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WWYD.... leave a 19m old for 3 nights for a hen weekend

(16 Posts)
nannyl Sat 22-Sep-12 20:34:41

DD is 12m old and still BFing; 3 feeds a day but i think it will soon only be 2.

I intend to let her self wean, and i do NOT want to force breastfeeding to stop before she is at least 2 years old

SIL has just announced her hen weekend, in centre parcs, 2 hours drive away for when DD will be 19m old (I dont think it has crossed anyones minds that I even might be BFing a child that old, but i fully intend to be wink)

Also.... I am really really really hoping to be pg by then. (planning to get pg in December, like last time, which happened immediately, and i know i might not get pg on the first month of trying, but hopefully by April i will be)

My last pregnancy was an HG pregnancy, and i was horrendously ill from 5 weeks, right until giving birth, but those first 5 - 18 weeks were horrendous battling de-hydration / hospital for IV fluids, and im pretty sure if its the same again, i wont manage to BF through it sad but will cross that bridge when i get there.

SIL needs to book this pretty soon.... am i mad to even consider going?

Do i want to go? Yes, I really want to go, it will be great fun
BUT i do not want to stop BFing DD in order to go

Could i not feed 19m DD for 3 nights / 4 days and continue BFing? or is it likely to be the end? Im guessing my supply will be as well established as possible, unless im pg?

I need to to give an answer soonish, and as there are only 6 of us including bride to be its not like i can be an add on later.

Oh and she feeds to sleep at bed time (but not any other time), doesnt take a bottle, (but does drink cow milk from a cup), and the one time I left her for the day / evening ( age 10m; child free wedding) she hysterically cried herself to sleep sad for my Mum, and would not even try her cup of milk.... she wanted me

changeforthebetter Sat 22-Sep-12 20:43:14

Am v pro bf but honestly she will be fine. If you get pregnant she may self wean anyway. I think (said kindly) you need to calm down a wee bit! I would relish the break but you may need to pump to relieve fullness.

MigGril Sun 23-Sep-12 06:42:17

Well you could have a break of a few days at that age then go back to feeding when you get home. But a number of things to consider would be, will your baby settle with someone else with out much distress while you aren't there.

And the morning sickness, if you had very bad morning sickness (it does have a special name but can't spell it). then it normally gets worse with the no of pregnancies not better. My friend end up in hospital several times with her seconded even though she'd been given the anti-sickness meds really early on. That you mite not be well enough to go, don't know if you could get travel insurances though to cover that one.

HollyMadison Sun 23-Sep-12 06:51:27

3 nights is a long hen weekend. Could u go for 2? And take your breast pump to keep your supply up. It's still some time away. You could have the person who will be putting her to bed come over and do some evenings with you and put her to bed without you a few times.

If it were me I'd RSVP yes (although consider fewer nights) and if you're not up for it at the time for whatever reason you could pull out of some or all and do seething else nice with the bride to be. It would be silly to say no at this stage for reasons that may not be there at the time.

Congrats for still BF-ing!

lyndie Sun 23-Sep-12 07:04:06

Not quite the same but I took DH and my then 4 month old to a hen weekend. We stayed in separate accommodation and DH looked after DS while I did hen stuff and texted me to come back when she needed feeding! It was a lovely weekend!

Sparkles23 Sun 23-Sep-12 07:16:45

I think you should go, a good chance she will have self weaned by then and if not could you not express in advance enough to cover the wend and pump and dump while there if necessary. I went on my sisters hen wend when DS was only 6 weeks old (though only went for the 1 night as he was so little) and that was my plan, a lot of people when I was preg said I was mad to consider it (esp as first) and tbh I wouldn't have done it if it had been anyone else but ways round everything and think you should go and have well deserved wend away. If you happen to be preg and have bad sickness you can always cancel nearer the time.

