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Older babies who will only sleep latched on

(19 Posts)
GreenTeapot Fri 15-Jul-11 22:02:50

I've already been through this once with DS so I'm not impressed that 10 month old DD has started it. It's only at night and she's started to really resist DP doing bedtime or resettling her. I'm fed up and need a break. My poor boobs are being chewed to bits angry

organiccarrotcake Fri 15-Jul-11 22:09:55

hmm Mine goes through phases of this (12mths), usually when poorly or teething. It's a PITA and made worse by the fact that for me, it's a miserable part of BFing that I can't "complain" about without just being given grief for "still" BFing. Yet I BF for so many other fantastic reasons that this is just a small part of it. But when it's happening it's horrid.

So sympathy from me - and thanks for posting as it makes me feel less alone!

RitaMorgan Fri 15-Jul-11 22:28:01

I had to stop sleeping the whole night with ds. If he's in his own bed he's happy with a dummy, if he's in my bed only a nipple will do - I really enjoy co-sleeping but hate feeling like he's only after one thing! He just comes into bed for an hour or two in the morning now.

wrigglerstea Fri 15-Jul-11 22:33:32

The only way I got out of this was getting admitted to ITU when Wriggler was 9 months old. No idea how we would have dealt with it otherwise but she is now very happy to have a feed after her bath in the nuddy, then into nappy and PJs and into bed with some warm cow juice.

AngelDog Fri 15-Jul-11 22:38:21

Could be working on the 46 week developmental spurt - AKA the second part of the 8-11 month sleep regression. If so, it should improve a bit once she gets to 46 weeks.

My now 18 m.o. will only be settled by bf when he's working on a new developmental leap. It usually improves once the leap is past.

You can read all about it in The Wonder Weeks.

GreenTeapot Sat 16-Jul-11 00:08:43

The maddening thing is, she screams blue murder if I don't feed her but when I do she wants to kick, chat, squirm and generally fart about. So we're now into our third hour of her roaring at me from the cot because I got fed up of her rampaging round the bed. So much for an early night! There's no sleepy option - unconscious or hyperawake is all she's capable of sad

I am fascinated though AngelDog. She started this at 7.5 months and went from being a bit shit at sleeping to being horrendous. She managed 8 hours at 12 weeks despite horrible reflux and gastro stuff! And having had this with DS I'm now convinced it's me doing it wrong hmm

FringeMonkey Sat 16-Jul-11 00:47:55

Oh Lord it's annoying isn't it? When mine get to this stage I'll do anything not to have to put up with it (except quitting bf!). If it's bedtime I usually get them up and let them play until they're tired enough that they'll go to sleep quite fast. In the middle of the night, I call in dh and he will take baby downstairs.

I have trained them (eventually) to allow me to take them off the breast and still cuddle them while they fall into a deep sleep. Have you looked at No cry sleep solution and Sears? They may have some useful suggestions on this sort of thing. I think Dr Jay Gordon also has suggestions that might help under what he writes about night weaning. Worth doing a bit of searching around for inspiration maybe smile? Good luck!

GreenTeapot Sat 16-Jul-11 07:42:36

I should make clear that I didn't leave her to cry for 3 hours, just that she was cycling between roaring and chirping for 3 hours. I wish it was only 3 hours in the end - I'm fairly certain she only slept in 40 minute chunks for the rest of the night. She mostly just rolled and kicked and scratched angry

I'm supposed to be going out with a bunch of friends for my hen do tonight and I'm so tempted to stay in. I'm not sure DP has the patience to cope with her alone for several hours and to be honest I'm so tired I can't be arsed!

This is just a phase, right? Albeit one of several months duration? Because I need it to be over soon.

CountBapula Sat 16-Jul-11 07:56:36

Teapot my DS is nearly 10 months and I've gone back to feeding him back to sleep several times a night. He won't settle any other way at the moment. He has another tooth coming through, which isn't helping. He falls asleep sucking, his latch slips and my nips end up feeling like an old slipper that's been chewed by an over-enthusiastic puppy hmm

He's definitely going through a developmental spurt, and he's always been super-sensitive to them. Have you got an iPhone? You can download the Wonder Weeks app (cheaper than the book, and easy for the sleep-deprived to follow). You tap in your baby's due date and hey presto, it shows you on a little chart where they are in terms of the spurts, and what it means. I checked this morning as DS has been particularly nuts lately, and the chart showed a black cloud with a lightning bolt coming out of it (which basically means, "This week you're in for a complete shit storm").

I'm going back to work just after his first birthday, and apparently there's another one right then - oh joy sad

Hope things improve soon. It sucks (and bites).

CountBapula Sat 16-Jul-11 07:58:42

PS - "There's no sleepy option - unconscious or hyperawake is all she's capable of" - yup, I've got one of those. 'Put your baby down drowsy but awake' - pah! The kid is never drowsy! angry

GreenTeapot Sat 16-Jul-11 08:11:39

Count - so familiar! DS, who's now a kick-in-the,arse off 4, was exactly the same. He now sleeps through about 5 nights in 7. I shall say no more in case it frightens you grin

Haven't got an iPhone but I may get the book. I like the idea of thunderbolt icons though!

