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Sad about 11 month old refusing breast

(14 Posts)
rostbeef Thu 23-Dec-10 21:35:09

Hi all, I posted this in Behaviour but was advised to come here:

I was planning to BF until my DD was one. Or even beyond as I have decided to be a SAHM. She has always been a fabulous feeder and aside from the usual early days problems I have loved breastfeeding. She is now 11 months old, loves solid food and is getting more and more independent each day. She is cruising and almost there with taking steps.
She is a late teether and her three teeth (two bottom one eye tooth fang!) only arrived last month.
My problem is that for the last two days she has refused the breast. She BITES me HARD instead and then refuses to nurse. She was having a feed in the morning and evening and one at 3/4pm if she 'asked' for it. But now she is not suckling. she is falling asleep happily alone and happy taking a bottle at bedtime and sippy cup of milk in the morning. Its like she has just decided its time to quit and done it.
So, thats good in a way but I feel completely bereft and rejected. Do I need to pull myself together and deal with this sudden stop? I am engorged and feel emotionally raw about the whole thing. Its like she doesn't need me anymore!
Any similar experiences??

OP’s posts: |
MumNWLondon Thu 23-Dec-10 21:37:22

When/why did you introduce the bottle?

rostbeef Thu 23-Dec-10 21:40:13

She has taken bottles of EBM since she was 6 weeks. But as I haven't pumped for so long I have given her formula over the last two days.

OP’s posts: |
BertieBottlesOfMulledWine Thu 23-Dec-10 21:40:22

It sounds like a nursing strike - if you want to carry on, you probably could. Of course if you want to take this opportunity to stop then it could be a good chance to. I know that it's very normal to feel hormonal when you stop BF whether it's sudden or gradual. Also to prevent yourself getting mastitis you should express - if you want to carry on you could express when she would usually feed to keep stimulation going, if you want to stop then express small amounts to keep yourself comfortable, and reduce this slowly.

Info on nursing strikes

MrsGetoutClaus Thu 23-Dec-10 21:47:04

Your post has made me well up <sniff sniff>

I don't have a similar experience but I wanted to come and share what I do have which is a beautiful poem about weaning. I was in two minds because it's quite an emotional one and if you're feeling that way already this may make it worse, I hope it doesn't, I hope it summarises what you're feeling and could perhaps help you to know you're not alone with these feelings.

Two days is quite early to say for def that she given up. She is teething and that make babies go a bit odd. She could be just discovering what these new teeth can do and a nice soft breast makes a good chew toy (ouch!). It may be just a quick phase that she will grow out of and will be back to happily breastfeeding in a couple of days. Remember the old MN mantra....This too shall pass.

Here's the poem (get a tissue ready)

Wean Me Gently
by Cathy Cardall

I know I look so big to you,

Maybe I seem too big for the needs I have.

But no matter how big we get,

We still have needs that are important to us.

I know that our relationship is growing and changing,

But I still need you. I need your warmth and closeness,

Especially at the end of the day

When we snuggle up in bed.

Please don't get too busy for us to nurse.

I know you think I can be patient,

Or find something to take the place of a nursing;

A book, a glass of something,

But nothing can take your place when I need you.

Sometimes just cuddling with you,

Having you near me is enough.

I guess I am growing and becoming independent,

But please be there.

This bond we have is so strong and so important to me,

Please don't break it abruptly.

Wean me gently,

Because I am your mother,

And my heart is tender.

ZuzuandZara Thu 23-Dec-10 21:52:43

Oh good god, I was crying at just the title. I am going to breastfeed my DTs forever.
Thoughts are with you Rostbeef, I hope you work it out.

MumNWLondon Thu 23-Dec-10 21:59:03

Do you mean EBM every night, or just sometimes eg if you were going out?

MrsGetoutClaus Thu 23-Dec-10 22:10:50

Sorry Zuzu grin

BertieBottlesOfMulledWine Fri 24-Dec-10 09:59:53

Honestly this is very unlikely to be linked to giving a bottle of EBM. Hope you are okay, OP?

rostbeef Fri 24-Dec-10 13:41:52

Thanks all - its horribly emotional isn't it!

I have decided to go with it, I hope its a nursing strike but I am going to try to accept it if its time to stop...

Happy Christmas to you all - and the little ones!! x

OP’s posts: |
jemjabella Fri 24-Dec-10 15:07:57

Biting hard then pulling away was the exact symptoms my DD displayed at 10-11mo. It lasted TWO weeks, and then she broke out in chicken pox. She returned to the breast the day the first spots appeared and is still nursing now at 13mo.

Babies don't wean suddenly, and very rarely under the age of 2, so unless you want to stop you may need to pump over the coming days to maintain supply. I'll try and dig out the link to my thread as it was full of good ideas and support.

jemjabella Fri 24-Dec-10 15:10:44

Here you go: 1134-Nursing-strike

ConcreteElephant Fri 24-Dec-10 17:56:19

I have recently come through a 9 day nursing strike and I sympathise. It's desperately hard.

DD was 10.5 months, also a late teether (still only has 2 despite clearly teething, sometimes in great pain, for I do not know how long!). She started to crawl at 9.5 months, her sleep was all over the place and one day she latched, bit hard and pulled back. That was it - any subsequent attempts to latch saw biting or just not trying, despite having that little excited face - she'd get close to the breast and turn away. I was heartbroken but had to try not to show it in case it put her off further - not easy.

I read lots of accounts of nursing strikes, including Jemjabella's and it did help. My DD didn't feed at all from me for 9 days - some babies will take a feed when sleepy I think?

Anyway, my tale is here - just a short one but I hope it gives you some reassurance.

Pranita0791 Tue 12-Dec-17 05:38:33

I had the same problem with my 11 month old. I did express and feed him for 9 days then. Later tried nipple shield. And it helped! My baby is back to my breast again

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