MoaningMingeWhingesAgain Sun 23-Sep-12 07:27:13

DH regularly took DS away for 2-3 nights at that age and the BF wasn't affected at all. I have no experience of tandem nursing though, but your supply will be very well established so I would have been happy to go if I fancied a whole hen weekend which TBH would be my kind of hell!

cluelessnchaos Sun 23-Sep-12 07:34:01

Ds is 21 months and is still having 3 feeds a day, I've been away three times in the last year and each time its gotten easier for dh. Engorgement hasn't been an issue at all, and a few weeks before the first time I introduced a cup and story at bedtime along with a boob, just to give something for dh to do before putting him to bed. By that age they get that mum is not in the house. The other thing you could do is put her down to sleep before she's properly asleep and Shoosh her to sleep the rest of the way.

Nigglenaggle Sun 23-Sep-12 08:18:47

I think book it and surely if you cant go for the whole lot you will be able to get away for one night?

ZuleikaD Sun 23-Sep-12 08:29:50

I think say yes, and just be prepared to pay-but-not-go if it becomes clear at the time that it's not possible.

nannyl Sun 23-Sep-12 09:21:38


i thought i would get mostly, "no dont be so selfish" replies.... but it seems i should try and go! smile

fab! its centre parcs, so i guess maybe we could get OH and DD there too, that hadnt even crossed my mind and is worth considering.

i could come back early too i suppose, if it were a disaster!

ZuleikaD Sun 23-Sep-12 09:32:58

Well, your LO will be 19 months, not 19 days, and at that age they can understand if you're going to be away for a bit and that you'll come back.

midori1999 Sun 23-Sep-12 09:36:03

My DD is 15 months old and still feeding about a million at least 6 times a day... I would go away for two nights, but maybe not three at 18 months and I wouldn't worry about leaving her (she does feed to sleep but I know she can get to sleep with cuddles from my Mum or DH) except that she may decide to self wean and for me, it wouldn't be worth that risk.

designerbaby Sun 23-Sep-12 09:54:56

OP, I think you have to remember that your LO will be seven months older by then. It's hard to imagine, but at 12months she's still a baby, at 19months she'll be very much a toddler...

I was in your situation a year ago. I had the chance to go on a trip away (work jolly) for three nights. Having not had a night away from children in nearly 4 years, I wanted to go but DD2 was still very much BFing when I signed up (when she was 14months or so) and only drinking a wee bit from a cup.

By the time it came around, she was 19 months and only really BFing at bedtime, and not a great volume, and could drink well from a cup. I went away, as planned, she didn't really mind the lack of BF, happily took a cup for Daddy, cried a little bit for mummy, but we skyped, and then she was fine.

It did mark the end of BFing, but it was winding up of its own accord by then anyway. I could have continued after, but I don't think she was taking much as I didn't have to pump while away, and as we had this natural break it seemed like a good time. She wasn't fussed.
She had a couple of sucks afterwards, got nowt and evidently saw no reason to bother any more.

In short, it's a long time away, her eating/drinking will have changed vastly, she'll be bigger and better able to understand. At that point even if she had no milk for 3 days, she'll be fine.

I went, had a wonderful rest, lots of fun, and was delighted to come home to the children at the end!


Oh, and at this point you can't make plans for a pregnancy that doesn't exist yet... You may be PG, you may not. You may be really sick, you may not. If you end up being too poorly to go, you'll have to cancel and everyone will understand. But you can't plan around a hypothetical.

And breathe a bit.

I sympathise though, I really do. I think I may have written this EXACT post 18 months ago, and she wasn't even my PFB! grin


nannyl Sun 23-Sep-12 13:41:44

thank you all so much for your comments

Have decided that i will say yes and go for it....

can start introducing a cup with cow milk and BM at bed time nearer the time. (that had never even entered my head before, not sure why, its so blindingly obvious)

IF im pg and its HG then i will just not go and everyone will understand
and if its real disaster I can come back early and the world wont end!

Im sure it will do OH good to have a whole weekend looking after his DD (and i will get an opposite weekend with her all to myself when he is on the stag weekend, so fairs fair!)

Nigglenaggle Sun 23-Sep-12 19:28:21

Hurrah! Hope you enjoy it smile

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