Toddler wants to start BF again when new baby arrives! Noooooooo(6 Posts)
DD now 2.7 was weaned in first trimester of present pregnancy, was only getting bedtime feed, after it got too uncomfortable for me.
She takes a keen interest in the growing bump that is her soon to be sister, and has made several comments lately about my breasts "is there milk in there?", "will baby have booba (pet name for BF)?" then the clincher "and me too". She looks at me all appealingly. I am torn, she loved BF but was getting so little out each feed I ended it by explaining now she was a big girl and ate food I was not making enough milk anymore and she could have warm milk in her soft spout sucky cup. She has what she calls milky cuddles with me and drinks her warm milk instead.
I had hoped she would have forgotten what BF was and how it works! What will I do if she wants to feed when baby is born in 7 weeks? Will this cause a sibling rivalry/accepting the baby problem? I am entertaining thoughts about tandem feeding but really I would like just to BF the newbie.
My friend went through this with her DD1 who was a little younger than yours. They worked it out by DD1 cuddling up with her milk whilst DD2 fed. Or just cuddled if she wasn't thirsty. It only lasted a couple of weeks and then she was over it.
She will quite possibly have forgotten how to latch, so in some ways the easiest thing to do (in terms of defusing the situation) will be to let her try, realise she isn't getting anywhere and that her sucky cup is right there looking mighty tempting. But that may weird you out too much given that by then she'll have been weaned for six months or so.
Thanks for your replies.
toddlerama I can do milky cuddles with her when feeding, that will be ok for all of us and there should be a steady stream of visiting relatives to distract her for the first couple of weeks too. I just hope she doesn't try pushing the baby out the way or trying to climb on my lap at the same time. She has been very good about the idea of having a sibling so far and we have worked hard to prepare the ground, I don't want it to all go pear shaped over this
mrsjohnsimm I hope she has forgotten how to latch, but what of she hasn't and I let her have a go? I have visions of her suddenly getting some milk out and contentedly settling down to a mammoth welcome back feed with baby screaming in background.
If it was me I think I'd say some thing like, Poor old baby sister can only have milk and can't eat [insert whatever dd1's favourite foods are]. And the baby has a tiny tummy so needs to eat very often so the baby will get first dibs and might feed very frequently. If dd1 asks to try feeding then say if there is time or something quite vague.
And make sure she is distracted for the first few days so baby gets the colostrum.
I'm sure I've heard people say they thought it helped with rivalry - siblings holding hands while feeding, taking turns with mummy etc.
Remember you don't HAVE to let her if you don't want to. Its the cuddles that are most important I expect.
My DD1 was only 19 months when DD2 was born and I only stopped feeding her at 14 months so I had this concern. She was just the right age for her own dolly to take care of and we introduced her before DD2 was born. She then copied all the taking care of her baby from me and had a BF dolly.
As I was trying to coordinate nap times I used to cuddle up and read to her while feeding DD2, so she didn't feel she was being neglected in favour of baby.
Intended to have just DD1 and me at bedtime but DD2 would howl in protest if abandoned at this time, so used to BF her while reading bedtime story for DD1.
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