how long will I be able to leave my 3 month old for?(24 Posts)
My first OP!
I am expecting my first in December and planning to BF. My husband and I have booked a holiday at the end of March. I think H is COMPLETELY in the dark about what life will be like with a baby.. Not saying I'm an expert but have had some experience with other people's babies so think I at least have a clue.
Anyway we've been talking about plans for the holiday. The accommodation offers babysitters so H is coming up with lots of things we can do as a couple, leaving the baby with them. I am thinking we will not be able to leave baby for more than 1-2 hours at a time (I will need to get him/her onto EBM via bottle at some point as going back to work but not sure whether we will manage this by 3 months).
2 hours sounds realistic, it depends on the time of day because babies tend to cluster feed in the evenings. It also depends on the baby! DD1 would not be left alone at all but DD2 is quite happy with my DH for an hour or so. And finally it depends on you, you might not want to be apart from your baby (which is fine and normal!).
I'd just play it by ear, you can always get a steriliser and bottles if you want to express but don't introduce them too early because it can interfere with getting your supply established. I'd wait 6 weeks at least. There's some info about it here.
Could you get a sling? You can take a 3 month old baby pretty much anywhere, I take my 4 mo DD2 to the pub with me once a week
My DH was the same. Statements such as :
'having a baby won't change my life'
'we'll keep her awake all day so she sleeps all night'
'I'll work from home then we won't need childcare'
were all banded about LOTS before DD arrived .... but he's gone strangely quiet in the last 8 months
but it is nice to have a holiday to look forward to. I agree that a couple of hours is quite possible and it is nice to have a little bit of couple time. If you can pump and your baby will take a bottle then you could maybe manage a little longer.
A sling is a great idea - babies are quite portable and that age and you might not want to leave your baby for long
You may well find that leaving your 3 month old with some random babysitter the hotel has provided doesn't seem like such a great idea at the time. I found it hard enough leaving ds with one of our oldest friends the first time we went out
I'd wait to see what the hotel is really like before you choose to leave the baby with some random stranger in a town you have never been to before... Sorry to not sound more positive here but would you trust its staff/people it knows with what will be your most precious possession? If in doubt, would you just hand someone your wallet or car?
Why cant baby go in a sling or in a moses basket and sleep under the table? If you get to leave your 3mth old for longer than a few mins Id count yourself lucky. Some will, lots wont. Mine wouldn't go for longer than a few secs without wondering where mum was. Also ebf is useful but when it takes so long to express it you might find yourself not bothering, I had great ideas about how Id express a bottle then leave it with grandparents and go to the hairdresser. Never happened once reality took hold!
Lovin every sec though so might sound a bit negative but not really..... :0)
By 3mo it's realistic that your baby should be able to go a couple of hours between feeds.
However, I have to say that I probably wouldn't leave my baby with a hotel/resort baby sitter. Is this holiday going to be in the UK or abroad?
We're going on holiday later this summer with mil and fil when dd will be 10mo. I might be persuaded to leave dd with them at the villa one evening so me and DH can go out for a meal.
Certainly at 3 mo I would have been more inclined to get a sling, babies that age are massively portable, especially if you're bf. One of the joys of the first 6 months imo
Thanks everybody. The holiday is not in this country. Have to agree I'm not 100% about the babysitter idea, my plan is to see how it goes and decide when we get there... He's all 'it'll be fine'. He really wants to go out on a whale watching boat trip, so I wouldn't fancy taking the baby with us!
The baby will be very small still....which means very dependent on his / hee parents. However, that can work out well as they are portable and will sleep anywhere. I would rather take a 3 month old to a posh restaurant than a one year old.
If you are organised with a suitable baby carrier, you can probably do lots of things with your baby with you.
How big is the boat? I've been on a whale watching trip before, it was on a fairly large boat and I'd have been happy to take DD2 in a sling. Could you email the boat company in advance and ask about safety if that's what you're concerned about?
