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8 month old fed at 7, 10.30, 12.30, 2.45, 5.30 and 7 - I can't keep doing it.(25 Posts)
DS was feeding at 7, 1 and 6.30, which was fab, but he's getting progressively worse. And whereas before he went straight back to sleep he now cries for a while and won't settle.
I have an inner ear problem at the mo which isn't helping. I'm exhausted all the time (post viral), and constantly nauseous and dizzy. Apparently I can expect it to last another 6 weeks.
I'm on meds which make me sleepy, and the GP told me to sleep as much as possible, but I can't get much sleep. I desperately need sleep, I feel horrendous.
DH is doing as much as he can in terms of getting him and then putting him back to bed, but if he's crying I can't get back to sleep anyway.
So I either need a way to get him to drop night feeds, or I'm going to try to give him formula, so that DH can do some of these feeds. I say try, he has to have Neutramigen/Neocate and he's previously refused to take it, so that'll be a battle in itself.
Also, he sleeps in his hammock but in our room, do you think moving him out might help?
I am desperate for any advice, please!
I take it you are giving him food too?? perhaps he needs to eat more during the day?
also, you have done really well to breastfeed this long, so I wouldn't feel guilty about introducing a bottle with some extra hungry formula if it gets him through the night.
sorry, just read about the issue with formula- didn't realise he couldn't have ordinary baby milk.
Yes, he's having solids too. I'll try giving him more, but someone told me that solids don't keep them as full, so I wasn't particularly trying to bulk him up before bed.
I might speak to the GP to see if there's a hungry baby version of neocate.
to be an honest I am not an expert at all so you would probably be best speaking to the health visitor who would have a lot of experience with this!
Hungry baby milk isn't a great idea anyway as it's just made harder to digest.
Personally I would work on dropping nightfeeds. Does your ds settle without a feed at bedtime or does he fall asleep on the breast?
I'd do feeds at 7pm/11pm/maybe 3am/7am. Only feed him at those times and if he wakes in between his dad can cuddle him and offer water. I did this to drop night feeds with my ds and it only took a few days for him to only wake for feeds.
He settles without feeding, he's never fed to sleep, because he used to be in pain after feeding I think.
We tried to give him water, but he screamed himself silly Maybe I just need to toughen up.
I moved dc3 into her own room at 10m and she went from feeding at 7pm, 12mid,3am , 5am and 7am to sleeping 7pm til nearly 6am(sometimes 5.30ish) within about a week. We were waking her up. Same with dc2 as well.
Ok, so I'm going to try to give him more solids, give him water in between certain feed times and move him into his own room.
I think the first couple of nights I cut down night feeds DP basically had to cuddle and rock DS the whole time between him waking and when the next feed was due - there was no way he could have got him to settle in his cot.
Moving him into his own room could be a good idea - I found it was good to have DP go in to DS and me stay away, as if I picked him up but refused to feed him it was very confusing/upsetting for DS. He accepted water and cuddles much more readily from DP as he wasn't expecting milk from him.
Is he actually feeding for long at a time or wanting lots of short frequent feeds? Is he feeding for 15 minutes+ at one time or just a few mins? If it's only a few mins, and particularly if you find he is easily distracted by noise/other people etc when on the breast, I'd suggest it's probably comfort he wants and not that he really needs lots of milk. I'd suggest trying distraction with toys/books/new objects etc for as long as possible between breastfeeds, as well as offering some food every 2 hours and by doing that gradually increasing the gaps between breastfeeds. I think the night feeds may also be partly out of habit and for comfort rather than because he really needs the milk - teething and/or separation anxiety can often kick in around 6 months, which makes it hard for babies to self-settle to sleep, but there are ways to help them overcome teething pains and separation anxiety other than by feeding.
Could well be the 8/9 month sleep regression having an effect. More info here, here and here.
IME, if naps haven't been good, that can also cause that sort of night waking and not being able to go back off without feeding. So can teething, wind, food allergies/intolerances.
Does co-sleeping work for you as a way of helping you sleep more even if he's up frequently?
Thanks everyone. Those links are good, thanks AngelDog.
