I want to stop breastfeeding. Why do I feel so very guilty?(11 Posts)
you feel guilty because you are a mother and feeling guilty is what we do!
9mths is fantastic!
Make your choice without guilt. Your dc has had the very best start possible.
Well done for feeding to 9 months.
It's hard I think as a mum to do anything without feeling guilty. One of my friends bf her DS till he was six months then went on to formula. After she stopped BFing him he seemed to get lots of colds etc so she has been beating herself up. But who knows if the two are connected, or if he would have had those minor illnesses anyway.
All you can do is what you think is right at the time.
Assuming you're going to gradually move from bf to ff I assume it will take a fair few weeks so you'll be even closer to your original 12m target by the time you stop, iyswim?
I felt the same when I stopped feeding DD two days after her first birthday. My reasons for stopping were:
1. Fed up with it;
2. Want to go to an evening class, so DH needs to be able to put her to bed;
3. Invited to work night out in a few weeks and really want to go - but couldn't if still bf at bedtime (DD won't take a bottle and refuses a cup at bedtime);
4. Fed up;
5. Sick of buying breast pads;
6. Want own life back;
7. Want body back;
8. Fed up.
So, all in all, utterly selfish reasons.
I stopped anyway. And do you know what? DD couldn't have cared less. She happily goes to bed without boob and is as chirpy as ever.
dont feel guilty! i did when i stopped with ds4 at 3/4mths and that was through ill health.
ds1 bfed till 18mths when he weaned himself.
ds2 bfed till nearly FOUR YEARS, couldnt get him to stop!
ds3 bfed till three and a bit years.
ds4 only for a few months and then stopped due to my ill health and beat myself up about it for a long time.
then had dd, i fed her for 2mths and then stopped as i had just had enough, i wasnt enjoying it, it was taking up all my time, she was a fussy feeder and quite frankly i was DONE with bfeeding, felt that i had done my bit and i dont feel guilty at all, it was the right choice for me and my family.
if you want to stop then do so, you have done really well, its not selfish to have had enough of bfeeding!
guilt is the mothers curse! i have a 13 month old ds, my first and i made so many decisions that i felt guilty about, and when i look back now are just stupid. They made no difference at all to how much i love him or how much he loves me.
I bet in six months you will realise you made the right decision for you and your baby.
I totally get where you are! DS2 is 7months and I've had enough too. Breastfed DS1 till aged 2 years when he self weaned but really don't fancy doing that again! I think I'll have to keep going till one year to stave off the guilt and also move straight to cows milk as less hassle but I would love to stop sooner.
It does sound like you might regret it if you stop now, and surely switching to formula is a faff unless your partner is v involved?
But honestly, do what feels best for you. There's always something to feel guilty about
If your feeling guilty at the thought of weaning chances are that actually doing it will only make you feel worse. Do you mind me asking what is it you are actually sick of? is it the frequency, is your DS squirmy and anoying at the breast? are there other factors such as friends/family teasing you or just making general derogatory remarks re bf? often the thing that is really getting to us is less the actual bf and more other situations or issues which we feel may improve if weaning happens. Such as a mum who is exhausted and sick of night feeds who thinks weaning is the only answer...infact often weaning does not improve the night waking but now she has one less trick up her sleave for settling her baby. Perhaps talking over your frustrations and just voiceing the feelings you have may actually help you too feel less fed up. Lots of mums go through phases of longing to be done with bf, hell I know I have but feeling like you are sick and tired of it and actually being ready to stop both for yourself and your child are two very different things.
Don't feel guilty - 9 months is absolutely brilliant. DS is 10 months and I'm about to wean because I've just had enough. I don't feel bad about it: I've been back at work for 4 months, I'm really busy and I need DH to be able to put him to bed without me. He needs me to be doing well at work in the long run much more than he needs to be BF.
Oh, and I don't think that when you gave up BFing could possibly have anything to do with speech delay in your DS1, so really don't feel guilty about that!
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