advice 4 mum of 5 who has never brestfeed and really wants to

[sanityseeker]

Hi I am expecting baby number 5 and have never tried to brestfeed!with my last two babiesi had fully intended to brest feed and am clued up to th ereal benefits to my child.However I just could not do it when it came to it and got my husband to make up a bottle without even attempting it.
This time I have not bought any bottles and formula so will have to feed my baby.I have had 3 home births so have not been presured by anyone wither way .My own opinion on my responces is that my own mum did not brestfeed us?I really want this to work out any advice or toughts greatly welcome.Thanks

[pootlebug]

I would find a local breastfeeding counsellor (or more than one....see who you click with) and go and talk to her before the birth. She might be able to work through why you struggled previously, and suggest some ideas. She will also be someone you know you can rely on post-birth if you hit any problems.

You can normally find them via Children's centres, GP surgeries, the NCT, or the La Leche League.

Best of luck!

[tiktok]

Good ideas from pootlebug. Contact nos. for the bf organisations are on the mumsnet bf info page, too.

Might be good to bring your husband on board with your plans, too. He may feel ok about bottle feeding which he knows about and knows he can do as well, and be concerned about something new with a fifth baby. Also your mum, if you think breastfeeding might be somewhat outside her comfort zone, too :)

[HattiFattner]

figure out WHY you want to bf. what benefits are you wanting, what is motivatng you....write it all down.

Because on day 2, 3am, when you are knackered and baby is permanently attached to your sore nipples, you need to remind yourself why you are doing this.

The reasons can be a combination of benefits to baby AND to you - there is no shame in saying you want to bf to help you lose baby weight and protect yourself against breast cancer.

Also make a note to yourself that it is not easy initially, but that it gets easier and better after the first couple of weeks.

Persevere, but if it doesnt work out for you, then thats also OK.

[organiccarrotcake]

Congrats on baby number 5 :)

Can you define why you couldn't do it the last two times, and why you feel you want to now?

Yay to 3 home births, too! Fabulous.

[Mampig]

Hello sanityseeker! I was same with baby no 4- never bf before- although wanted to- so put my all into ds4. 12 weeks on we're still ebf!! Was hard at the start but it is def doable! My eldest is 6 btw!

[timewastingaway]

Hi Sanityseeker
I am currently 32 weeks with number 3.I didn't BF my first atall and only 1st feed with my second.
I am so desperate to BF number 3 as i regret not BF'ing my other 2 so so much but i was just not clued up on it.
I have spent the last year and a half reading up about it,watching clips on you tube etc.I have invested in a good nursing pilow,nipple cream,bras etc rather than buying bottles and formula.
Like you,this time i am not buying any bottle feeding stuff "just incase" although i have a breast pump which comes with a bottle.

I'm hoping the determination pays off as this will be my last baby and i hope it goes well for you too..How does your mum feel about it?

Everyone that i've told is good about it,my Dp knows how much it means to me.The only person who i think will turn her nose up is the MIL as she bottle fed hers but i don't care.

If you would like to get in touch and we can share experiences? that would be nice.It's so nice to find someone who i can relate to as i haven't yet met anyone that is on their 2nd,3rd etc without having BF'ed.
How far on are you in your pregnancy?

[Teapot13]

If your children's centre has a baby cafe with breastfeeding support, see if you can stop by and see breastfeeding pairs in action, and then visit with your baby when it arrives. I had not seen a baby BF up close since I was a child myself!

[timewastingaway]

Just bumping this as the OP hasn't been back...

Mampig good for you...how do you find the BF'ing in comparison? How do you find it with the others to look after? Has it been like you expected it to be so far?
How do you feel now that you are doing so well with it?...Lots of Q's sorry.It's just i have noone to talk about it with in RL

I know i will feel so proud of myself for doing it,even just giving it my best shot but i'm wondering if on the other hand it will make me feel even worse for not doing the same for my other children...Do you ever have feelings of sadness or guilt? I feel sadness about it alot and im wondering how doing it this time has made you feel about not doing it before.If that makes any sense,sorry im not sure how to word it.

Hope you don't mind me asking these things

[Mampig]

Hi there! Not at all!! First 2 weeks were v hard what with nipple pain, second thoughts looking after the others etc. I got thru one feed at a time! Bought lanisoh cream which really was excellent! Actually this very forum got me to where we are today!! . Pain subsided on day 10 but bf only became easy around 6-8 weeks. Well worth it!!! I had whole summer with kids off school so I explained to them about bf and how I needed them to behave and entertain themselves while I bf. They were brilliant once they got used to it. Dh put no pressure on me one way or the other- I think he expected it not to work initially so humoured me!!! But I can honestly say that now were are established, it is sooo easy! No bottles is a big plus and nighttime feeds lying down are a godsend!! Sleepy hormones are fab too! Out and about is also easy- never had a prob with bf in public and even took ds to a wedding 4 weeks ago. None of my family bf so was all new to me. Again the ladies on here were my biggest source of actual support! Issues will arise for u and still do for me but in general I'm very happy to continue. Pm me if u want- ply thing is I wouldn't be on everyday but would be happy for questions. If urgent though these ladies are fab!! Also I never managed to get to a group or anything, but that would be highly recommended. Also a bf counsellor spoke to me before the birth and I remember it was her advice I cling to in the tougher times xo

[Mampig]

Also- with regard your other dcs- you can't change the past so look to the future!!

[sanityseeker]

oh wow you ladies are amazing ! thanks for the support and interset you have all shown .
I really want to do this for all the health benefits to both me and our baby. I want to set a positive role model to my eldest two daughters (11 and 13) and show them that brest feeding is a good natural and healthy thing. I want also (this may sound bloody minded!)can not stand the thought that i have failed at something thjat i feel is inheraintly natuarl and beautiful.
husband will support anything i do , and when he saw how much formula is these days - he is now totally convinced lol.
my mum is great and i think if she had her timenow she would alsobrestfeed.
i am very luck to have a friend who lives on my rd who is a brestfeeding advisor and works on an NHS martenity ward , she is well up for supporting me .
It is so nice to hear from you all especially timewsting away , as you sound just like me - nutter lolm- i am 36 weeks pregnant now by the way so baby due 2nd nov
i'd love some support over the coming months from all you experienced and those who are giving it tjhere first go , thanks so much xxxxxxxxxxxxx

[sanityseeker]

mampig - great to hear you did it!!!!!!! - I think from what you and othere people have said that patience and peserverance are key to bf sucsess,