During the day he is easily distractible when he feeds, but at every feed. I agree about spacing them, and they are getting further apart, but how far apart can I push them? I left him 7 hours the other day and felt really guilty, but DS seemed fine.
I think the night feeds are a comfort thing. I think he's teething and there's a developmental leap around this age so that's probably not helping. I did wonder if it was because it's hot, but it's been cool the last few nights and he's been as bad, if not worse.
He naps really well actually. Normally three times a day for between 1-2.5hrs.
I tried co-sleeping again, but even then he was crying after the feed and I couldn't sleep anyway.
I'll try changing things and see if that helps.
Thanks so much!
OP here. DS has been in his own room for 3 nights. He wakes for his feed at 11 and he generally wakes once more, but settles without feeding. He's waking early, but his room has no blackout blind yet so I think that isn't helping. But all in all lots more sleep all round.
Thanks so much everyone!
Can't offer you advice but just so you know you're not alone, my 11 month old sounds identical. Completely distracted during the day for feeds, and then feeds every 1-2 hours overnight and will not take no for an answer! Also can't do formula cos of previous cow's milk protein intolerance so only slowly getting him on to any dairy.
I'm trying to get more into him during the day. More milk, rather than more solids as there are more calories in my milk than in the solids he eats I think!
I'm trying the no cry sleep solution (again) as I can't go on like this...
Slight hijack Fling- but was it your ears causing the nausea then? Glad to hear you got sorted but I know ear ache is a killer, I've had glue ear for months & it's a PITA!
Yes, it's an inner ear thing. They think it might last another 6 weeks, well 5 now.
Hope your glue ear clears up soon!
flingon if he's having 3 naps a day of quite some length, that's a lot of daytime sleep. I would be tempted to cut down on the day sleep and see if that makes a difference.
Did he have reflux or CMPI or both? Neocate is hideous, can he have Aptamil Pepti instead? It tastes far better but not sure whether it'll be suitable if he has severe allergy. TBH I still have to flavour DS's (at the moment using agave nectar as it seems marginally better than sugar).
I agree on the day time naps, my six month old is on two naps, max of three hours a day. This is very similar to gina Ford, baby whisperer etc (I know they are universally loathed by mumsnet before the complaints start but it works for us.)
He had reflux caused by CMPI. I can ask for Aptamil Pepti, but tbh I'm just BFing him for now.
He's still having three naps, he wakes at 5, has an hour at 7, then again at 10.30 for about 2hrs, and then a short one in the mid afternoon. So he's napping less. But if he doesn't get them he sleeps worse at night.
BF much better all round if CMPI (and just generally!). Just mentioned in case you needed a break.
Do you cut all dairy out of his weaning diet?
Yes, I was told no dairy for weaning. But I have been putting a little bit of dairy back into my diet, and so far so good.
This is encouraging reading, thanks. DD is 9 months and wakes constantly, often not going back to sleep for over an hour at a time. I'm loathe to move her out of our room because she'll be sharing with DS. And DP works shifts so isn't often available to help. But if it can be done then there's hope!
I agree again on the naps - most babies move to two naps between about 6 and 9 months according to the
many sleep books I've read. And many babies are only having one nap as long as 1.5 hours by that age - lots have roughly 45 mins - 1.5-2 hours - 45 mins just before they drop the third nap (although some sleep for longer).
If some babies have too many naps, they are up in the night to 'compensate' (although others, like my DS, just won't be sleepy at bedtime).
I'd give him just 2 naps and make bedtime earlier to compensate as he may be a bit overtired until he adjusts to not having that third nap.
butternut, there is a big developmental leap at 11 months too (46 weeks) which messes up sleep. Info here, here and here.
I'm not worried about the naps. Now he's in his own room he's sleeping much better. He was doing 7-5, last night we put up the blackout blind and he did 7-8, so if he still wants the naps he can have them. But I imagine that now he's waking later he won't have the 7-8am nap, and will just do the 10-12 and the 3-4 naps (ish). Thanks for the advice though.
When he wakes to feed at 11 (and 5 last night) he doesn't actually wake up, he just grizzles, feeds with his eyes closed and is fast asleep again as soon as he's back in his hammock.
It's just so much better.
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