I don't get feeding lying down.(28 Posts)
I'm always hearing people say they bf lying down and get loads of sleep this way. How? I've been trying lately (previously used cradle hold) as I seem to have fast let down, making my 6 wk old v windy and apparently lying down makes it easier for them to deal with the flow.
i thought it might help me during the nights too. But the position is so uncomfortable, arms all in the wrong position and nowhere to put them, I'm never on my side comfortably (I like lying in the recovery position, almost face down) nor on my back. And anyway, I have to sit up to wind her and then faff changing sides, meaning pulling her across me and repositioning. Do people just feed from one side all night, cos I keep hearing people say they just lie there and the baby latches on and helps themself and they hardly notice? Do they mean older children? Do they not burp them?
When ds was little (certainly under 4 months) I'd have to wake up at the start of the feed to make sure he was on properly, and then doze off during the feed. It's more like 6 months before it was truly self service for us!
I never winded ds at night, and very rarely during the day. I started off alternating sides each feed, and then for a while I did just feed from one side at night but I wouldn't necessarily recommend it.
It's not the most comfortable position to sleep in, but better than sitting up. I would lie with my bottom arm at right angles to my body above ds's head, and my top leg bent at right angles below him.
I seriously damaged my back breastfeeding lying down I still get pins and needles now and it cost me a fortune in Chiropractic.
If I don't wind her so possets and screams for hours. I suppose it's marginally better than sitting, but in no way comfortable!
I generally fed from the left first and then rolled on to my right side. This meant I started with DD2 between DH and I and ended with her on the much cooler out side edge. I sleep on my right side so we could sleep like this, I just gently wrapped my arm round her. She never tried to fall out.
But please remember 6 weeks is very young, the more strength you baby has in their neck the easier it gets.
but you had to hoik the baby up over you when you rolled over, no?
I could never do it. Even after six months, we got milk all over the bed and DS, and he would get wind.
Maybe it's just me.
I always had the baby on the outside edge (with cot pushed up against or bed rail) and if I needed to feed from the top side I shuffled back a bit and leaned over so that they could feed while I slept (I am a F/G cup in the early days though ).
I would basically lie down on my left side with the left arm around the baby, latch her on then gradually move my arm so she was just supported by the bed. Still kept my arm around her though.
When it was time to switch sides I would kind of get up on my knees, scoot the baby across the bed then lie down on the opposite side of her! Though as she got older I managed to figure out how to feed from either breast while lying on one side. Oh, and I never needed to wind her in the night.
I was quite paranoid about making sure there were absolutely no pillows on the bed except for the one under my head, duvet was pulled right down to my waist, and DD was right in the middle of the king size bed so not at risk of falling off. Once you get the hang of it it is brilliant though! DD2 is 1 now and still comes into bed for her morning feed
so I can go back to sleep
Hope that helps.
DD2 and I did this for about 20 weeks and it worked well, she would feed from one side then we'd fall asleep. When she woke for the next feed I would slide her across the bed and I would change sides by climbing over her. I had to wake up anyway to adjust my top and bra, never got to the point where I could have slept topless, too much mess. However, once she started feeding I would fall back over pretty quickly.
My top arm would lay gently over her to support her back when she was little and the bottom arm would be up and supporting my head. Unfortunately still lie with my arms above my head and get sore shoulders and it took a while to get dd2 out of the habit if being in our bed but that was our fault rather than bfing in bed.
See, I have small boobs and can't see how on earth I'd do both sides without turning us both over and I can't get my arms comfy...I know where they're supposed to go but it's not comfortable.
and I HAVE TO wind her, she's very windy. If she falls asleep without winding she'll be awake screaming her nut off within half an hour and then she's really hard to settle. So, for me, although during the feed I am at least horizontal...it's not much less hassle than sitting up really.
My sil could never feed lying down, they just couldn't get comfy with it, however it came naturally to us. I think it might be that its just not for you, especially is you have to wind her.
If its not working for you then don't do it. There will be loads of things like this that other people think are magical solutions to problems but don't seem to have any effect for you and your LO. Leave it for now and maybe try again when your LO is a bit bigger, or my guess is you will have worked out your own solution by then. Try feeding sitting up but leaning back a bit instead to try and slow the flow.
FWIW I have huge norks and could never manage feeding lying down comfortably, still can't and DS is 8mo. Now he's in his own room and I manage to wake up (at 4am ish usually), walk into his room, pick him up, feed, lay him down,go back to my room and get back into my bed all in a semi-stupor which I can hardly remember in the morning so it doesnt really interrupt my sleep at all.
I feed lying down and for me it works really well. When dd3 was tiny I would cradle her in my arm and lie on my side to feed. I never winded her in the night, nor much in the day so it was great for us. Now she is 10m I lie with my bottom arm under the pillow on my side and she latches on herself.
