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Help. About to give up and racked with guilt

(12 Posts)
Biggem Thu 20-Oct-11 13:40:51

ive been feeding my 5 month old DD exclusively from the boob, this forum has helped me so much I can't be thankful enough!
BUT
I am shattered, every part of me literally aches, I have never been so ill (colds etc) since I was preggers! I know it takes 2 years to recover fully but I'm just exhausted every night I just pass out @ 9pm to tired to express to allow my DH to do a night feed. She slept through (12 hrs) from 6 weeks but the last month she has been waking 12pm, 1.30, 3pm and i just can't cope anymore. I feel like a failure. I just burst into tears looking at formula in tesco

I don't know what to do, and to top it off I'm back to work in Jan and those 9'weeks seem incredibly short

Sargesaweyes Thu 20-Oct-11 14:13:06

I think 5 months is brilliant. Massive pat on the back. Whatever you decide to do you are certainly no failure. I don't really have any advice apart from I gave up at 6 weeks and refused to beat myself up and my baby and I are much happier now i'm not struggling with the breastfeeding.

HeadlessLamAAARRRGHHHH Thu 20-Oct-11 14:17:56

Wow, 5 months! That's brilliant. You have nothing to feel guilty about OP. If it's making you ill then change to formula. You are not a failure. You're a mum at the end of her tether. smile

Trillian42 Thu 20-Oct-11 14:20:57

Don't feel bad! But don't give up entirely right away anyway. Start introducing one bottle and get your OH to do the first night feed while you sleep and gradually increase if you want. Just bear in mind that it might take a while to get a BF baby to take a bottle!

RitaMorgan Thu 20-Oct-11 14:59:35

It doesn't have to be either/or - why not just do a formula night feed? You'll be introducing solids soon, and it's better for babies to be breastfed alongside trying new foods.

If you're feeling so run down though, go and see your doctor. You might be anaemic or something.

Biggem Thu 20-Oct-11 15:27:40

Thank u so much for your responses. She feeds to sleep at the minute so do I just make a full bottle up and leave her to finish it? She does delr

Biggem Thu 20-Oct-11 15:30:23

iPhone!!! She will drink from a bottle so I don't think it will cause too many problems. I'm just worried im letting her down nutritionally by moving to formula, I know 1000's people use it, I just worry it will upset her tummy after just breastmilk. I guess that's just the guilt talking tho...

AJH2007 Thu 20-Oct-11 17:35:39

You are a total star to make it to five months! Only a tiny percentage of mums manage that (myself not included; I've been giving my 15 week old DS one bottle of formula at night for a while now). I agree with Rita, no need to switch from one to the other, just give a bottle here and there. We use the pre-made cartons to avoid faffing with powder - they are about 60p each but as we only use one a day it's not too expensive. Good luck with whatever you decide; I think you deserve a huge pat on the back.

JiltedJohnsGhoulie Thu 20-Oct-11 20:23:33

Instead of feeling guilty you should feel proud of everything you've achieved already smile.

Agree with Rita though, bfing shouldn't make you feel like this and think you need a check up with the GP.

As for giving up, have you though about night weaning instead? There is some info here and here.

If you do decide to give up I think the advice is to give up one feed per week, if you do it gradually it will reduce your risk of masititis.

sismith42 Fri 21-Oct-11 17:52:43

I can soo relate: my little one slept through from 6 weeks to 4 months, then started waking earlier and earlier to eat, then stopped sleeping through... I took ths as a sign that she needed more food, and started solids (but now wish I had tried offering her more milk in the day first, instead because by that point I was stupidly offering only one side at a time )

Mixed feeding isn't a failure- you've done well to get this far! I hated expressing, and after going back to work (when DD was 7 months old), tried to express for 3-4 months (IIRC- it's all a haze now!), was too exhausted, and gave up on it and she got formula when I wasn't around (once the stash was gone).

I agree with those who say to contact your GP or at least your HV about the colds and exhaustion you aren't preggers again are you?!

Biggem Sun 23-Oct-11 01:37:06

Thanks everyone!
Tried a bottle last night and tonight...she took it last night at 6.30 but didn't go down, eventually went off by boob (!) at 9ish, woke up at 4pm I went in & offered her water which she drank & tried to sleep, after an hour and she was still awake I swapped my DH, another 30mins passed before she went off to sleep and she slept until 9am.
Tonight she took about 2ozs from DH in the bottle and screamed blue murder for 20mins before I took over, refused bottle & dummy fell asleep by boob. Woke up at 1am, refused aged & dummy and has just fallen asleep by boob. What is the right way to do this, I hate seeing her get herself so upset and feel awful for trying to change her routine so quickly.
sismith42 did the same re 4month weaning....
And as for being preggo, it had crossed my mind! ;)

organiccarrotcake Sun 23-Oct-11 23:22:04

It's such a tough call, biggem, as BFing can be such an easy way to get them back to sleep - it's not possible to know which way it will go. Of course, you can try different things and just go with what works.

Formula may upset her tummy if she's got a problem with cow's milk, but you will find out really quickly. If she is fine with it then she'll continue to be fine with it. With regards to nutrients, she'll get what she needs to grow from the formula, like she would normal food after weaning. At her age she'll probably have a sealed gut (pretty much) so there's a good chance that it won't affect her that way. She won't get the antibodies - although if you mix feed she'll get a good dose of those still so that's all good.

I just want to second what's already been mentioned a few times, and urge you to go to the doctor to get yourself checked over. Could you be anaemic for instance? And yes, do a pregnancy test grin.

Hope tonight is better for you. You've done brilliantly to get to 5 months, especially feeling so unwell sad

Oh - and just to try to interpret your post - please don't leave her with a bottle (if that's what you meant). It's not safe and will be bad for her teeth. You do need to be more careful with their teeth with formula than breastfeeding, and clean them after the last FF at night. Not sure if this is what you meant.

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