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Please help, feeling desperate, tell me the reasons to stick at it

(21 Posts)
muffins Sun 09-Oct-11 22:02:37

First post in this topic.

DD is 5 days old, 1st day post delivery spent in SCBU. Received two formula
cup feeds, expressed colostrum from me and one attempt at the breast. Since then just breast fed, milk has come in, weighed today only lost 6% so not bad.

With DS gave up breastfeeding at 3 weeks after mastitis and abscesses in left breast, sore cracked nipples etc etc.

This time round I've done so much 'research' on it. I know the theory of what I should be doing, had my first breast feeding peer support visit at home yesterday yet I still have really sore cracked nipples, no
bleeding yet. I feel so disheartened that the problem
seems to be getting worse not better. I have a bit of shaping/wedging both sides which I think is where the soreness is coming from. They've told
me to try alatch where I point my nipple manually more
toward roof of her mouth. This seemed to be going ok in hospital and helping but nowis getting worse. I think I struggle as boobs
bigger and bit engorged now. Have tried expressing small amount before a feed but still I'm so sore.

To top it off am on antibiotics for cellulitis round dodgy looking c section scar. I'm fed up of being in pain everywhere. I know I sound pathetic but for thefirst time since she was born I have the sod breastfeeding and give me a bottle feeling.

I really want to be able to do this. Please say it'll get better!


jkklpu Sun 09-Oct-11 22:06:16

You've done so amazingly well in these really tough circumstances.
It will get better. Do you have Lansinoh cream, which is excellent? It seems pricey at about a tenner a tube but it lasts for ages and really is a godsend - i had a tube in every room in the house with my ds1 with whom feeding was bloody agony till he was about 9 weeks old. Get your dp to go and get you some from Mothercare if you haven't.

LoveBeingAMummyAgain Sun 09-Oct-11 22:08:05

It will get better.

Ds is 4.5 weeks and not sleeping well, today I hit a wall and thought if I bottle fed I could sleep and my dh or mum could fed him. But then I look down and think I dud that. I made an egg and grew it and now that little chap is getting bigger cause of me grin

It will get better.

Debs75 Sun 09-Oct-11 22:23:38

It does get better. I suffered with dd1 who was a great feeder, just a bit overenthusiastic. She would suck before she reached my nipple and I had cracked and scabbed nipples. A nipple cream is a godsend and an essential whilst your nipples get used to the constant sucking.

It sounds like you should recheck your latch. It is a pain but is worth it to get yourself in a good position and start each feed as if it is the first one.

Is dd opening her mouth enough? DD3 was tiny and only just got my nipple in her mouth nevermind the aerole(sp?) She nipple fed for a couple of days until she got enough energy to open her mouth and get my breast in.

Expressing before you feed should help with the engorgement and you can always use the ebm to feed her when you are really sore.

You have done really well to get to 5 days and if you can find the energy to keep going a little longer you will be passing on so many benefits to dd and yourself

Ohmydays Sun 09-Oct-11 22:28:03

I know lots of people including midwives don't like them but I found medela nipple shields a life savef! Worth a try and you can get them on amazon. All the best.

gingerbubs Sun 09-Oct-11 22:32:11

It really really does get better. Am feeding my 6 month old DD just now and am so glad I stuck at it. It is bloody hard at the start though. Agree re lanisoh, slap it on at least after every feed. Good luck!

banana87 Sun 09-Oct-11 22:33:53

I promise you it will get better.

Are you taking anything for pain? I remember taking co-codamol and dicofenlac after giving birth due to pain pretty much everywhere blush.

LakeFlyPie Sun 09-Oct-11 22:52:55

Congratulations on DD smile

Sorry you're feeling so sore, it's so hard in the beginning especially when everything's hurting sad

It DOES get better although IME not overnight, although it's a bit less overwhelming when all the other sore bits settle down.

I second what others have said re Lansinoh (my GP prescribed mine), I kept it in my pocket so it was always soft and easy to apply after every feed.

