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I really wish I loved it!

(12 Posts)
greeneone12 Sat 02-Jul-11 08:44:02

I see so many ladies on here saying how amazing feeding it and how they adore it. What's wrong with me? 8 months on and I literally can not wait until DD takes a cup enthusiastically. I am counting down the months until I can stop and I am sure it has affected my overall enjoyment of her in these past few months.

Don't get me wrong I love her, and love seeing her little changes every day but the relentless nature of feeding exclusively has really been challenging. I just wonder why it hasn't felt lovely and squishy for me like it is for so many other people.

We are now down to 4-5 feeds a day but still I feel a bit sad.


OnlyWantsOne Sat 02-Jul-11 08:46:03

you are not alone

Look on here for my thread called help I want to stop breast feeding

greeneone12 Sat 02-Jul-11 08:48:02

My friend (a few months back now) went cold turkey to get her LO to take a bottle. This involved using a syringe to make sure she was hydrated enough with water while she refused the bottle. I just can't do that sad

OnlyWantsOne Sat 02-Jul-11 09:30:48

god that seems very severe sad

KaraStarbuckThrace Sat 02-Jul-11 09:52:05

Awww don't feel bad for feeling bad!

I must comfess I did go through a stage with DS when I didn't enjoy bfing, probably when he was around 9-12 months. However I did keep on ansd he naturally reduced his feeds and I felt a lot happier. There was no way I could wean him off the breast at that stage without causing us both considerable distress.

However if you do want to stop feeding him, first of call well done for making it to 8 months - that is still very uncommon to feed for that long!
There are ways you can reduce the feeds down, to make them more manageable, using distraction, ensure you are offering lots of variety in food, perhaps offer formula in a cup? How is she doing with cups? Have you tried a Doidy cup?

LoveBeingAbleToNamechange Sat 02-Jul-11 09:56:42

It's alot of work and it's all on you. I stopped at 8 months and remember being a bit disappointed that dd didn't seem that bothered blush. You've done a great job and you shouldn't feel guilty.

Pesephone Sat 02-Jul-11 19:34:22

Have you thought about what it is that you don't like, or what might be peventing you from enjoying it as much as you would like to?

dietcokeandwine Sat 02-Jul-11 23:41:59

OP there is nothing wrong with have done and are doing a great job but BF can be all-consuming and exhausting, even if you are enjoying it let alone when you aren't.

I stopped BF both my babies around the 7 month mark and was sooo ready to do so by that stage. You are honestly not alone. I loved the newborn feeding stage, but by six months I was starting to find it a frustrating and miserable experience. Didn't enjoy BF an 'older' baby at all. So please don't feel it's just you. Longer term BF is not for everyone, even if it is seen as the 'ideal'. I honestly felt like I had a new lease of life on giving up, and I started enjoying motherhood all over again.

I think you have done amazingly well to have EBF for this long and whatever happens from here you should be really proud...

All I can say on the 'getting her on a cup' thing is keep trying - keep persevering - what your friend did in terms of cold turkey sounds extremist and I couldn't have done that either, but many many people do manage to persevere and get babies taking bottles or cups without resorting to that kind of thing.

Wafflepuss Sat 02-Jul-11 23:45:20

8 months? You're a breastfeeding hero! Most of us don't manage anything like that long - you've done a great job so don't feel sad or guilty about anything.

Fernier Sat 02-Jul-11 23:49:31

I havent loved it, 11 months so far its been fine, no problems really but loved it? no.
On the loving it thread i said the money i saved which is true, i had three formula fed babies before my breastfed one and most of the things listed as reasons to love breastfeeding (health benefits aside of course) i found to be true for them as well. I will breastfeed dc5 when he/she comes along but not through any LOVE of it is you see what i mean.

greeneone12 Sun 03-Jul-11 11:54:28

pesephone I think its the fact that over the last 8 months I have literally been there for every feed. Thing is I really can't moan as it was my choice to have a child and she is my life now. I am just so angry that we stuffed things up with the bottle. If I could skip just the occasional feed I think I would feel better about it all. I am grateful she is growing and thriving so that is the main thing. Just wish I loved it rather than saw as something that is annoying - I don't hate and dread every feed. She has started to realise whats going on now and I never wanted to be feeding when she understood that boobs = milk (just my personal preference). Will persevere with the cup and thanks for all the positive comments.

Pesephone Sun 03-Jul-11 15:07:20

Thanks for explaining. Do you think it might help you to examine why it is you feel this way. At 8 months she would most likely be fine if you expressed a feed and allowed somebody else to give it via an open cup. You don't need to use a tippy cup. Have to thought about trying her with a Doidy cup that way you could feed her go out and have a coffee, or go shopping with friends or just sit in the park alone for a few hours and somebody could sit with her on their knee and hold the cup for her. and then you feed again on your return. You could probably get several hours free time this way, perhaps make it a weekly thing?

I hope you don't mind me saying though I can't help thinking about the reason you are not loving it. Is it possibly due to your feelings about her asociating boobs with milk, and your own discomfort with this fact. Perhaps examining your own mixed feelings about breasts and their role in your life may help you understand and accept the negative feelings regarding breast feeding.
I know some mums struggle with other peoples comments about frequency of feeds, them being unable to do things such as nights away and a general negative and unacepting attitude. Sometimes negative feelings can stem from a partner, maybe one who see's breasts as for sex, or as"his" I have known many ladies say their husband refuses to touch them untill the baby weans and that this causes them to feel unatractive to him. I'm not saying any of these things are true in your case but just putting it out there as several causes of women not connecting with breastfeeding in theway others do.

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