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I lost my temper with my baby and I feel horrible...

(15 Posts)
bigredtractor Tue 04-Jan-11 19:52:46

Hello,

I feel dreadful - have a BF 11 week old and have been trying to introduce a bottle (for expressed milk) for a few weeks (to give me abreak every now and then) with mixed success.

Today after 45 minutes of screaming, refusing, batting it away I shouted at him and left him in his chair before i fed him with the boob about 10 mins later.

I am a horrible person.



I don't know how to get him to accept a bottle - perhaps I shouldn't bother?

itsatiggerday Tue 04-Jan-11 19:55:23

Don't beat yourself up, you're not a horrible person, just understandably frazzled. And well done for walking away when you were losing it and leaving him somewhere safe. He'll be fine.

Re the bottle, I'm not the expert, I couldn't express enough to make a feed up so never got that far but I'm sure lots of others will have advice.

Well done for getting this far, it does all get easier.

SlightlyTubbyHali Tue 04-Jan-11 19:58:03

Can you get someone else to try giving the bottle with you not there? He may just prefer to get it direct from the source when you are about.

Don't feel bad about losing your temper: it happens and you didn't do anything to him.

AKMD Tue 04-Jan-11 19:58:09

You are not a horrible person, just very tired and I a stressful situation. I cannot stand hearing DS cry and 45 minutes of complete non-cooperation is enough for anyone to deal with. Is your DH or a close family member or friend around to give you a break when you aren't feeding? Maybe your DS would be more wiling to take a bottle from someone else (who doesn't smell of milk!).

onepieceoflollipop Tue 04-Jan-11 19:58:21

With dd1 I just gave up. I found that the benefit of giving her a bottle i.e. a break for me occasionally wasn't really working for us.

It's up to you whether you persevere or not. In my case dh was willing to try and feed her with ebm, but in the end I found it hard knowing that I could just give her boob and she was happier.

Tbh I was able to rest when feeding, great opportunity to read/eat/watch television but I know that it's not relaxing for everyone.

JiltedJohnsJulie Tue 04-Jan-11 19:59:57

Agree with itsa, you're not a horrible person and you did well to put him somewhere safe and leave the room when you lost your temper.

IMHO if giving him the bottle ends in 45 mins of screaming and you loosing your temper, its not really giving you a break is it? Personally I'd just give him the boob and put my feet up with a cuppa.

If you really want him to have a bottle, leave the bottle and DS with someone else for a while whilst you do something for yourself. He may accept the bottle more readily if you're not around.

Bumperlicious Tue 04-Jan-11 20:01:20

You're not horrible! It's so frustrating & you are tired. Can dp take the baby for a bit?

As for the bottle there are lots of things to try. Would recommend doing a search as there are loads of precious threads with lots of good advice.

Morph2 Tue 04-Jan-11 21:52:09

agree with the advise given above about getting someone else to give the bottle. My DS (now 7 months) would never take a bottle from me in the early days but would from DP or my mum.

needsatrim Tue 04-Jan-11 22:00:24

big, do not feel bad.
Being a mum is the hardest and most well kept secrest in the world. I am a health visitor and a midwife and i must admit I was really quite crap.
Have you got Kate Figes. Life after Birth? it is the best book , I recomend it to a lot of mums.
I would agree with baby not wantinbg bottle from you, try someone else if you can.
The best thing is it won't last forever, not much comfort but this time next year you will wonder what you were worried about.

HollyFP Wed 05-Jan-11 13:15:47

I wrote the exact same post about 2 months ago, when I was trying with my then 3 month old DD. After lots of helpful comments I just stopped worrying about it. Unless you have to give a bottle (eg going back to work) then I would not stress about it and just continue bf

My DH sometimes tries a bottle of ebm if I need to express a bit, with mixed results. but since I've stopped fretting about it, me and DD are much happier

Well done for bf, hope you want to continue!

monkeyflippers Wed 05-Jan-11 13:57:35

Aaah don't feel bad, we all lose out temper sometimes and you did the best thing by putting baby down and walking away.

LoopyLoopsOfSparklyFairyLights Wed 05-Jan-11 14:00:32

I think we've all been there.

bigredtractor Wed 05-Jan-11 20:17:08

Thanks everyone - I felt so awful yesterday that my DH made me go out with him and DS for a couple of hours to get some fresh air, which worked.

I plan to BF as long as I can, but wanted to see if we could do a couple of bottle feeds to give me bit of a break now and then e.g. go and see a film or something.

Also, once we get to weaning, if the baby's never had a bottle, how will he be able to drink juice or water etc. if he's never learned how?

HollyFP Wed 05-Jan-11 20:21:00

Big, you can start him on a sippy cup or Doidy cup during weaning. No actual need to use a bottle

Scootergrrrl Wed 05-Jan-11 20:21:49

The length of time between feeds will get longer as he gets older, and you will get a break. And if you want to go to the cinema then go! If he's hungry he will take the bottle or not. Either way he won't starve in a few hours. Once he needs to drink water or whatever, you might want to try him with a sippy cup or a doidy cup without a lid. Please be kind to yourself though. You're the best mum he has smile

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