BF and CS keeping him up?(6 Posts)
DS is 15wo and EBF. We also co-sleep, out of necessity initially as he wouldn't sleep in a crib when tiny. Since then, I have read up on cs and both DH and I are comfortable with our choices. My mother and SIL though, are another story. SIL has a child three months older than mine - FF and does CC. Her child has slept through since the early weeks. My DS has always woken every 2 hrs or so for a bit of boob then back to sleep. Recently, I got quite excited as we had a period of him going 4-5 hrs between wakings. Then he caught a snuffly cold which woke him every hour or so. Since then, he has been waking very regularly - at best every 2 hrs, at worst every 45 mins and has been harder to settle. My mum (seeing how sil's child sleeps) is pressuring me to bottle feed and CC. My SIL keeps giving me 'helpful' anecdotes about her friends' babies moving into their own beds and having bottles. I have been sarcastically nicknamed 'earth mother' by my family who obviously think I'm some kind of hippy for bf. And after another horrible night my DH has just said perhaps we should consider moving him into his own room and that perhaps it's the bf and cs that disturbs him. Could this be true? Am I exacerbating the sleep problem by having him in bed and bf all night? Sorry, wasn't sure if this should be posted here or on the sleep thread.
You are doing a fantastic job by bf and co-sleeping, responding to your baby's needs quickly, especially as he's still so young.
I think co-sleeping can make babies wake more since there's a lovely warm and tasty boob within easy reach, but in my opinion this is a good thing. The milk at night is fattier for those growth spurts and it is reassuring for your baby to know you are there. I read somewhere that with bottle feeding mothers get 20 minutes LESS sleep a night. And I've also read that CC babies cry MORE at one year. (sorry cant remember where I've read that though so might be crap!)
For more info on co-sleeping and why it's great read 'three in a bed'. Your babies sleep will probably yo yo around through all the coming developmental milestones and growth spurts. What you're doing will allow you to respond to his needs perfectly.
I think every baby is different. My DD never had a problem with sleeping in her cot. She was in a cot bed from the first day she was home. And she hated swaddling. We never did CC. So if I was to give you the advice to put your LO in a cot bed from day 1, how useful is that?
I dont know if cosleeping makes a baby wake up more. But my DD is EBF and slept from 10-7 most nights from around 11wks. In my NCT group the best sleepers are my DD and another breastfed baby. So I don't think bf is the cause of not sleeping through, despite what your well meaning relatives say.
If you want to try to end the cosleeping, how about trying to move your LO in his crib or cot again? My DD was in our room till 4mo, and I found it helps she could see us in the same room when I put her down awake. Now she's in her nursery, we have to sit with her until she falls asleep. What I'm saying is your LO might tolerate it now he's older and can see across the room to know you are there.
Also if you haven't read it, I recommend Elizabeth Pantley's no cry sleep solution. I really can't stand letting my DD cry.
In the end every baby is unique. And you know yours better than anyone else.
We moved DD into her own room & cot at 7-8 months (we were in the middle of moving house so it ended up being later than at 6 months as we had planned). I won't lie - she does sleep for longer periods than she did in the bed, but I wouldn't have moved her into her own room any earlier than 6 months. She still ends up in our bed around 5am on a good night (now almost 16 months!) and earlier depending on her wake up time, but we've made our peace with it. Plus I sleep better as I was stressed about DH rolling on to her & waking every time she moved. I suspect DH was waking her with tossing and turning, and I probably was too.
When she's in her own room she'll sometimes wake and grizzle for around 20 seconds and fall back asleep, but if she's in bed with me, I'll feed her straightaway so she doesn't wake up fully even though I know she's not hungry, but I'm too tired to take the risk that it won't escalate into a full wake up.
CC is not something I could do even now, but no one I know would recommend it below 6 months anyway. Try to get your DH on your side in public at least. DD was mix fed from 8 months and did not sleep better after a bottle! Myth from our experience. If you are considering moving him into his own room, try into a cot first of all in your room.
Good luck and try to ignore family pressure. I know what it's like to doubt every thing you do - you're tired, stressed, worried and assume everyone else knows more than you do. The funny thing is that you learn afterwards that they don't necessarily! My dad kept going on about how they just let me cry when I was a baby and that soon taught me to sleep through the night, my mum told me quietly later that it was a selective memory on his part - that she had spent hours rolling me in a pram to sleep for the first few months of my life and that she had to move into another room with me so he could sleep.
Mine have slept far better when cosleeping than most of my friends' babies have. And DS was a nightmare sleeper before we started cosleeping.
There is often a sleep regression around 15-16 weeks (no idea what causes it, but DD2 is 7mo and I remember most of my due date group bewailing it a few months back). Combine that with the nasty cold and it's no surprise she's had a setback. Give her some time and she'll spread her wakings out again.
Oh I LOVE Three In A Bed. It was just what I needed when I HAD to co-sleep as it was the only way to get any rest at all, yet I was desperately against it at the time. I am so glad I read this book. It explained all the reasons why co-sleeping is so beneficial (with references), and also validated all the things I was starting to like about it, so I had some ammo against the MIL!!!
I have a copy if you want to borrow it - just PM me.
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