New mum (not me) advice please(14 Posts)
My good friend has just had a baby boy he is a week old tomorrow. He is breast fed but just seems to be wanting to be on the breast all the time. He is drinking constantly but will only feed from one breast when my friend is laid on her back and cries constantly if she is sat up. He hasnt really slept since he was born and just constantly wants feeding, every hour. Friend is obviously still exhausted from a bad birth experience (lots of issues) and obv tired due to nil sleeP
Has anyone got any hints i can try give her, or is this normal and to be expected?
Could her let down be too strong? Is he sick a lot? What does it sound like when he drinks? Gulps?
I think it's impossible to say from your post if there is a problem or not, but either way she should get some real life support.
By not sleeping, do you mean the baby is waking every hour to feed or actually not sleeping much at all? Waking frequently is not unusual and will settle down with time, although it is exhausting.
However, she really needs someone to check that the baby is latched on well and is getting milk effectively. If not, this could be contributing to constant feeding and might lead to other problems, hence important to get that checked.
As for tips for dealing with the tiredness - consider co-sleeping if she isn't already. She can try feeding on her side so she can doze while baby feeds. If she does co-sleep, make sure she reads these guidelines on how to do it safetly.
She needs partner/family/friends to do everything else - cook and clean etc. and to hold the baby while she has a long bath. Her job right now is to feed and cuddler her baby and sleep when she can. She might also find a sling is useful for keeping the baby close and freeing her hands. Stretchy wraps are a good option for newborns.
Hi sorry i posted and went to bed! Thanks for the replies.
I know nothing about breast feeding and my friend as had little support from midwives at hospital - the birth was quite bad so I think they where more concerned about seeing to her and checking both were actually fit and well so didnt worry too much and said he was latching ok - although friend has said she doesnt feel like its "right"
He isnt sick but pumps ALOT I mean massive man farts!!
She said he wants feeding every hour, feeds about twenty minutes, then winding bum change settle oh and its feed time again.
she is a first time mum with very good intentions of by the book and isnt keen on co sleeping (partner is a big lad and sleeps v deeply and nowhere else in the house for either to sleep)
I watched her feeding the other day and it appeared to hurt her, her nipples bled and she didnt look like she was happy. He seemed to be happy with what he was getting and did seem to be content once he was finished. She also mentioned she was getting pain in her lower stomach when feeding him?
He actually slept for a few hours in between feeds last night and she felt so much better today I think she is a bit overwhelmed but would love to be able to give her some practical advise as other people seem to just be patting her on her head almost saying how well she is doing, which is lovely but not helping her when she feels like she isnt doing well.
Thanks again for replies!
Her nipples really should not be bleeding! Breastfeeding can be painful at the start but not to this extent. Chances are the baby is not latched on to the breast properly. This might be what's making it painful. If the baby doesnt have a good latch it might mean he is not getting milk very efficiently and so wants to feed all the time.
Your friend really must get someone to come and see her as soon as possible. There are breastfeeding helplines she can call and breastfeeding groups she can go to who have trained councelors to help her. If she cant get out of the house it might be possible for someone to come and see her. She can also call her midwives and ask for someone to come and help her with breastfeeding.
It's very important at this stage that she gets this checked out in real life. It can be a hard slog to begin with but it really is well worth it - breastfeeding is not only amazing for the baby but amazing for mum too, once you get over those first hurdles.
Hang on and I'll have a look for those phone numbers for you (my baby just needs feeding first!)
The best thing you can do for her is get her to a breast feeding support group.
thanks so much. I feel so useless for her as I dont have children myself so I dont have much understanding. (only just found out about my own cycle length and being introduced via MN to CM and such delights ) Its important to her to breast feed but at the same time she has had a really hard birth, a terrible pregnancy and she cant technically have children so I dont think it really sunk in she was having a baby until he was in her arms. Id hate for this to ruin this special time for her without at least trying to help her!
Thanks so much
Maybe you can go with her to a support group. It will get better and there's no reason why she shouldn't have a lovely breastfeeding relationship with her baby. But it does take a bit for work - we're not born knowing how to breastfeed! Get her the support she needs, then go home with her and hold the baby while she has a cup of tea! You sound like a lovely friend
I have text her, will forward her the details you have given to me, either I or her husband will go with her. (be better if her husband goes then he might be able to feel a bit more use to her)
Thanks very much everyone! (will be making lots of tea in exchange for cuddles with baby hehe - Im still amazed he is so perfect!!!)
The pains in her lower abdomen sound like her uterus contracting back. The hormones associated with BF help stimulate this. Sorry, too tired to google you the technicalities, but it sounds normal. She should mention it to a doctor or HV if she is worried though.
The constant feeding is normal too. It will pass - although you can't believe it at the time. And congratulations to your friend who is doing well, even if she doesn't believe it. It's bloody hard!!
Ive been asking her if she wants any help but she insists she can manage, have told DH that if he feels she needs help just to tell me what, when how and ill do it. (she is very independent and stubborn bit like me!) Also told him if he wants some meals knocking up to let me know and he can take full credit and not let on it was me haha!
He has started to settle now so she is feeling a lot happier and she is speaking to her MW or HV tomorrow when he gets a heel test?
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