lolly, your lovely new baby sounds absolutely normal!
Babies of four days need to be close to and/or on the breast a lot of the time - this is normal, natural and important for getting bf off to a good start.
A dummy would not be a good idea because it interferes with this process - babies should get their sucking time at the breast when they are very new, not really because the sucking 'interferes' with the 'skill' of sucking at the breast (though this is possible I think) but because you don't want him to be happy and soothed with a dummy at this stage - risk is he seems happy on the dummy but actually needs the breast....not all babies (especially new ones) are fully able to know the difference and will appear content on the dummy, whereas they need to be priming your breastmilk production.
My BF counsellor said 3-8 weeks is the best time to introduce a bottle if you want to use it for expressed milk or move to mixed feeding. This age minimises nipple confusion apparently. Presumably a dummy would be similar, so maybe wait a few weeks if you can, although I know that seems difficult.
Agree wholeheartedly with tiktok. On day 4 ds was feeding almost constantly. At night in particular this sucking is very important in establishing milk supply. It WILL settle down and is utterly normal.
I gave my bf ds a dummy at this age; it was the only way we could get him to sleep at night. We'd hold it in for a few seconds, and as soon as he was asleep we'd remove it. I never had any problems with milk supply as was still feeding very regularly, and ds never got nipple confusion, but this is just my experience.
He found his thumb good and proper a few weeks later and hasn't stopped sucking it since! (he's now 8 months) So we chucked the dummies away.
Thanks for the replies. My confidence in bf isn't that great, I have rather large boobs and flatish nipples, I've had to resort to a Sheild for one boob as he finds it hard to latch onto as the nipple is quite big for his little mouth. I have 3 other dcs but gave up very quicklly with dc1 and 2, I managed to feed dc3 until he was two but had a very difficult start with him and mix fed for the first couple of months.
Have you tried having him in your bed? I don't like the idea of co-sleeping but DS hates his moses basket. He falls asleep in my arms then I sneak him in his basket and he wakes up. Now I let him fall asleep in my bed for half an hour until he's completley zonked, and put a hot water bottle and some breast pads in his basket and he's fine!!!
I'm with TikTok as well. It's not usually recommended to introduce dummies or bottles before 6 weeks. Can you meet with a BF counsellor (NCT or LLL) to talk things through? Some decent support should help your confidence level.
It sounds like he really wants to be close to you - just where newborns are designed to be. My DS was like this, I just couldnt put him down - so I didn't. We ended up co-sleeping and it really worked for us (still does at 7 months!), he was happy, and I got more sleep. Make sure you get proper support with the bf. Good luck!
scbu gave dtds dummies during tube feeds to get them sucking - I now have 4week old girls who are pretty content, bf well and have dummies to calm them. dd1 would comfort suck but with twins I simply don't have the luxury of time! my mw was anti but my hv said to use them as we have cot death in the family and they help prevent it - mam ones are supported by SID charity.
In addition, often giving bottles and dummies after 6 weeks is often unsuccessful (as I discovered with dd1 who refused a bottle until 8 months), this time hv said to introduce before 6 weeks but after3 - we give one bottle of expressed milk a night, and it works well for us.
Basically, you will get lots of advice, so just do what feels right.