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Should I just accept the little tyke will never take a bottle? End of tether in sight...

(13 Posts)
Birdsnotbees Fri 15-Jul-11 16:55:08

DD1 is coming up for 5 months. Won't take a bottle - been trying since 8 weeks. I am desperate for a break - she feeds every hour or so during the day & is really clingy - hates pushchair, doesn't nap (& I hate slings - have tried many; they all knacker my back and are in my opinion impractical when out & about with a toddler/shopping etc.).

She did sleep thru but 4 weeks ago started teething so now I'm getting no sleep & no break in the day. At all. Ever.

I am starting to resent her. I can't spend time with 3 yr old DS1 as she's so clingy & usually so grumpy cos she won't do daytime naps. I look after DS1 full-time.

I try every day with a bottle. She doesn't reject it but doesn't know what to do with it. Is there anything else I can try? Should I give up bf and force her onto ff? I don't think I can go on much longer - utterly exhausted.

Plus I've lost all my baby weight and some, and now I'm worried I will continue to lose - despite eating as much as I possibly can.

Any ideas? Please help.

MigGril Fri 15-Jul-11 17:57:22

I have two bottle refussers so no helo there I'm afraid. Although I don't think forceing her onto formula is going to make her less clingy if that is her nature it'll just give you one less tool to use to help seatel her.

At this age you could try a cup instead of a bottle. DS will at 8 months happly take milk out of a cup but it only works for day feeds, he still wants the comfort of me at night.

On the sling note. I have a bad back and still manage to sling DS. It really is a matter of finding the one that suits you best, there like cloths it has to be the right size and type. Took me some time to find one that really works for me but it does really help with a fussy baby. Try looking for a sling libary or try sling meet. You can then try more before you bye one.

peedieworky Fri 15-Jul-11 18:20:27

Hi - my DS started refusing a bottle after a break of a week or so. Prior to that he took one quite happily, but did seem a bit perplexed by it and sometimes seemed to be gargling in EBM. Yesterday I swapped from Avent bottles to the CTN Tommy Tippee ones and I couldn't believe the difference so it may be worth trying if you haven't already? The was he fed was much more like when he feeds from me and there was no gargling. Also, I gave it to him for his night feed so the room was pretty dark so as he felt me close to him and smelt me but wasn't aware of staring at a teat. Might be coincidence but it worked a treat! Good luck!

Birdsnotbees Fri 15-Jul-11 18:32:40

thanks both...have tried 3 slings thus far but it's not just the fact they hurt my back - I hate them. You can't cook with them, carry anything, see your feet, see into your bag, play in the park, lift my toddler son, go shopping. So they are very limited in their usefulness, at least when you have a toddler and groceries/picnics/days out to sort. Sorry to be so negative but it does frustrate me when they're touted as the solution to everything when they just don't work for everybody.

And it is exhausting carrying an extra stone in weight all day without ever being able to put it down - even if the sling does 'fit'. They're surely not meant to be used 12 hours a day and basically that's what DD wants. She won't even let me sit down.

I just want a break. At least on ff someone else can do the feeds. I don't want to stop bf but I really, really don't think I can carry on. It's utterly relentless and it makes me feel so, so alone because no one can help me.

will try the tomee tippy, thank you, ant try it at night, good idea.

peedieworky Fri 15-Jul-11 19:01:56

Not sure if am allowed to say this but I got mine in mothercare yesterday - they have a promotion on TT stuff so much cheaper!

shuckleberryfinn Fri 15-Jul-11 20:05:02

Do you think it's the bottle or the milk? There are some useful videos on youtube showing how to cup feed.

As for the sling, I use a ring sling and can wash up, cook, shop etc all while feeding. I got some good advice from a local lady through here naturalmamas.co.uk/forum/ but if you don't fancy the idea that's ok.

My little one will drink anything from anything as long as I'm not around have you tried that? I mean would you have a big mac if there was a prime fillet next to it?

Um, when my girl was really little we finger fed her once or twice, I don't know if that would work now but it involved her sucking your nice warm finger while syringing a little bit of milk into the side type thing.

I'm racking my brains here but really just want to offer my support.

shuckleberryfinn Fri 15-Jul-11 20:06:08

oh, have you tried dipping the teat in your milk too?

japhrimel Fri 15-Jul-11 21:11:38

Is there anything that could be causing the constant feeding & clinginess? E.g. silent reflux? Presumably if she would give you a break, you wouldn't need bottles so much?

Birdsnotbees Fri 15-Jul-11 22:25:54

thanks all - some really good ideas to try. Pretty sure the clinginess is due to being over tired. If she does nap she'll tolerate a short time on play mat, bouncy chair etc. but her refusal to nap is a whole other thread! But yes if she gave me a break I wouldn't be so upset about feeding.

thanks again, off to bed...

AgathaPinchBottom Sat 16-Jul-11 06:03:16

Hi birds... I'm in similar situation ... My baby is 21 weeks and absolutely refuses to take a bottle. I have to go back to work next week and have been tearing my hair out. But I have come up with a solution. After taking doctor's advice I am giving him baby rice and spoon feeding him formula/breast milk... He adores the spoon. Obviously this takes a while (!) but at least someone else can do it. I have also bought a doidy cup which I am going to try. I will use baby rice/milk on a spoon as one replacement feed which will mean I can be at workidle 6 hour intervals. He has gobbled down the rice and slept a bit longer last night (longer than 3 hours hurray!) good luck.

scaryfairy28 Sat 16-Jul-11 07:44:07

I'm new here and DD is still only 9 weeks so not been there yet but what about the cup you get for 4 months up?

MigGril Sat 16-Jul-11 10:19:20

I'd also advise reading DrSears baby book's, lots of good advice for fussy baby's. And helps you understand why for some odd reasion high need's baby's seem to need more off everything except sleep.

Have you tried a sling you can back carry in? Make's doing the cooking and washing much easier. She's old enough that you should be able to do this now.

Birdsnotbees Sat 16-Jul-11 19:01:40

thanks again for more ideas -had no idea you could start on a cup/spoon etc. this young.

And I'll try the book too. DS1 was a fairly demanding baby too and really didn't sleep at all at night (for a year!) but at least he took a bottle and he'd also go in his pushchair and had one long-ish nap during the day.

I've never tried to impose my will on my babies. I accept and love them for who and what they are - it's something I conciously do because my parents were the opposite. But it's so, so hard at the moment that even on our good days I find myself on tenterhooks, waiting for DD to kick off. It's stupid but the sight of other people's babies, all sleepy and content in their prams, actually makes me cry. I just don't understand what I've done wrong to make both my kids such uncontented babies.

Sorry this has moved on a bit from bf. Thanks again. I know deep down it'll get better, I think I'm just tired right now.

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