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shot confidence

(9 Posts)
madmomma Wed 15-Jun-11 22:00:11

Has anyone else breastfed their first baby successfully and then completely failed with a subsequent baby? I fed my daughter til she was 2 and a half yrs old with no problems after the first week. So I anticipated that I would be like a duck to water again with my son. I couldn't have been more wrong. My milk never came in as strongly, he was fussy and difficult to feed, he lost loads of weight, and at 3 weeks just screamed blue murder everytime I put him to the breast. The HV advised that I just keep trying but the poor thing was starving and skinny so I gave him a bottle - something I NEVER thought I would do. He was then pretty much bottlefed. I hated not feeding him myself, and I'm now pregnant and scared it's going to happen again. I have no confidence now, and have lost trust in my own body really. It didn't help that a couple of weeks after he stopped breastfeeding, my son became dangerously ill with a bacterial chest infection and nearly died. I blame myself for his low immunity and I am frightened that the same will happen with the next baby. Any advice would be appreciated.

japhrimel Wed 15-Jun-11 22:01:31

It sounds like you were unusually lucky first time round. Next time, expect it to be harder, but try to line up more help.

TheRealMBJ Wed 15-Jun-11 22:07:00

Do you have a support group nearby? I'd recommend that you get in contact and start going to sessions before you deliver DC3. That way you will get to know the peer-supporters and (hopefully) breastfeeding counsellors in your area, can debrief your previous experiences and discuss your fears before you have your baby.

If you need any support, you will then also already have a relationship with them so it won't be like sharing your problems with a complete stranger.

Good luck.

TruthSweet Wed 15-Jun-11 22:26:22

madmomma - luckily each time you get pg and start lactogenesis stage 1 again (around the 2nd trimester when your breasts start to make colostrum) it is like starting afresh. You will have a clean slate for the next baby and milk supply issues won't follow you around like a bad smell (you had a good supply with your first so you can again). Obviously if something like breast surgery or injury has happen in the intervening years then it might not work that way but you don't mention any abcesses/reductions/implants.

Is there any BFing groups (LLL/BfN/ABM/Surestart/etc) local to you that you could go to whilst you are still expecting to get to know the bfing supporters and to de-brief your previous experience with your DS. If you can't face doing a face to face meeting the bfing helplines will always be glad to talk you through your experiences.

It sounds like you did all you could and that is all we can do as parents. We do the best we can with the cards we are dealt and sometimes the deck is stacked against us. It is not always that way though.

madmomma Wed 15-Jun-11 22:46:47

Thanks guys, Luckily I went to school with the local breastfeeding counsellor (although she probably won't remember me.) I'm going to get her number and get on her books in plenty of time and hopefully she'll visit me after the birth. I'm also worried about how I'm going to manage the time demands of breastfeeding a newborn and look after my son, who will only be 14 months when the new baby arrives. I guess that's another thread though!

TruthSweet Wed 15-Jun-11 23:14:08

When you contact the bfc ask to be shown how to bf in a sling (ring or wrap type not baby-bjorn type) as that will help significantly when you have a toddler haring about everywhere (though you could be lucky and your DS not start walking until later <fingers crossed>wink).

madmomma Thu 16-Jun-11 19:55:54

brilliant idea, thanks truthsweet.x

sc2987 Thu 16-Jun-11 22:25:17

Maybe he was tongue-tied, that can cause the issues you had. Or some other physical problem. Get a knowledgeable lactation consultant to look at the next one asap if you have problems. Posterior tongue ties are often missed by HCPs...

madmomma Fri 17-Jun-11 21:42:20

crikey a tongue tie? Would never have thought of that. Will do, thanks

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