All those still BF'ing after 6 months can you share your experiences please(19 Posts)
DS is nearly 8 months and was EBF until we started solids. He's a resolute bottle refuser, and neither a sippy cup nor a cup will entice him to have formula or EBM
I'm really not enjoying BF'ing, DS scratches at my boobs, pinches them, fidgets throughout feeds (dark quiet room doesnt help) and his 2 bottom teeth sometimes cause discomfort whilst he's feeding. I'd love to stop BF'ing but even refusing to feed DS and offering a bottle didn't work, he went 10/11 hours before i gave in (he was eating solids and drinking water though)
Not sure where to go from here, continue BF'ing despite hating it or to go cold turkey. Any advice or experiences would be greatly received.
Oh, it's a pain in the arse when they scratch and pinch, isn't it? My DS also thinks it's hilarious to poke his fingers into my mouth while feeding. Even funnier is when I say "Ow".
He's 14 months now and still going strong- I still love it, despite the poking and pinching! Really sorry to hear you're not enjoying it. I don't know what to suggest. I take it he will drink water from a cup?
DD 10 months does this. Sometimes I wear a necklace she can play with instead - helps. Or some other kind of dangly toy to keep her amused. Her teeth cause discomfort when they come through but then she adjusts her latch and we are ok again so this issue should get better for you.
DS2 is 22m, and can be quite fidgety, sometimes is a bit lazy with his latch, and will sometimes scratch or pinch. I tend to bite his fingernails (still easier than clippers) when he's feeding, as I notice they need doing when his strokes / scratches start to hurt. He also likes to stick his hand down my top while having a cuddle, or while feeding, and pinch my nipple.
I put up with a certain amount of this, but if it's hurting, I'll move his hand away, and if he keeps doing it, I'll break his latch. Usually that's enough of a signal for him to stop, and I can let him continue feeding.
I fed DS1 until he was nearly 4 and really enjoyed it. Don't enjoy it so much with DS2, but it's very important to him, so I'm sticking with it - but more and more on my terms (ie, not every time he asks for it, and when I've had enough, I take him off).
DS ten months does the scratching/pinching thing especially when tired, regular naps help also feeding him lying down on our sides, perhaps cause he's only got one hand free?
I love feeding my LO (now 9 months old) but she too scratched and pinched for months and still does occasionally, though because I'm now only feeding her morning and evening when she's sleepy, she tends to be all snuggly and less scratchy! Use clothing or a cloth/towel to cover your chest/breastbone area and file baby's sharp fingernails!
Oh you poor thing
I hate the pinching thing and went through a hating BFing phase, but I'm working on stopping it and it's working. Nursing necklaces really helped us.
If you sorted out the pinching and teeth problem would you want to stop still? Do you feel that they're why you've had enough or is it just the right time now anyway?
They pinch/twiddle/nip through instinct, it stimulates letdown and is a useful tool for continuing bfing. But generally it is really bloody annoying. I had to restrain dd's hand to stop her doing it. She would try and try and try and try. She was fed till 3.5 and never stopped trying to twiddle.
Do you want to tackle the behaviour and continue feeding or are you really wanting to stop?
DD1 is 2.8yo and goes through phases like this. It doesn't last and things go back to being easy. Things like nursing necklaces, BF somewhere quiet with no distractions or reading a story as you BF might be worth a go.
It's OK to not like BF all the time and it's OK to stop if you really hate it that much. If you do want to stop then it's worth talking to a BF counsellor so that you don't run into problems with engorgement etc. Don't go cold turkey though.
DD is 8 months and I'm lucky in that she will take a bottle, even when she hasn't had one for ages (we use Tommee Tippee closer to nature slow flow). She's pinching too and I wear a t-shirt with a collar which helps. Also I wrap her free hand in a muslin which she finds frustrating but I find a relief! Most annoying is when she gets a tiny bit of skin on my arm and practices her fine motor skills by rolling it between finger and thumb...it really hurts!
Oh yes, that pinching the little bit of skin and rolling it between finger and thumb... I hate that with a passion!
