Overcoming br-f issues...and planning to ff?(38 Posts)
I am due in 2 weeks time with nr 2. I am a professional and have a beautiful healthy 2 yo girl. This pregnancy has gone well and I am excited.
But I am getting so stressed at the thought of br-feeding. I struggled. I hated it. She was tiny and only started looking healthy & well when I introduced ff round 4mo. I don't actually feel like I can discuss it with anyone. DH will of course support whatever I feel but he also seems to remember things differently vs me.
The thought of sitting confined to a chair for hours on end with a tiny baby and unable to pay any attention to my eldest...
So. In short. Considering mixed or ff.
Any advice: how/when do you sterilise bottles?have an old tommee tippee microwave steriliser but lost instructions.
I can't discuss this with HV /MW as I only felt under pressure from them.
Unlike other posters/current threads-which I admire!- I am the opposite. Idont have this urge to try and br-feed/succeed/accept a small baby.
Maybe I am unrealistic and simply ff will not make early post natal period easier. Maybe I had bad blues and will again. But those days were so dark I am willing to try to alter something if this experience and actually try to enjoy -not resent-my newborn for the first3 mo.
Sorry for the long tale and thanks for reading.
Ps no idea why I felt need to say I'm a professional. Maybe that I am usually a coper/rational...but sounds like an @rse now I read it back!
I dont know much about ff, but hated bf too. I found it much easier the second time round though.
I think you just need to relax and go with the flow? Not all bf babies feed all day. Mine was only doing only 10-15min a feed from the let go. I was trying my best to keep her awake so she could feed for longer! Thinking back I should have just relax and enjoy since DD was gaining weight fine.
Have your formula ready and at anytime when you feel the bf gets too much, make a bottle instead?
As for sterilizing I do it just before I needed a bottle (and my breast pump). The sterilizers say it's not sterile once you open the lid. As for the formula milk current advice is to mix it with hot water because the formula itself isn't sterile. I do believe you can make a days worth in advance. Can you imagine trying to make a new bottle with a hungry screaming baby?
Have got ready prepped cartons of formula.
Desperate to 'go with the flow' but failed miserably at being relaxed last time. Sooo hoping that, in general, I'll will be more relaxed second time round.
Just been looking at other thread '5 things bout br-f' and I'm struggling to remember any positives. Admittedly will have longer mat leave this time round but would not want to ebf longer than 5 months anyway...so is it even worth trying to start??
Good Luck with the new little one. You need to do whatever you feel suits you best but I would encourage you to at least give BFing ago as it might be easier for you this time, and those first BFs of colostrum really do make a big difference to the baby.
At least you won't have that shock this time of realising that BFing isn't all lovely and relaxing as I found most antenatal classes seemed to focus on. So perhaps you will have more realistic expectations
Would you regret it if you didn't try at all? Not trying to make your mind up or pressurise you, but just giving you food for thought
Thanks for taking the time to reply Kim. I will defo start and try colostrum feed but am thinking along lines of a bottle of ff in eve by DH. Expressing was a disaster last time and I can't face that at all!
But im hoping that I could be more pragmatic and give her extra calories when she needs it.
Seriously, I struggle to look at photos of my daughter ion the first 3/4 months because she was so small and gaunt.
Needless to say my main concern is that we are all healthy!which is why it annoys me even more that the feeding issue is getting me so stressed as due date creeps closer!
What about just giving the colostrum, and then going to bottles after the first few days? Even if you breastfeed for a short time, the baby will benefit from this, and the colostrum is the most important bit. However I'm a strong believer that if you really really hate BFing, it's not worth it. I'd start off with it and see how you go, but set yourself a small target - 3 days, or 5 days, or a week. If you love it, then of course carry on, but if you're still feeling like you are now, then switch and don't feel guilty!
Thanks Bertie. Seem to remembeqr you from last time round! Yip. Will have everything here and ready...
Guess I was a bit caught out when bumped into HV on street the other day and she said' this time round you'll be a champion br-feeder'. When I wanted to say 'f off as I'm still recovering from last time and you'll be lucky if I open the door for you...!'
Christ. Maybe I do need councilling.
HVs are a special kind of tactless, aren't they?
Pressure to breastfeed is terrible - sorry you've been treated like that. Don't put pressure on yourself - have a go if you want to, and set yourself some goals, but if it doesn't work, be happy that ff is a alternative which is just as good (for different reasons).
Didn't realise the time! Thanks for all the replies. Just wanted to soundboard. Mates are v pro-br f and couldnt really speak to them. Anonymity of MN sometimes a blessing.
Yip. Think that is what I'll do...give it a go. Try to introduce a bottle early on to allow a bit of a break/time with daughter. Unless of course we have a super quick guzzling weight gaining feeder this time round.
I'll be lurking and still need ff advice-cause no HV can or want to give that! Grr!
Re MW and HV:I work in healthcare too but they still astonish me...
It is easier second time round. I have two same age difference as yours youngest is now 4 months and e breastfeeding makes it so much easier to look after the two as it's always ready and I don't have to leave them! Do not get stressed whatever you decided! Mixed feeding may be your solution. Try down loading instructions fir your steriliser.
I HATED BF the first time around, was the worst decision I ever made to force myself to do it for 4 months. 2nd time around it was great! Easy peasy. I did give formula too (a few bottles a week). I stopped at 8 months but only because I never thought I would possibly still be BF by then and had made plans that were incompatible with BF. I sort of regret giving up TBH. If anyone had told me that when I was pregnant I would have laughed at them. Try and keep an open mind and see what happens.
dials when did you start with the ff? From the start? What a hopeful tale...
Oh by the way: my Tommee Tippee steriliser is 8oz water, microwave on high for 8 mins
Is it the old one dials or the closer to nature? I still have old one.
Yep, DD was 10lb and my milk didn't come in for days and days (due to EMCS I think). I started topping up when I felt necessary and when my milk came in properly I just gave the odd bottle when it suited. DD actually slept longer when BF though. I BF at night to save all the hassle of getting up and prepping bottles etc. However my age gap is much bigger than yours, DS is 8 and DD is 9 months so he doesn't need such immediate full on attention than a 2year old. I know what I did is against all the rules for successful BF but I had the attitude at the beginning that if it worked it worked this time but I wasn't willing to let BF overshadow and ruin the first months. Later I got really into it and had a few problems with DD preferring bottles but I persevered with BF. I had a flight to Australia to do when DD was 3 months so that helped me stick with it as I knew it would be easier than FF on the flight. I also charged DP the amount Formula apparently costs (£40 per month) so I now have £320 to spend on clothes and vodka when I have lost some weight! We did spend about £10 per month on Formula but I didn't count that in the calculations as he didn't have to do many night feeds . Good luck
I didn't enjoy bfing my dd for a few months really as it was so painful. Ds1 and ds2 have been a completely different story and knew how to feed straight from birth. I think setting short targets is a great idea and if you get through this feed, you find yourself getting through the next somehow. I wish you every success without whatever you decide.
I am breast feeding, although when my baby was a new born, I breast fed & gave her formula. I always gave her bottles of formula through the night, so I knew she had a full tummy & then I would also express at night to keep my supply up.
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