OTOH with dd1 I could never feed lying down.
If you are worried about fast flow then how about taking her off as you 'let down' then put her back on when the flow slows.
If you are not comfortable lying down then don't do it. Night feeds are tiring enough without making yourself uncomfortable. Maybe find a comfy chair to feed in
I don't feel the let down is the problem, suddenly she's gasping and choking so I take her off and then I'm dripping like a tap, so I let it slow before putting her back on. I can manage a feed lying down and it does help if I'm really tired, just not sure how people manage all night feeds like that.
Although we're not in the same bed anyway as she's so windy she grunts and snorts all night and I can't sleep so I'm in the next room anyway, so we were never going to manage the whole self service thing anyway. I know you're supposed to have them in the room for SIDS but that just means I get no sleep EVER.
Feeding lying down became easier for us the longer we did it. At first I found co-sleeping v uncomfortable but my body seems to have got used to it. Ds is now 8 months.
I DO turn over, but it's a complete non-issue, honest!
I start the night curled around ds one side. When he wakes I sit up, scoop him across to the other side and then lie him down again, let him latch on and go back to sleep again. I'm awake for all of a minute each time, as is he.
When they get a bit older you can also feed them from the top boob, even with fairly small ones, cos they're a lot bigger and have better neck control.
It's certainly not for everyone, but for me it's been a lifesaver as I actually get some sleep nowadays! Re the winding thing - I did wind him when he was tiny but as they grow it becomes less of an issue. I haven't winded him since about 4 months.
I agree, if it's not working for now then maybe wait and try again in a month or two. It never worked brilliantly for me but was great for those nights when I was desperate to at least lie down. We never got to the help yourself stage. We had a bedside cot to the right of the bed, with DH on my left. When DS woke I would pick him up and feed him on the left side sitting up first. Then for the right side I would lie down and latch him on. I would get DH to shuffle right up behind me so I could lean on him and relax rather than having to balance on my side. The trouble then came an hour or two later, with DH and DS both asleep right next to me, when I would stir and want a bit of space and have to prod DH until he rolled over!
Astonishingly I now kind of miss those nights now that DS has been in his own room and sleeping through for the past month or so. It really doesn't last forever!
I don't do it all the time and I generally don't like co-sleeping but with DD if she wakes 4.30-5ish I bring her in and lie her next to my boob. She takes a bit of a drink and then generally falls asleep with her cheek resting on it! I sort of scoot backwards a bit and doze until DPs alarm goes at 6. I can't properly sleep but its better than nothing. Also, beware of hoiking her over you to the other side. Did that this morning and got a torrent of warm, just ingested milk all over my neck . You have to position her quite a long way down the bed from where you are so she is level with your boob and you should then have room for your arm to sort of go over the top of her head. Play around with the height of your pillow - might help you get comfy.
At 19 weeks I can just about get it to work if I'm desperate for a nap, but I could never sleep the whole night like that. I find it far too uncomfortable and like you can't get in a position I'd want to sleep in. And she ends up popping off and I have to relatch. It's much easier just to hoik the pillows up behind me and sit up in bed.
I couldn't do it in the early days, but I think DS started doing this at about 9m. He's now 21m, and it's the only way I feed. I only do a feed in the early hours/ morning now though.
I stay laying on one side, and kindof lean over more with a cusion behind my back for support when he changes sides.
I've got quite big knockers, which I think helps.
The first couple of times, I lay down and had DH hook bub on for me. She was a similar age, I think. It definitely lessened the choking and spluttering but it did take some work. I wouldn't have managed it by myself without the help of the breastfeeding support group tbh, do you have anything like that near you?
The midwife told me that some women were able to feed from both breasts while lying on one side, then looked at the size of me and went hmmmm. So I moved lo from the edge to the middle of the bed every feed. Despite her being a spew baby it was much better than feeding upright. Then at 6 months she was big enough that I could lean over and my second boob would reach. Really, the bigger she gets the easier it is (13 months now).
I didn't manage it until dd was about 5 months. It saved my sanity though as between 4 and 6 months she was feeding two hourly through the night. I lay on my side with the underneath arm curled up so my ear is on my shoulder and the rest of my arm curled round her head then use other arm to hold dd. I bend my upper leg to stop her sliding down the bed when asleep. To feed from the other side I lean over more and dangle upper boob in her mouth so we didn't have to shift.
I couldn't because my boobs were too small .
I did try co sleeping, but was so worried I would either roll on top of DD or the covers were too warm. I couldn't relax or get to sleep at all, so it was back to the cot. It works for some people but not for me.
i never got the hang of it in the early days either. i gave up trying but at 3 months tried again and it was a lifesaver. but i still had to get ds to sit up for winding him after a feed. and i spent months switching sides repeatedly in teh night until i found out about leaning over for the other boob!
so basically give it time.
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