dd is still feeding most nights before bed and most mornings when she wakes up. She is slowly giving it up but at the moment seems to want it all the time. Very insistent that "Big girls have E (her name for it) too". The real problem is ds (6) as he is (half jokingly) asking for it too. He cannot understand why she gets it as she is no longer a baby and in fact a child lke he is. How can i get dd to stop or deal with ds (btw ds self weaned at about 13 months )
Gradually is the way to do it. We dropped the bedtime feed just after DS turned 2, as DH took over the whole bedtime routine. That took a while as he had been feeding to sleep. I gradually put him down awake, then moved the feed to before stories, then to before bath, then to before we went upstairs, eventually dropping it altogether. Lose the daytime feeds via distraction. Morning was the toughest. Reducing the length of the feed for a while and then out and out refusal was how I did it, but with jolly distraction, and he wasn't bothered after a few days.
I wanted to wean DS as I was pregnant and finding it uncomfortable, but I would have fed him for longer if it hadn't been driving me up the wall.
If you wouldn't otherwise want to wean though, then it might be simpler to distract your DS! You could point out that although she's not a baby, he's still much more grown-up than she is, and that she still needs it, but he grew out of it long ago. Can he have a lovely cuddle at the same time so he doesn't feel left out?