more than one feed would make you very engorged and uncomfortable anyway.

ChunkyPickle Tue 25-Sep-12 08:33:21

The second problem could be that she won't take the bottle - we tried DS on one once and he just didn't have a clue what to do.

I know that my parents once had to leave me when a baby, and the grand parents ended up spooning the milk in (I was also a bottle refuser)

I also wouldn't bet on them taking formula - especially with everything else already being so different.

TBH, I don't think you'll manage dinner out at 11 days, on an EBF baby. Is there a time when they'd more reliably stay asleep/happy for 2 or 3 hours? Afternoon would have been a better bet with DS, but evenings would just never have worked because all he wanted was to grizzle and feed all evening.

NarcolepsyQueen Tue 25-Sep-12 08:48:30

Pickles - your boobs will get very very sore and hard and leaky if you miss a feed. The problem isn't just your little one - it is you too! The last thing you want is mastitis! Have you tried her with a bottle at all? I think the recommendation is to wait until 6 weeks before introducing one to avoid nipple confusion?

Pickles77 Tue 25-Sep-12 09:01:48

She's had a small bottle and didn't mind, only one mind. Didn't want daddy missing out.
Right... I think she can come to dinner with me smile

SarryB Tue 25-Sep-12 09:07:40

I would express as much as possible (freeze some too, giving Dad instructions on how to de-frost it), and also leave a small carton of formula to be used "only if absolutely necessary!".

I really don't think either you or Dad should miss out! You should be able to go to dinner, and Dad should be able to spend an evening with his little girl. How long are you planning on being out for?

Pilchardnpoppy Tue 25-Sep-12 09:11:07

All newborns are 'hungry'. It is natures way of making them feed little and often as it is all their tiny tummies can take. If she guzzles a bottle, it may not be because she is starving, more that they are easy to suck from, and babies have a strong sucking instinct. You may also find that she cluster feeds in the evenings, just feeding and dozing, feeding and dozing. In my experience a few weeks old is too early for a night out. Can your friends come to see you?

jkklpu Tue 25-Sep-12 09:13:55

Yes, great idea to take her with you. As she's still so new, you don't necessarily want to have the stress of trying to express milk in the run-up and, as others say, you'll end up very uncomfortable if you miss a feed. If your baby's df is as great as you say, he'll understand that her best interests are to keep going as usual to help you establish bf effectively. Good luck.

Pilchardnpoppy Tue 25-Sep-12 09:14:25

SarryB - if she leaves formula there is the chance the dad might use it, meaning that the baby will be full and sleep for ages. Ideally when OP comes home, the baby should be due a feed so OP can feed her straight away to help prevent engorgement. If OP is out from, say 7-10pm, and the dad feeds baby just before 10, it maybe another 4 house before the baby needs feeding, meaning that OP would have gone 7 hours without her breasts being emptied.

Pickles77 Tue 25-Sep-12 09:14:56

She's normally really good, takes bigger feeds now rather than cluster feeds. That's what I was planning to do, start expressing now etc,
I know that her dad feels like I watch his every move but I'd be fully confident that he would be okay and appreciate the bonding time.
I'd be around a hour smile

AThingInYourLife Tue 25-Sep-12 09:17:37

Don't leave formula, just be close by and ready to come back if needed.

AThingInYourLife Tue 25-Sep-12 09:21:05

If you'll only be gone an hour and you feed her to sleep and leave some ebm there should't be any problem.

Express in the morning if you want to build up a supply of milk for bottle feeding.

MistressIggi Tue 25-Sep-12 09:24:05

You're only going to be an hour? Are you going to Macdonalds? grin
Ime it is easiest to a) go out minus baby in the morning or afternoon or b) take very-portable baby with you.
If you want to ebf then it would be odd to leave formula. There is a health case for not mixing feed (obvioulsy some people have to; but we're just talking about a night out here).
As for the df missing out - an evening with a teeny tiny baby screaming for its mummy's boobs would not be much fun!

Pickles77 Tue 25-Sep-12 09:27:54

Very true, well DF lives close to the centre of town. I think sod the formula, and express in case plus be on standby. Thanks for everyones advice

NarcolepsyQueen Tue 25-Sep-12 09:31:19

An hour?! Are you speed eating?! Realistically, you are bound to be way longer than an hour I would have thought. My last 2 babies really started to become eating machines after 2 weeks - they were really easy for the first 2!

MistressIggi Tue 25-Sep-12 09:33:14

It is easiest to express in the morning (in case you didn't know). Have fun!

Pickles77 Tue 25-Sep-12 09:33:55

Thanks guys

SarryB Tue 25-Sep-12 09:36:13

I misread the post - I thought it said 11 weeks! That's why I suggested formula.

If you're only going to be an hour or two, I wouldn't worry at all. Just express, express, express before hand and make sure you have breast-pads in your bra!

Pilchardnpoppy Tue 25-Sep-12 09:36:31

Some babies refuse bottles, even after previously taken one, so the baby's dad might find it useful to find out about other ways of getting milk into a baby, such as cup, syringe or spoon feeding.

Hope you have a lovely night out.

BettyStogs Tue 25-Sep-12 11:32:39

Can you take your breast pump with you and nip to the loo to quickly express so you don't get too engorged when you're out?

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