Also I found painkillers helped a lot in the early days and I'm normally a bit reticent to take them for headaches etc but regular paracetamol (and ibuprofen when I needed it) really made a difference.

Hope you're feeling more comfortable v soon and bf goes well for you smile

Lindax Sun 09-Oct-11 22:53:52

if you havent already, do try Lansinoh.

I found out about it here a couple of weeks into BF when my nips where ripped to shreds and every feed reopened the wounds and was agony. Got immediate relief at the next feed with Lansinoh and went on to BF successfully. It is amazing stuff.

stillwingingit Sun 09-Oct-11 23:08:21

Hey muffins. I know what you're going through! You are doing amazing so far believe me. For me it took 8 weeks of pure pain / cracked and bleeding nipples before one day I woke up and it no longer hurt! I thought I was dreaming it but now my ds is 6 mons and I'm still loving bfing smile I was hating those mw who kept on saying how I had to keep at it when some of them didn't even have chidren let alone know what it was like bfing! But it was when one kind mw said 'do what ever it takes to survive and get you through the day' that got me to keep trying.
I agree with the madela nipple shields - they really helpd ease the pain a bit and also if lansinoh doesn't work (as it didnt seem to on me) I tried kamillosan which you can buy easily. Just need to be wiped off prior to feeding, but it really stopped the stingy for me and seemed to help me heal a lot quicker! Also don't be afraid to express now and then when it gets really hard to give you a break. Without any of that stuff I wouldnt have got to a point where I'm ebf! All depends on what you want to do as I really believe you have to do what you think is best for you and baby smile but it does get better if bfing is what you want to do smile be strong. You really are doing great!!

muffins Sun 09-Oct-11 23:11:02

Thanks for all your replies smile

After my experience with DS I have Lansinoh and have been 'using like polyfilla to fill the cracks' as the breastfeeding support lady advised, as opposed to slapping it everywhere and giving me slippery nipples which might worsen latch.

Am on paracetamol and diclofenac post c-section anyway and have started to take paracetamol to bed in case I feel awful in the night. Also helps me to be able to get out of bed as my mobility is still a bit pants.

I think the latch is definitely the problem. DD does open her mouth quite wide but she can be a bit frantic and opens it and closes it as already sort of sucking before she's even got anything to suck if that makes sense. So need to be really quick, but I find that quite hard. I just find it so frustrating as it's like I know the theory but it doesn't seem to be working. I also think perhaps that when she is getting frantic I am more likely to accept any old latch so she is happy.

I just worry that it won't improve as DS was about 3 weeks when I gave up and things hadn't improved in that time either they had just got worse.

I think I will call the breastfeeding support people first thing in the morning to come out and see me ASAP too.

Thanks again


muffins Sun 09-Oct-11 23:12:58

Stillwingingit..............8 weeks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm not sure what smiley to insert here lol

pushmepullyou Sun 09-Oct-11 23:16:41

Ok then. You are doing fantastically, those first few days are so hard, particularly if you're having problems with your C-section scar. Good reasons to carry on (and what kept me going) are...

1) It does get easier - very much easier
2) no faffing about with formula, sterilising and having to make a bottle up in the middle of the night
3) Once you both get settled in to it it's lovely and snuggly for both of you
4) You can eat more cake
5) lots of antibodies from you means less catching random bugs from your DC1
6) It's the easiest way I've found to confort a grumpy, tired or poorly baby

Hope that's not too flippant. It's not meant to be. All these things genuinely helped me keep going through the bleeding nipple stage

Sossiges Sun 09-Oct-11 23:29:14

Hi muffins google drjacknewman, he has a fantastic site with excellent videos of latches and feeding (which helped me no end when I was starting out bf last time and crying at every feed sad). The man is a bf god [bows and scrapes].

startail Sun 09-Oct-11 23:37:54

It will get better, it will, and in a few weeks time you'll be out somewhere, get delayed and grin because it doesn't matter.
BF truly is worth sticking with, long term it is so much easier, but to start with it really is an act of faith when every feed makes you cry. No way would I have believed I'd still be doing it with a school aged child, with adult teeth and not feel a thing.

sc2987 Sun 09-Oct-11 23:45:28

Has she been checked for tongue tie? Wedge-shaped nipples, inefficient feeding, and pain are all signs. Staff often miss them (especially posterior ones) or say they won't cause problems but they really can be a big issue.