The thing is, I'm lying on the sofa looking like I have flu or something while she's tearing around the room throwing cushions, clapping (yesterday's development so still a novelty) and giggling to herself. It's so unfair!

Just realised this should be in sleep. Sorry.

GreenTeapot Sat 16-Jul-11 08:14:21

And how accurate is this book? If it's good I may consider booking some sort of professional baby wrangler for upcoming bad spells. Or at least booking some holiday from work!

Tamdin Sat 16-Jul-11 08:16:19

Oh thank goodness for you ladies. Ds2 is heading this way. He's 6.5 months and last night slept right on top of me and fed/sucked every couple of hours. Totally refuses a dummy at night (obviously because I am a far nicer one!) but will have it for naps during the day.
Just been lurking on the "have I ruined my baby" thread which made me feel even more alone!
Countbapula am off to download that app right now grin

Tamdin Sat 16-Jul-11 08:18:58

Op I have ds1 who is 5.5 and sleeps all night in his own bed but I won't say anymore either for fear of frightening the bejesus out of anyone at the starting off point wink

ZhenXiang Sat 16-Jul-11 08:26:58

Had all this with DD who breastfed to 22 months. I started by playing her lullaby toy during the feed. Then I would stop the feed before she fell asleep and put her down in her cot, read her a story, then turn on lullaby toy whilst I sat by her bed. Eventually progressed to me sitting further and further away from the cot until I was out of the door. Now at 2 I read her story, say goodnight to her and copious teddies, switch on lullaby toy and leave. She talks to her teddies for 15 mins and falls asleep by herself. It did take lots of tears and being firm to get to that stage though, I feel for you it is tough.

CountBapula Sat 16-Jul-11 08:47:04

It seems pretty accurate. It's difficult to get out of the mindset that sleep is a linear process - it starts off shit when they're a newborn, then gets gradually better and better until they sleep through - and the book really helps with that. DS recently had quite a good phase - easy to settle at bedtime, one waking around 3/4 am, feed then straight back to sleep. I fell into the trap of thinking, "Yay, he's finally cracked it! I have some semblance of a life back!" but it was not so - now he's started back with his old shenanigans (although at least it's not 4-5 times a night, which we had from four to eight months).

Tamdin that 'Have I ruined my baby' thread is just surreal, isn't it? confused

Tamdin Sat 16-Jul-11 09:05:55

Yes countbapula other thread is totally alien to me as we co-slept with ds1 and waited for him to move on to wanting his own space.
If I'm honest I had wondered hoped ds2 might be a sleeper as so many seem to describe on other thread but he isn't! Maybe it is me!

pinkytheshrinky Sat 16-Jul-11 09:17:18

It has been this way with all four of mine. They are 10,7 and 2.5 - little ds is 10 months - he went through a stage of self settling and then back again. To be honest I think it does pass. Sometimes my little one sleeps through form about 9 to about5 ish sometimes more and sometimes he does not. The way I look at it is sometimes I sleep well and sometimes I don't and it is the same for them too. I have co-slept with all of them and they have all been in a cot next to the bed for just over 2 years in each case.

Teething or being poorly and growth spurts seems to intensify the need for comfort. For the record all the others are stellar sleepers. It does pass and absolutely no useful advice to give you except well done for breast feeding your child for this long, personally I do think it makes all the difference and I have managed (by default) to raise nice settled happy sleeping children who have all been fed for a long time and have ended up fine.

I do think it is a phase so stick with it, it does get better.

AngelDog Sat 16-Jul-11 22:40:37

IME the Wonder Weeks is spot on - DS's sleep / behaviour was messed up exactly when they predicted it would be.

At 10 months I probably wouldn't bother buying the book as it only goes up to 16 or 17 months, but even if you don't have iphone, you can sign up to a 'leap alarm' on the website where they e-mail you to warn you a fussy stage is coming up. I persuaded my local library to get the book too.

You can read more about sleep & developmental leaps here, here and here.

How they affect your child can vary too. The 12/13 month one was actually not too bad here, despite the 8-11 month ones being pretty horrific.

I've always taken a 'just feed and let DS get on with it' approach, although he's been a frequent waker rather than wanting to stay latched on. I did use NCSS ideas at 7 months which helped - but only till the next developmental leap when it all went pear-shaped again (and stayed that way).

After a developmental leap is the best time to try working on improving things. They can improve on their own though - at 13 months DS suddenly went from waking 3-5 times a night to waking just once (at my bedtime) with no intervention from me.

Now at 18 months he still sleeps much better even though I still offer a feed every time he wakes. The more recent developmental spurts have been much less painful than previous ones. And he now sleeps in the car which he never used to do, so it's all good. smile

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