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what help or advice can i give to a friend who is trying really hard to bf

(8 Posts)
carriedababi Thu 04-Aug-11 18:10:08

was thinking of sending an email link of kellymom website,ntc reasonto be proud poster ifican findalink

anything elseyouthink woud be helpful?

Pavlovthecat Thu 04-Aug-11 18:16:30

go round with a ton of pre-cooked easy eat food that she can eat one-handed and a cup with a lid so she can have easier access to a hot (ish) drink, then if she is permanently feeding/trying to establish feed she will feel less need to get up! I found that the hardest at first, the permanence of being in one spot.

Audio book/ipod/mp3 player of some kind/lots of books to read.

Chance to sit with baby while she has a shower/sleeps in the day if she has been up a lot in the night feeding/feels exhausted from it all.

Problem with links and reassurances etc that are not asked for, can look like pressure and if she is finding it hard, she might see it as criticism/suggesting she is not doing well rather than positive. Or, she might not, if you know her well enough to know that of her.

Best way to support people's decisions is to just be there imo.

midori1999 Thu 04-Aug-11 18:46:23

I agree that practical help will be wonderful. Meals, housework, company. An offer to hold/wind/cuddle the baby in between feeds so she can sleep (although she may prefer to do all baby stuff herself and have help with other things). Offer to walk the dog if she has one too.

Depending on how close you are, reassurances it will get better and telling her she's doing great might help too.

For me the early days would have been much easier if all I had to do was concentrate on baby.

MoonFaceMamaaaaargh Thu 04-Aug-11 18:57:16

tube of lansinohl (sp)

You are a good friend. Personally i'd rather give the links/stuff printed out. You can say it's just if they want it. They can choose to look or not. I'd rather that than later find out it hadn't worked cause someone had given her crap info. We know that happens a lot from threads on here. You might be able to prevent it. If they are a close friend you'll be able to handle it in such a way to minimise perceived pressure. smile

MoonFaceMamaaaaargh Thu 04-Aug-11 18:58:56

and practical help aswell.

carriedababi Thu 04-Aug-11 19:13:22

oh ive also told her to get on here and come on the baby feeding boards

WoTmania Thu 04-Aug-11 19:24:51

Can you accompany her to a BF group? Sometime it helps to have someone else there to a)provide moral support and b)take in all the points you've missed

carriedababi Thu 04-Aug-11 20:06:55

yesi'vesuggestedbaby cafe

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