Feeling a bit sad about stopping breastfeeding

[emmylou157]

dd is 8 months old now and was exclusively bf - mainly because she wouldn't take a bottle. She has started taking one for the last month and I have been gradually increasing formula feeds and reducing bf. I have decided today to stop bf - she is only having 1-2 feeds a day at the moment.
I want to stop so I can have a bit of freedom - will only take boob if she wakes up in the night so are going cold turkey with it tonight as I haven't been able to go out since before she was born, and she has started gripping my nipple and pulling her head back which bl**dy hurts!

Feeling a litle bit sad that I won't ever feed her again - not sure why I am feeling like this - is it normal?

[RobynLou]

yes, I felt sad when DD1 stopped and she was 3.5 and I had a newborn to feed, but still I felt sad that my first baby was no longer my baby...

there's a lot of hormonal-ness going on as well as regular sadness at the passing of a special time in you and your child's lives.

if it's the right time for you then just go with it, and have a good night out to celebrate your freedom

[nello]

I totally feel this too. My baby is only 1 month old and I have just got to grips, more or less, with breast feeding. However due to where I live I only get maternity leave for 12 weeks so will have to go back and following this have a very big operation in the summer so I need to get her onto a bottle at 12 weeks (first expressing but then formula by the op). I am already feeling really sad about it as I will miss the closeness I feel when breastfeeding her.

[lindsell]

I felt v sad when I stopped bfing ds at 18mths, at the time it felt like the right thing to do and I had a last proper feed with him (during which I was crying ) and then the odd comfort feed occasionally in the few weeks following but he wasn't really bothered about stopping so it was the right time for us. I still feel a bit sad if I think about it now as it marked his growing independence and I always liked the closeness of bf.

[emmylou157]

Thanks at least I am not alone. I thought it would be a bit of a relief to stop but its not feeling like that. Nello I'm sure you will be OK. I was worried that when I went back to work we would lose our closeness but it hasn't happened. It is also lovely to see her dad feeding her as he loves it and has never really been able to do it before due to her refusing a bottle til 6 months old. I am also looking forward to a glass of wine with my tea tonight!!!

[LoveBeingKnockedUp]

I felt so sad when I stopped and what hurt more was that dd didn't seem to notice

[emmylou157]

Does anyone know what I do about sore boobs now I am stopping? Should I express some out or will it just go away? Loved being knocked up - she seems fine apart from during the night.

[LoveBeingKnockedUp]

I just increased the time between feeds gradually, to just first and last thing, then just before bed. Also tried to reduce the length of the feeds.

[coldcomfortHeart]

I felt sad too, (DS was 2y 1m) and echo what others say about how it is probably a bit hormonal and a bit of lamenting a phase in your child's life passing. Just wanted to add though that bf doesn't mean you can't drink wine with dinner, it's a very common misconception but a good way of looking at it is if you are sober enough to drive then you are sober enough to bf- ie a glass of wine here and there is fine!

[matana]

Yes, in fact i've posted something similar. I feel very sad about the prospect and have been trying to explain to DH why. I just feel that everything is 'the last time' at the moment as my DS is growing up so quickly (almost 5 months, so i'm thinking of weaning soon) and we're not planning on having any more. I'm most dreading giving up the bedtime feed as it's such a special time of closeness and breastfeeding is about so much more than merely providing food and nutrition.

I completely understand how you're feeling and yes, it's totally normal. My sister felt the same when she stopped BFing her LO. It's very psychological.

[hurrahforgin]

I've wrestled with bf since the beginning (we had to go back into hosp at 5days as he'd lost too much weight...so we were combination feeding since then...) he has always been a bit of a nightmare, as has always had a 'bottle' latch rather than boob (so it's never been comfy!) - He's almost 5 mo, and I'm thinking I've got to stop - the last few days he's been biting down so hard I can actually feel things crunch and it's HORRID! I don't think I can go on! Nevertheless, I'm feeling rally sad about it...his dad is amazing, and has been so so good since birth...I just feel like that was the only thing I alone could give him, and now I'll lose that. Did anyone feel like this? I have felt so proud to get over a lot of bf hurdles early on, and really wrestled with it...and it feels all the harder to let it go. But I don't think I can deal with him crunching me! It hurts too much...any advice or similar experience??

[Celticlassie]

I'm dreading stopping. I didn't enjoy it much at first and still don't love it; am looking forward to having a bit more freedom, but know I'll be very emotional when I stop. Hormones, I assume.

[hurrahforgin]

hormones @celticlassie, but also, do you feel a bit like it's your one 'mum' job that you alone can do?? I dunno, my husband says that's silly and i do lots for him..but i feel like everyone else can do everything else I do for him, and this is the one thing I alone could offer him and bond with him through...is that silly?

[Celticlassie]

No, probably not. When she has an expressed bottle (so I can go out, or have a gin!) I feel irrationally jealous. It's nice to feel indispensable!

[stargirl1701]

I still free such grief about breastfeeding DD1. It has really endured.

Thankfully, it was a lot smoother with DD2 and we are still going strong at 3 years.