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Just about ready to throw in the towel...

(16 Posts)
ebmummy Thu 23-Jun-11 12:55:25

I posted here a few days ago about suffering from a really slow let-down for the past month (ds is over 16 weeks)... The past few days have been intolerable sad.. Was forced to give a bottle of ebm last night after he screamed the house down cos the milk just wasn't flowing (I try not to do this too often to aviod nipple confusion), and even though am trying to express every 2-3 hours, not yielding very much. Just at my wit's end. Really would devastate me giving up bf altogether, but am making myself ill with the anxiety. I'm also hating the fact that it's preventing me enjoying ds-I'm never gonna get these days back...

This morning spent half an hour crying my eyes out trying to get let-down whilst ds looked on at me in astonishment, the poor little mite. I hate the fact that I'm getting so whiny about it-it's all I ever think about, but part of the reason is the pressure I feel from dh, my in-laws, the hv, gp etc to ensure I bf till 6 months. It's weird, when I was pregnant, I thought I'd give bf my best shot but if it didn't happen I wouldn't beat myself up about it. But post-birth, it's almost like it's become an obsession!! I know breast is best, but I really think more people would be able to breastfeed if there wasn't so much external pressure..I really do feel if I do end up giving him formula, I have failed as a woman and as a mother. I think though that I'm MADE to feel that way. Apologies for another long-winded post. Just need to vent sad

Cosmosis Thu 23-Jun-11 13:01:31

sad have you tried calling any of the helplines to talk this over? I really think you should, I think you need a proper conversation about this rather than on here sad

ebmummy Thu 23-Jun-11 13:04:55

Cosmosis, have spoken in depth to LLL and my local breastfeeding support group, which I go to every week. And my hv, who doesn't seem to think it's a problem-she keeps harping on about 'mind over matter'... I just don't know what's gone wrong-I was enjoying it SO much a month ago, and we were doing great when it all suddenly went tits-up (pun intended)..

worldgonecrazy Thu 23-Jun-11 13:09:03

There is a really tricky growth spurt around now, it lasts a few weeks too. You have not failed, you are just in need of chocolate cake and a glass of wine.

When your LO is crying at the breast, try and think of it as him putting his order in for the next couple of days. Just keep putting him to booby as often as you can, even if he is not due a feed, and you will get through this. If you are stressed then you will have trouble expressing, and expressing is NEVER a good indication of what milk you are producing.

You may also notice some sleep regression at this stage, so be warned. But it does pass and you will get through it.

Good luck.

Cosmosis Thu 23-Jun-11 13:20:29

can you pin point when it started happening? do you think there was some sort of trigger?

I think now it's probably happening becuase you are so (understandably) upset about it - have you thought about hypnotherapy?

world I don't think the OP is having trouble expressing, iirc once the let down comes, supply is plentiful - it's getting the let down that is the issue, either expressing or when bfing.

ebmummy Thu 23-Jun-11 13:23:03

cosmo, no I haven't. Is it effective? There was no trigger. Literally woke up with it one day. Have a fab relationship with dh, adore ds..Just overtired some days but no more so than other new mums. That's what is so hard to understand, why it all went pear-shaped..? x

Cosmosis Thu 23-Jun-11 13:28:55

I think it might be worth a try. I’ve not had it myself, but my DH had it and he found it very helpful indeed. Have a look here for therapists in your area.

I think now, even if there was something else behind it, your upset over the issue is really a huge part of the problem. If each time you go to feed or express you are already tense and frightened that it will not work, you won’t get a let down, and then it gets worse for next time.

MoonFaceMamaaaaargh Thu 23-Jun-11 13:30:19

sad i think it is definatly worth getting further opinions on this. It doesn't round like anyone has really been able to help you yet. I'm sorry you are having a rough time.

TheRealMBJ Thu 23-Jun-11 16:20:08

May I ask if anything has changed in the last couple of weeks? Have you started any new medication or a routine? Has life become busier in any way? Is you DS teething or poorly perhaps?

I agree that it would be worth speaking to someone else or to the LLL leader again as there definitely seems to be something up and it is unusual for bf to become more difficult at this age?

ebmummy Thu 23-Jun-11 16:49:04

TheRealMBJ, nothing has happened in my life, but ds has started salivating like a shire horse of late, so think he might be teething. He's otherwise quite jolly, so didn't put it down to this specifically...

TheRealMBJ Thu 23-Jun-11 16:58:07

It may be that he is experiencing some teething pain while suckling. You could try some bonjela before a feed (or even some calpol, I found that bonjela was almost homeopathic) otherwise a cold teething ring to help numb his gums.

japhrimel Thu 23-Jun-11 20:08:21

I'd second the suggestion of hypnotherapy. I used Natal Hypnotherapy when pregnant and for DD's birth and used the breathing and some of the imagery to help me with expressing when DD was in SCBU. I found it helped with letdown when feeding DD too.

It really does sound like you're getting in a vicious cycle - the more you stress about this, the worse it will get. If you're getting so upset, try stopping. Have a cup of tea or a glass of wine, maybe get into the bath with LO if your OH is around, and chill.

Cosmosis Fri 24-Jun-11 10:39:57

how are things to day ebmummy?

ebmummy Sat 25-Jun-11 02:17:35

cos, just posted under my previous thread! Bit hit and miss. Yesterday was lovely cos breastfed all day and was really positive. But the feed this morning just wasn't happening! Poor ds sucked for an eternity, and nothing happened. So gave him some ex bm, and expressed. Gonna try again at the next feed. Basically have decided to drag myself along for as long as I can till I get to the 6 month mark. Was considering hiring a hospital grade pump and exclusively pumping if things get too much. Have a medela swing, but takes ages on that...

Cosmosis Sat 25-Jun-11 11:46:43

well at least you have had some hits, that is good smile keep persevering smile

ebmummy Sat 25-Jun-11 12:45:56

Will do cosmo. If anything, because it's so convenient in the middle of the night, which's unfortunately where my problem mainly manifests itself. I'm starting to lose the fear of not getting let down though. As another mum said, just to take it one feed at a time..

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