I do find that being able to calm DD, get her to sleep, and reconnect with her through feeding is worth the things I dislike though
Thanks for all the responses.
I think for me personally I would continue with BF'ing, but only if i could also rely on DS taking a bottle when necessary. I'm finding the pressure of being the only one who can do certain parts of DS's routine such as bedtime quite stressful, especially when I may have to work in the evenings in order to limit any childcare costs we have.
In my own mind as well (i know this isn't necessarily true at all) i feel like BF'ing has contributed to DS's terrible sleep; and in my exhausted state I feel like giving him a bottle at bedtime would help limit his expectation of BF in the night and would allow DP to get involved in the night shift (at the mo DS wont settle for DP at night at all) I have tried the techniques in NCSS to help DS's sleep but they dont seem to be working.
EauRouge I just feel like i cant stop when i know DS wont feed from a bottle,yes he's eating well and drinking water but at 8 months my understanding is that he's still going to need BM/formula to supplement his solids.
Arrghhh I've a pincher/scratcher too. DD's 9 and a bit months and I have been feeling a bit fed up with breastfeeding her too.
She never seems particularly keen but I think it's down to teething and being distracted.
She needs to pinch my skin to be able to fall asleep. It's awful.....
I think that when she gets to a year I won't be constantly worried about her getting enough breastmilk. Then hopefully I can be a bit more laid back about it when she refuses!
You say ds won't settle for dp at night. What do think would happen if you didn't have a breastfeed to offer at that time? Perhaps he wouldn't setlle for you either? I know, I'm playing devil's advocate a bit. Does it help to see bf as something that does the job, rather than the root of the problem. Yes you'd prefer if he took a bottle but he doesn't. Giving up bfing might just make it all the harder.
On the other hand you don't have to continue if you really hate it, he's had lots of great milk from you. But you need a plan of what to do then. BF support groups could help with this I think.
And yes the pinching / scratching is a pain in the arse (not literally thankfully - he can't reach that far!). At night I have to lie on my lower arm and crane my head back if I want any skin left on my elbow and my teeth ungroomed by little fingers. He doesn't know its annoying so I try and live with it, while doing all the "Gentle, gentle" stuff.
My 10 month old won't take milk from a bottle/cup at the moment (he used to but has started refusing in the last couple of months). I don't feed him to sleep anyway, but if I'm away at bedtime then he just has to have a big dinner and go to bed without milk. I can't force him to take a bottle, but I can't put my life on hold to feed him every night either. It doesn't seem to do him any harm.
I can sympathise, as dt2 is a scratcher/pincher. In either cradle or rugby hold I pin his lower arm out of reach by lying it parallel along his body so he lies on it, iyswim. then if I have a spare arm I let him play with my hand with his other arm. if he fidgets too much I take him off and wait till he's hungry/calmer to try again.
re sleep: how do you settle him? I have away moved from feeding to sleep by starting patting them and saying the same sleepy phrase whilst feeding, to rocking whilst patting/sleepy phrase, till they now go to sleep in cots (still patting/sleepy phrase). I'm not convinced it has made my life easier as they still wake frequently in the night, but it means in theory dp can settle them too.
I found that the pinchy, scratchy, teethiness calmed down. If you're only away from him for a shirt time, then refusing the odd bottle won't do any harm.
I can recommend removing yourself from the bedtime routine, though DS was quite a bit older when we did this. I gradually stopped feeding him to sleep and then had DH put him to bed. He was still fed on demand the rest of the time, but I was not the bedtime routine. Very freeing.
I found BF improved from 6m onwards, and i enjoyed it more and more. Now he has more teeth and my supply is dwindling etc etc i am thinking of stopping, especially as he's nearly 1.
I found my DS would pinch or bite at about 6m, almost to test the waters so to speak. He doesn't do it anymore at 11m and probably stopped this a while ago. I found saying "no" firmly and detaching him and turning around and ignoring him a little, then re-latching him and continuing as if nothing had happened seemed to curb the "inquisitive" behaviour!
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