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Breastfeeding to sleep at 2.5. And now I'm pregnant ...

(14 Posts)
BorgLady Sun 02-Jan-11 18:57:02

What am I going to do?

DS is 2.5 and still breastfeeds to sleep. He's in our bed most of the night and has never fallen asleep on his own.

Now I'm pregnant again (just 5+2) and DH doesn't like the idea of tandem feeding, although I would like to give it a go.

I am aware that needing to feed DS to sleep, however, will be bloody hard when there is a new baby.

I am assuming that my milk will dry up at some stage during pregnancy?

This seems like a massive brick wall right now, how am I going to do this? Do you think DS will grow up a bit when he has a new brother or sister? He will be 3 by then, maybe easier to explain things to him?

Has anyone else been in this position? Please help!

LeninInExcelsis Sun 02-Jan-11 19:01:59

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EauRouge Sun 02-Jan-11 19:05:10

Hi BorgLady, congrats on your pregnancy

I'm 33 weeks now and BF 2.3 yo DD, my supply has never dropped to my knowledge, DD has certainly not stopped feeding anyway.

I have stopped feeding DD to sleep as in she doesn't fall asleep on the breast but I do still feed her at bedtime, then we have a cuddle and I sing to her while she falls asleep. It was fairly easy to do, it took a week or so for her to fall asleep easily. Is your DS nightweaned?

I was recommended this book by a MNer and it answered all my questions about tandem feeding. It's got a section on how to wean if that's what you want to do- Adventures in Tandem Nursing.

BorgLady Sun 02-Jan-11 19:07:39

Thank you

I think I would be very happy to follow your advice, sit back and see how things pan out, but it's DH who is pretty adamant that DS needs a routine and that I will not be able to bf two kids.

I feel very strongly about bf, always wanted to go to two, and now I still feel there is an advantage to continuing. It may be coincidence, but he gets ill far less often than his peers.

I'm a bit cross that I'm the one who has read all the books, asks all the advice and does all the research and yet DH still thinks his opinion is as important as mine when he has read nothing.

Does that sound horrible? Oh dear.

LeninInExcelsis Sun 02-Jan-11 19:10:22

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StealthPolarBear Sun 02-Jan-11 19:10:57

Yes, I've been in that position, only DS was a bit younger - 19 months
What happened to me was that I (honestly) said most of the way through a feed that I was desperrate for a wee and could he lie down until I came back. 9 times out of 10 he was asleep when I got back - and no tantrums shock I was amazed. Now he has a pre bed feed but rarely feeds fully to sleep any more.

If your DS is 2+ then IMO he is old enough to understand that other people have needs and you will be able to change the routine

BorgLady Sun 02-Jan-11 19:11:38

EauRouge Thanks - it sounds as though you are in a similar position in that your DD needs a lot of attention to fall asleep.

My DS is not night weaned, he wakes several times in the night and has to be bf to sleep again.

My worry is if the new baby wakes him in the night, what am I going to do then? I can't bf them both back to sleep confused

My DS has his bf and then turns over and goes to sleep by himself, so he doesn't really feed to sleep, though he never sleeps unless he has had the bf iyswim

EauRouge Sun 02-Jan-11 19:17:55

You could try night weaning now, it didn't take long the second time I tried it with DD. The first time I think she was a bit young and wasn't ready but the second time it only took a few nights for her to stop asking. I just used to tell her that booby was asleep, I'd offer her some water and then we'd cuddle instead. I think she was about 18 or 19 months when she was night weaned. She still wakes up a few times a night but at least now DH can get her back to sleep.

I'm expecting a bit of regression when DC2 arrives in a few weeks though!

StealthPolarBear Sun 02-Jan-11 19:26:33

I had the same worry about DD waking DS but he was rarely (maybe once or twice but nothing I can remember) woken by her

weasle Sun 02-Jan-11 20:45:12

I had exactly this situation, even the unsupportive dh.

"I'm a bit cross that I'm the one who has read all the books, asks all the advice and does all the research and yet DH still thinks his opinion is as important as mine when he has read nothing.

Does that sound horrible?" No, it is exactly how I feel!

my ds2 was 2.5 years when ds3 arrived. he was feeding to sleep at bedtime, NOTHING else worked. he fed through the pg although i think i had almost no milk after 20 weeks-ish.

after the birth, carried on, dh or MIL would hold ds3 whilst i did it. after all the years of arguing with dh i eventually weaned ds2 when he was 2.9, it was horrible, he sobbed for milk, and didn't make life easier as we replaced a 10 minute feed with up to 2 hours sitting in his room to get him to sleep. 4 months later after very gradual retreat he will sometimes go to sleep alone but weaning was not an easy fix.

keep going for now you have 8 months to work out a strategy for you all. good luck

activate Sun 02-Jan-11 20:51:41

No reason not to tandem feed and no reason your milk will dry up but I don't understand why you don't train him out of needing to feed to sleep

BorgLady Mon 03-Jan-11 10:07:56

Thanks all for your replies and support.

DS is not going to be easy to get off the breast, up till now, training him has seemed a bit pointless as I didn't want to stop feeding (and still don't really). I think I'll end up in the same situation as weasle, having to spend two hours in the bedroom with DS getting him to sleep when a 10 minute feed would have done it.

I have got a copy of the No Cry Sleep Solution, I should probably give it another read.

As far as DH is concerned, he has been the one suggesting that we get DS into a routine, and said about reading him a bedtime story etc. But when I suggested he start last night he made an excuse! So that's how committed HE is!

I think when it comes down to the nitty gritty, I shall suggest removing all breast temptation from DS by making DH responsible for his new bedtime routine. He'll crumble within an hour and see the wisdom of tandem feeding I'm sure.

Oh dear, I am wicked.

LeninGrad Mon 03-Jan-11 10:46:34

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RobynLou Mon 03-Jan-11 10:53:48

I'm 37weeks pg and bfing DD still who's 3.5

I haven't had to bf her to sleep since she was 9m (I work evenings so we had to sort it out then)

but if I'm getting her to sleep it has to be bfing apart from a few very rare times - mostly DH does bedtime with her.

imo, if you want to get him to go to sleep without bfing then it has to be DH who does it, at least for the first few weeks/months.

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