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stupid things I've heard

(30 Posts)
shuckleberryfinn Wed 06-Jul-11 11:59:40

This weeks winner is "she's using you as a dummy". I'd actually never thought about that before but isn't a dummy a me substitute and not the other way around?

worldgonecrazy Wed 06-Jul-11 12:07:03

You are correct, the full original term for a dummy was a "dummy tit", so it is a fake tit, not something used to shut babies up and make them dumb.

tiktok Wed 06-Jul-11 12:10:22

You can say 'she's not using me as a dummy, she's using me as her mummy.'

Then you can tell them to get stuffed (or other dismissive phrase as you prefer smile ).

TheBluthCompany Wed 06-Jul-11 12:28:01

Heard this recently "you need to leave him to cry [with hunger] or he wont learn how to communicate" hmm

So apparently I shouuld sit there, watching my baby communicate his hunger, until he cries because I haven't responded to his communication

thesurgeonsmate Wed 06-Jul-11 12:43:57

Oh Bluth, can that be true? I've heard everything now. You might as well say "You need to leave him to cry or he wont learn that communication is completely pointless." Isn't that what heppens to severly neglected babies - they just get all quiet and passive?

pyjamalover Wed 06-Jul-11 13:02:21

I also love 'you're spoiling him/her' to people who give their young babies lots of cuddles!

MedicalEd Wed 06-Jul-11 13:04:47

One I had was that crying was good for DD because it 'expands the lungs'.
Ok, so the breathing she has been doing so far has been through tiny weany lungs hmm

kimberlina Wed 06-Jul-11 13:06:48

Someone told me that crying is good 'exercise' for babies !!!!

Likesshinythings Wed 06-Jul-11 13:10:00

My mil mainained that if we allowed DS to yawn, he would dislocate his jaw. I ponted out that he was a baby, not a boa constrictor!

TheBluthCompany Wed 06-Jul-11 13:35:09

How on earth were you supposed to stop the baby yawning shock

mil has given me many useful tips such as dipping a dummy in port which she did when dh 'was being particulary obnoxious' sad

people are bonkers, especially MILs!

BaronessBomburst Wed 06-Jul-11 13:36:58

My DH keeps complaining that DS is using me as a dummy and that we ought to give him one so that I don't have to BF him so often. DS is 17 months FFS!!! I'm NOT about to start given him a dummy now.

<bangs head against wall>

TheBluthCompany Wed 06-Jul-11 13:43:35

Exactly surgeonsmate, it didn't even make any kind of sense.

Likesshinythings Wed 06-Jul-11 13:45:27

Apparently you are supposed to put two fingers under the baby's chin to stop their mouth opening when they yawn. Can you imagine how irritating it would be if someone did that to you?!

MooMooFarm Wed 06-Jul-11 13:47:57

An (older) relative told me that you must never tickle a baby's feet as it makes them go maaaaaaaad!

marge2 Wed 06-Jul-11 13:56:10

I know this woman from my ante natal class years ago who used to drive me nuts with the crap she came out with.
examples 1) You can tell the sex of a baby at the 12 week scan because they can 'count the chromosomes' on the scan WTF??? I tried to explain they can;t count chromosomes on a fuzzy image on a screen, but she wouldn;t believe me. 2) Germolene makes you faint if you put it on your skin???? 3) Balding men should not shave their heads ( you know, the V short hair fashion for baldies), because the hair knows you don't want it and it will stop growing. She is raving!!

MoonFaceMamaaaaargh Wed 06-Jul-11 14:06:31

next doors mil told them to put the baby's head in the gas oven to "help it sleep"...well it hadn't done next door's dh any harm! (i would beg to differ on that point but there you go) shock

nickelbabe Wed 06-Jul-11 14:11:56

moonface - that's the worst thing i've ever heard sad and shock and sad

MooMooFarm Wed 06-Jul-11 14:35:05

Moonface that has really disturbed me. Surely they were 'joking'? hmm

MoonFaceMamaaaaargh Wed 06-Jul-11 15:08:45

they were laughing in a "you won't believe what his mum said..." way...but said mum was adament (sp) it had worked for her. shock

TheRealMBJ Wed 06-Jul-11 15:23:58

moon shockshockshock

How're you getting on btw?

MockingbirdsNotForSale Wed 06-Jul-11 16:02:19

When my DD was 5 days old she was sleeping in the afternoon for a really long time and my ILs were visiting. She'd been asleep for over 4 hours so I decided that I should wake her for a feed as she's lost 11% of her body weight and I was trying to get her to feed as much as possible. At that point my FIL told me that my DD was controlling me and I shouldn't let that happen.....hmm

msbuggywinkle Wed 06-Jul-11 16:09:08

In neonatal with DD1 it was the 2006 heatwave and a kind nurse came round with ice pops for the older children, she passed a few to me. A different nurse told me I shouldn't eat them as they would turn my milk different colours...confused

EauRouge Wed 06-Jul-11 16:25:23

One of my favourites was 'dress the baby in clothes during the day and in pyjamas at night so they know when to sleep'. It's a mystery how the human race coped before the invention of nightwear. And there was me thinking we were naturally diurnal!

MoonFaceMamaaaaargh Wed 06-Jul-11 16:44:12

These are hillarious!

Mbj i'm well thank you! Bit tired and starting to feel the strain of the bump when carrying ds, or trying to get up etc...but other than that i'm fine. How are you? smile

TheRealMBJ Wed 06-Jul-11 16:51:28

Good thanks smile.

Will post on t'other thread...

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