What are my rights re refusing a MW visit? Legal position?

[buttonmoon78]

Or rather, postponing one?

DS born 16th July at 4260g, day 5 3840, day 7 3920g, day 11 (yesterday) 3920g. EBF.

MW wants to come again tomorrow to check weight again with a view to a medical review if static again. Initially I agreed but now I'm wondering if she's being too hasty. He does have a touch of jaundice tbh, but he's not lost any more weight and I feel I'm being rushed into a medicaslised feeding solution.

If I say no and ask to wait until Tuesday am I going to get into 'trouble'?

[buttonmoon78]

Oh, and he was induced at 38wks.

[EdithWeston]

Yes you can refuse.

But think hard before you do. How is his jaundice? There may be more to this than just feeding (eg is she thinking of that lamp therapy).

[buttonmoon78]

His jaundice is mild (stated as such by two midwives). I think it's the weight that is the true 'cause for concern' not the jaundice.

I don't want to do anything which will hurt ds, but I'm feeling really pressured to 'perform' which is getting me very stressed.

[WoTmania]

That sounds like a difficult position.
What plan has she put in place so far? If She hasn't and/or hasn't given you any info on upping supply and weight gain in baby could you speak to a Lactation Consultant or Breastfeeding Counsellor? If you did that today you could then let her come over tomorrow and if weight is still static tell her the plan you have to put in place and who you are working with.
If you do this you can show her you are taking the weight thing seriously but that you are determined about EBF.

[NotQuiteCockney]

How much is he pooping?

Weighing every day is a bit mad, tbh, but static weight is a reasonable reason for concern.

[DaisySteiner]

You could ask if there is a specialist feeding midwife at the unit she's based at, who you could speak to before/as well as speaking to a paed. Personally, although I declined any weighing with my last baby, as a possible problem has been identified with your baby I would be loathe to actually decline weighings/visits in case they start to go down the road of having 'concerns'/child safeguarding etc etc. It's a hassle you don't need with a new baby and if they give you advice you don't agree with it will look better to be asking for a second opinion or specialist breastfeeding input than to be seen as uncooperative.

[buttonmoon78]

I've already seen a bfc last week who v slightly adjusted my position and latch after which bf became comfy (after the first few sucks!)

I've said I'll go to 2 hourly feeds by waking him and I'm expressing some in the morning if there's some left to give him in the evening.

I've just remembered HV is coming today for initial visit too.

[buttonmoon78]

Pooping 5/6 times a day, lots of wee (overflowed nappy twice yesterday).

[kellieb7]

Hi, I had a similar situation except my DD had visits from both the community midwife and the midwife from the hospital due to baby being prem with a few issues. Some days my DD was even being weighed twice and I found it very stressfull. I didn't want to start refusing visits as clearly they were coming to ensure the health of DD. I spoke to both midwifes about how I was feeling and we were able to agree that weighing everyday was far too much and we put a plan together where they would come back together in 3 days and re-assess the situation after weighing her. This gave me three days to FEED, FEED, FEED and thankfully DD gained lots of weight and has continued to do so. I would be honest with people as it does help. HTH x

[tiktok]

button, as I said on the other thread, it's reasonable to keep an eye on things at the moment - but the frequency of weighing at this stage is a matter of judgement, not cut-and-dried fact, and it may be your midwife judged a weight on Friday would be better than waiting until Monday (ie after the weekend).

Can you call her and say exactly what you have said here - that you are worried the situation is being medicalised? Did she give you any suggestions on dealing with the static weight, other than weighing again? If not, then you'd be justified in asking for some further specialist support.

[buttonmoon78]

daisy that's my concern really which is why I don't want to refuse as such, just delay.

[WoTmania]

I've already seen a bfc last week who v slightly adjusted my position and latch after which bf became comfy (after the first few sucks!)
Well that's good :)

Are you also:

Switch Nursing
Breast Compressing
and have you been shown how to recognise active swallowing?

[seeker]

You can- but be careful. Sleepiness is a possible sign of jaundice and you say you have to wake him to feed him. He may need some light therapy. I would let the midwife visit, but be prepared to be assertive and ask for the exact reason for the concern.

[buttonmoon78]

Swallowing is good, he's def getting milk.
Switch nursing - is that where you change sides often during feed to maintain interest? If so then yes.
Not sure about the other.

[crikeybadger]

buttonm- you can google breast compressions plus jack newman and you'll see some videos of this in action.

Agree with Tiktok's suggestion - esp. as you have HV today who will prob weigh too.

[WoTmania]

Switch nursing is where you swao everytime they start to lose interest and swallowing sows down.

[WoTmania]

*slows down

[buttonmoon78]

He's not 'sleepy' as such - he's perfectly alert right now holding his head up beautifully. All I meant is that he sometimes will want to sleep for more than 2hrly feed intervals. He also falls asleep at the breast regularly but wakes up readily for more but thats common in babies induced early IIRC.

[buttonmoon78]

By early I don't mean prem, I mean before they are ready

[crikeybadger]

You could spend the weekend having a babymoon too buttonmoon.

[buttonmoon78]

Right. Am going to ring mw now and have a chat. I hope I keep it together. This emotional link with bf we have is a right pain in the bum at times

Thanks all so far.

[buttonmoon78]

That's my plan crikey. My mum had to go home yesterday but dh is taking me down to hers this w/e so dcs can run about on the beach and I can spend all w/e snuggling in bed with ds.

[baskingseals]

stand your ground.

dd was born early and ill. after surgery, while still in hospital she was weighed after every feed. i found this so stressful, i can remember sweating trying to get her to latch on and feed.

if it is sunny where you are, wrap him up and take him outside, sunshine can help with jaundice.

congratulations and enjoy your baby.

[buttonmoon78]

basking I wonder if thats where I'm getting some of my angst from? DD1 had severe reflux and failure to thrive. We were admitted at 8 wks and I had to weigh before and after each feed and weigh each nappy etc for a week. It was hell

After all that, I've just spoken to mw. She says she's happy to leave til Tues as she knows I'm an intelligent person (snarf) and that I won't put his well being at risk.

So much ado about nothing

Thanks guys.

[WoTmania]

that's good news - I'm assuming he's weeing and pooing plenty and seems fine in himself? Apart from a little sleepy but you're obviously dealing with that.