Not to put a downer on the whale watching, but you may also feel you are uncomfortable going somewhere where there is no way you can come back early if there is a problem. A meal or whatnot is more manageable in that sense.
I'm afraid 3 months is a classic age for bottle rejection in EBF babies and my baby wouldn't go more than 90-120 mins during the day max without a feed at that age. She did sleep at night though. I cannot imagine you will be happy to leave baby with resort sitters either. I think your DH needs a bit of a reality check. but don't worry - when the baby comes he will be some in love with him/her I expect all notions of resort sitters will go out the window and he'll spend the whole holiday with baby strapped to his chest!
My DS never, ever took a bottle, fed every 1.5hrs or so, and was/is VERY high-needs BUT at 11 weeks I left him with his aunty (with ebm - which he didn't take ) for 3 hours while I had my highlights done and hair cut. He was fine, glad to see me but fine.
And at 4 months I had to ge to the American Embassy to apply for a visa and they wouldn't let me take DS with me (loooooong story) a d he was fine with DH on his own for 3.5hrs. He slept most of the time and had a MASSIVE feed as soon as I got out.
This of course all my personal experience, you may find you simply don't want to leave your PFB, or that he/she won't simply won't let you. On the flip side, your DC might be quite happy to be left. Just a word of warning, I still won't leave DS (18 months) with a babysitter I don't know very well, you may very well feel the same.
Thanks all for your great advice.. Kind of what I was thinking really. Good to know that you would consider taking your baby on a boat EauRouge. Will definitely just wait and see how it goes.. but will try expressing and giving a bottle before we go to see if he/she takes it.
Thanks again x
Take the baby on the boat in a good sling. DD had her first boat trip at not much older.
I still wouldn't leave her with a strange babysitter at 7mo. She freaks out enough as it is if we leave her with my SIL (who she adores) and she wakes up in the evening!
Plus, assuming you'll still be bfing at 3 months in (hope so for you, but it is hard work - wonderful though!) you would need to express if you left LO for more than a couple of hours, so it's really not worth the hassle.
yeah i do plan to still be breastfeeding at 3 months so perhaps taking baby with us on the boat is the best plan.. thanks again!
at that age we have had some lovely trips, meals out in restaurants, etc, with babies either in a sling or asleep in a car seat under the table.
the holiday will be great but it will be a case of taking it everywhere with you rather than leaving it with babysitters.
you'll just be creating extra stress if you get all determined to make the baby leavable by 3 months. It can of course be done (women used to only get 6 weeks maternity leave, after all) but why force it when you don't have to?
So for instance you could try the EBM thing early and if it works, fine, but if not, you don't have to.
do i need to worry about water for sterilising if using EBM - we are going to be in Asia where tap water is not drinkable.
Yes you will still need to sterilise the bottle/teat to give the ebm in but can use cold water with sterilising tablets which are easy to pack in the case. I'm in Singapore but have travelled with DS around SE Asia quite a bit although he'd never take a bottle so it was only when he was weaning and we needed to sterilise his crockery/cutlery that I needed to worry about it.
Yes really. With EBM you don't have to sterilise as long as you can wash everything really well in hot soapy water, but the water should be drinkable standard. Milton tablets in a pot are definitely the easiest way to sterilise - we've always done it this way.
can you use cold tap water for sterilising, given that its not drinkable? or does the sterilising kill off any bugs anyway?
Yes should be fine although we've used boiled water and sterilized that before too. I don't know if it's routinely given in the uk but you might want to consider rotavirus vaccination if you are going to be using swimming pools etc.
thanks everybody for your great advice, have often lurked but never posted, will certainly be doing more in future when baby here!
I know very very few parents of 3 month olds who would consider levaing them with a stranger except in a dire emergency -breastfeeding babies even less likely. Can you just nod and smile to dh and then choose something more realistic when the time comes ?
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