If so, the sooner it's snipped, the better.

sunnyday123 Sun 09-Oct-11 23:56:41

you are doing great smile the first few weeks are a nightmare!- seek as much help as you can get but don't let it spoil the time you have with your baby - persist as long as possible but its not the be all and end all.
I bf dd1 for 6 months but only 1 month dd2 as she didnt get it and it wasnt doing any of us any good - both are fine and it done her no harm. I am not encouraging you to stop in anyway but its important that you are fine and don't put too much pressure on yourself!

startail - bf school age children??? !!!shock

ZhenXiang Mon 10-Oct-11 00:04:42

Have you tried the rugby ball hold (see second position), I found this helped DD latch onto my right side better when it started getting sore, also found it easier after my CS. I also used to pinch up the nipple at first to get more into her mouth (not what they recommend I know, but midwife in hospital showed me that one and it worked).

Also my mum bought me this when DD was born. I used to spray it on after each feed and let nipple dry before applying either Lanisoh (more moisturising) or Avent nipple cream (which is more cooling). The spray really helped cool and soothe.

I made it through and fed to 22 months, it does get easier and you can do it x

Mampig Mon 10-Oct-11 10:30:20

Hi and hugs!! Congrats on your new baby!! Day 6 for me I was at breaking point with painful nipples, cracks and blood. I nearly gave up and had actually decided to. Got formula and bottles- I fed him one ff and cried my eyes out the whole time. His next feed was bf and I took each feed one at a time. I adjusted my outlook and decided if things were bad I'd give him a ff for a break. He never got another one!! Things changed dramatically after that and I was more or less pain free by day 10! I kept changing feeding positions and it really helped. Fwiw I think my dc has mild tongue tie but paed said no... Not specialized enough. To this day dc is 14 weeks, my nipple is still wedge shaped but not sore. He's gaining brilliant weight, feeding 2 hourly and has gotten very quick at feeding! I hope as u read this it will give you some hope that things will get bettersmile. I didn't think I'd be ebf at this stage and now I can't imagine stopping. Good luck- I found this forum was my best support and I've posted many questions and been greeted with wonderful answers and suggestionsgrin. Keep going- you are very near that all important turning point! gringrin

stillwingingit Mon 10-Oct-11 11:27:00

Yep - 8 weeks smile I had a sc too, so latching on was hard as every position they suggested was pushing down on my sore scars! So I couldn't latch him on properly at the beginning which meant I was 'damaged' and there was no time for me to recover inbetween feeds. I had to ff, express, nipple shield it etc to keep me going. Then I slowly restarted bf and slowly it got better until one morning the pain just all stopped completely. Try doing different positions. I tried lying down - but that was difficult - until I used the madela shield. That really helped me feed him lying down......and it changed my life. It meant that I could feed him and we would both fall asleep smile dh had to keep watch to make sure I didn't roll over ds, so when we both fell asleep, he would put ds back in his moses smile But it meant I could have some chance to feeding him in a new and easier way. Over time I removed the shield.
If bfing is what you want to keep doing, it is worth it and it does get better. But it isn't the end of the day if you choose to stop! As long as you are both healthy and you're happy with your decision smile It will all work out in the end smile x

muffins Mon 10-Oct-11 16:55:28

Thank you so much for your replies everyone. I went to bed with a much more positive head on and just accepted the fact that it is going to hurt a bit. I think accepting this is helping me with the latching on as I am not faffing about feeling scared to put my nipple in her mouth. I do genuinely feel that it may even be slightly more comfortable today although that may be psychological too. I have a breastfeeding support lady coming to see me again in the morning so am hoping for another reasonable night again tonight and perhaps a bit of improvement in the way my nipples look in the morning, fingers crossed smile

thanks again for your support ladies

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