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For EBFers please, just stopped bf and feeling gloomy...

(6 Posts)
glitterkitty Sat 15-Jan-11 20:46:07

Its day 4 of weaning DS (nearly 4yrs) off his bedtime bf sad & I'm feeling down (although I stopped because I finally hit the wall and thought 'I dont want to do this any more').Is this hormonal?

DS is ok about it- he has asked but seems ok for first time with me just sitting by the bed instead while he goes to sleep.

Anyone else feel this mix of relief and sadness? I thought I'd be so delighted but part of me wants to carry on!

SleepWhenImDead Sat 15-Jan-11 20:50:22

So so very normal to feel a little bit sad at whatever age you wean. Not looking forward to giving up DS2 as he will be my last baby! With Ds1 I felt a good sense of relief and bought myself some nice new bras! He will still be your baby and he will still utterly love you, it's important to remember! And well done as well

Cheggerspartypopper Sat 15-Jan-11 20:57:10

I recently weaned ds1 and felt a bit relieved tbh. I was tandem feeding and he wouldn't go to sleep without me and i was finding it all a bit tough. He's coped really well, every now and then I get a bit sad when I think about it but it had run it's course for both of us and we were both ready. He has started asking for my dh to put him to bed, and i miss my cuddles and sleepy chats with him most.

I think it's natural to feel mixed about it, but sounds like it's going great. I did it very slowly, and eventually noticed we had gone a few days without him feeding and then decided there was no turning back. He did ask again once a few weeks after but he was just hungry and when I suggested a cup of milk and a biscuit he jumped at it!

mawbroon Sat 15-Jan-11 22:40:26

I stopped nursing ds1 on his 5th birthday. I had been getting really annoyed by his nursing and didn't want to do it any more. He was tandemming with his brother and doing the two at once just set my teeth on edge.

We had been talking about stopping for ages and he suggested stopping on his birthday, but after we had stopped, it became very clear that he hadn't really wanted to.

He seemed ok at first, but after 6 weeks, he was just not himself at all. One evening in particular, he was lying wailing on the kitchen floor, sobbing and distressed, like I had never seen before. I thought to myself that I knew how to fix it in 10 seconds flat, so I asked if he wanted milk, which of course he did, and he is still nursing most days now.

I think what I am saying is that if your ds is fine with it all then the feelings of sadness will fade and you will have lovely memories of it all. And if he's not fine, you will know.

Cheggerspartypopper Sat 15-Jan-11 23:02:18

That's so true mawbroon. Ds1 now watches ds2 feeding and doesn't bat an eyelid whereas when he was still into bf he had a murderous look in his eye when his brother was having a feed grin. He loved feeding and really had to get it straight in his head that he didn't need it before he was ready. When I tried weaning him before, and he wasn't ready, I could tell he was finding it distressing and there was some changes in his behaviour that made me realise that wasn't the right time.

I did find him sniffing my bra with the happiest look on his face a few weeks ago though! Actually, that makes me feel happy and sad all at the same time.

glitterkitty Sun 16-Jan-11 16:20:04

Oh thanks for your lovely messages!

Just had chance to log back on- I'm going to watch and see how he goes- know just what you mean Mawbroon about knowing if he is ok with it or not- if I think if he is distressed I'll probably start again but tbh so far so good, he seems his usual happy self.

Cheggers the sniffing bra made tears come to my eyes!

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