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Need to rant!!

(11 Posts)
PeanutButter99 Mon 10-Jan-11 10:49:05

This is just a rant and there's nowhere else I can have it except here.
I have come up against these 3 different situations in the last wee while.

1. Friend pregnant and due in April and talking about starting slimming world 4 weeks after baby born.
Me: Are you thinking of bf because you get a cake allowance grin
Her: I'll give it a go but not everyone can breast feed.
What a defeatist attitude to take already and only a minority of people can't bf for medical reasons.

2. DS is 6 months old and I've been back at work for ages and as a result supply diminished and now I'm down to morning and evening bf only.
Me: I bf in morning and night.
Others: Well, that's ok he's getting big and needs proper milk now anyway.
Gggrrrr, since when is bm not proper food! And I would give anythng to still be bf all day every day. I was very upset when I had to stop.

3. I was sick and so was DS over xmas.
Me: I might be sick but I still need to feed DS. It's good for him, he gets the antibodies.
Mum: You shouldn't be feeding DS. You'll make him more ill.
Aaaahhh, and my mum is so good about bf!

I'm so sick of defending bf and my choice to bf my DS past 6 weeks! No one undertood how hard it was for me to accept I couldn't feed my DS myself at weekends and how sad I was.
I'm tired of explaining to people that yes, 1 year old babies can still bf and yes it is good for them!
I'm fed up telling people how bf is supply and demand and you demand feed your baby and if that means he feed every hour then so be it!!!
Breathe......I needed that, thanks grin

lowercase Mon 10-Jan-11 11:27:27

many professionals are uninformed re. bf, dont be shocked that your average joanne is too!

i had the company of a 5 year old child recently, who didnt know milk came from a breast and thought i was teasing her shock

i also had a friend who thought cows just 'make milk' at maturity shock shock

Deciduousblonde Mon 10-Jan-11 11:40:05

You know, sometimes you can't even continue justifying or defending yourself when others aren't prepared to listen! I find it amazing that we are still living in a land where breastfeeding is a weird thing to do.

I am actually on the other side of this now. I breastfed my 4 children until they were 9/10 months old (when they chose to stop). I now find myself pregnant again and am seriously considering bottlefeeding. When I first found out I ws adamant it would be a I am leaning towrds breastfeeding 6 weeks or so and changing to bottle. My mother is aghast..why on earth don't I want to breastfeed? the answer is, I really don't know.

Nobody should be criticised for the way they feed their baby. I think you are doing a bloody marvellous job, and you know the one thing I missed when my babies gave up the breast was the morning & evening feed.

It was so special

PeanutButter99 Mon 10-Jan-11 12:20:22

We don't really have a morning feed anymore, just a through the night feed grin.
lowercase, my 5 old cousin was very interested in my bf DS. We were having breakfast at the table, he looked at my glass of milk and asked 'did that milk come from your boobie'!!
My SIL DD was ff. She's 2 and a half and was fascinated by the fact that DS got milk from me. She would climb up on the sofa and pull up my top for a better look. Then she started feeding her dolls by pulling up her top. Her mother was not amused! I told her it was natural and she said it was natural for girls to feed their dolls using bottles

Things like that make me just want to cry out as loud as I can that bf is normal!!!

Nagoo Mon 10-Jan-11 12:26:47

Nice rant.

I'm very fortunate I think that my family is very normal about bf.

Deciduousblonde Mon 10-Jan-11 12:35:34

Mine also used to feed their dollies & teddies with their boobies grin in fact when one of them was given a dolly botle to use she was quite confused!

When my eldest was a t nursery she used to take her toy monkey in with her so she could give him 'boobie lunch'

It's lovely..

legallyblond Mon 10-Jan-11 12:38:59

I understand peanutbutter... rant away!!

My mother is 100% brilliant about bf (she bf'ed until all her 4 children were 18 months) but my MIL doesn't get it al all! When i bf 3 month old dd in front of her yesterday, she asked what "proper food" i give her as well as my milk! When i said nothing, of course, she said "she [dd] must be starving, that must be why she's not sleeping through the night yet. have you told your doctor what you're doing?" shock

(dd, by the way is on the 98th centile... hardly starving!!!)

PeanutButter99 Mon 10-Jan-11 12:55:50

LOL legallyblond.
But this is the issue. Do you say something to your MIL every time she says something disheartening to you or have you now got to the stage where you are fed up of defending yourself.
And if we stop defending ourselves then how will we normalise bf???

PortiaPony Mon 10-Jan-11 16:47:51

Dont be so hard on your friend in point number 1, i was that person and it was just me protecting myself. I did want to BF but having seen my three closest friends and my sister haev major difficulties BFing when they tought it would be a doddle, i didnt want to set myself up for a fall so would say exactly what your friend did. One of my mates ended up nearly diagnosed with PND due to not being able to BF when she had been determined to while PG. Felt a failure as a mother etc etc. So...i thought..i'll do my best but if it doesnt work as long as baby gets fed somehow then thats the main thing. Turns out baby had read a BF manual in utero, latched on perfectly when 1 hour old and its been a breeze since then smile

Deciduousblonde Mon 10-Jan-11 16:58:29

That's a very good point, PortiaPony.

My mother felt like a failure after she had me..well who wouldn't? wink because I really didn't like latching on! she tried so hard, but I wouldn't have any of it. So off she did trot to the shops and bought me some carnation (it's what they did in the 60's, apparently).

The main point was that I was being fed. Mum went on to successfully breastfeed my sister & brother, mainly (she thinks) because she didn't set herself a goal or any high hopes.

I remember her advising me to 'sit back and think beautiful thoughts' to let my milk flow..bless her grin

PeanutButter99 Tue 11-Jan-11 10:17:33

Awww, that's lovely.
You're right PortiaPony. Must learn not to be so judgemental.
DS is my first baby and I wanted to bf when I was pregnant. I was fortuante in that the only problems I had was very sore nipples and boobs and it was very sore when DS latched on. Used to do my breathing exercises when that happened! Didn't realise until I joined MN about all the other nasty things that can happen.
And I never expected I'd feel this passionately about bf.
Now, DS is crying so I must go get him his bottle of formula, alredy prepared and cooling in the fridge!
I hate having to be this organised. Give me back lifting my top as soon as DS cries grin. At least I have the morning bf to give me some time in the morning!

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