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Panicking about going back to work - wont take a bottle!

(22 Posts)
Lizbertnobacon Mon 13-Dec-10 12:20:03

Dd is nearly 7 months and ebf. We had a bit of trouble establishing bf, i had to express for a couple of days when she was a week old. I was so grateful that she eventually latched on and accepted my nipple I was too scared to try a bottle again until she was about 16 weeks and I was sure bf was established, at which point she rejected ebm from a bottle. She hates it and gets quite distressed if you try it.

I have loved bf anyway so have never minded but I am starting to worry myself silly about when I go back to work at start of march. I have tried ebm and water in a doidy and a tommy tippee cup but she just uses the spout on the tt cup to chew on and the doidy cup goes everywhere.

Plus she enjoys a boob for comfort as much as food and I'm so worried that she will get so distressed without it during the day. If she is over tired and upset sometimes it's the only thing that will soothe her and the thought of her screaming for me makes me want to cry already!

Has anyone got any tips about how to encourage her to drink from any sort of cup/bottle and how to prepare her to go without bf during the day without going cold turkey. I want to carry on bf morning and night when I work so I just need to know how to get her to be happy doing both.

Thanks very much for any advice, it will be gratefully received!

Lizbertnobacon Mon 13-Dec-10 12:20:42

Yikes that was long! Thanks to anyone who gets to the bottom!

Weemee Mon 13-Dec-10 12:43:33

Hi Liz, Had same troubles with my dd. Think that by March your lo will be about same age as mine is now. Here's what I have done:

Had big probs with feeding initially and at 9 weeks expressed one breast and bottle fed EBM for 3 days to allow nipple to heal. Then 2 weeks of breastfeeding only, really working on the latch. At 12 weeks went to give a bottle of EBM. DD did not want to know. I bottle down sink . This happened at lot over the next 16 weeks. Yup 16 weeks. All the advice I got was "persevere" (this was also pre mumsnet!).

Tried different people giving the bottle, me out of house, culminating in a truly awful day where we attempted cold turkey and lo went 10.5 hrs without milk. Tried every single brand of bottle and teat until at 28 weeks I bit the bullet and admitted defeat (this does not bode well for the future that my dd can beat me with her stubbornnesswink Anyway.........

About 24 weeks started giving water from a cup (gave a cup with every solids and tried at other times during the day. We pierced a tiny hole in the top of the cup to make it free flowing (you still have to suck otherwise- try it) cos she wouldn't suck on anything apart from my nipple. She finally consistently started taking water about 8.5 months. She started at nursery at 9.5 months and a month prior to this I started "giving" formula from a cup. Won't take it. IT is not a skill thing she gulps water from the cup. Think she just doesn't like it. Tried EBM. No go. So it is a preferencet thing! TBH Gave up.

Dropped afternoon feed and feed both breasts morning and nite. She's at nursery now and tbh she doesn't niss the afternoon feed. I just make sure she gets lots of dairy.

Sorry this post doesn't tell you what I know you would want to hear but it does tell you I suppose that it can be done and you will get there! Hope that has helped a little? grin

Lizbertnobacon Mon 13-Dec-10 14:55:19

Thanks wee, that has given me hope!!

I am trying water with a little apple juice in her cup at the moment in the hope that the taste encourages her to drink (she loves apples!). She just doesn't seem that interested though and is definitely not comforted by it. I suppose she will learn to comfort herself though when I'm physically not there.

Good idea about making the cup free flowing as it seems at the moment that she cant be bothered to suck!

Guacamohohohole Mon 13-Dec-10 15:00:48

I'm in exactly the same boat, start back at work beginning of March. We've decided to tackle this head on after Xmas, so watching with interest!

Lizbertnobacon Mon 13-Dec-10 15:14:50

It's hard isn't it guacamo!! I haven't been away from dd for more than 2 hours for 7 months, other than once at 16 weeks when I had to rush home after 3 hours because she refused ebm and was screaming the house down! I don't mind but am getting to point where dp and I would like to go for a meal or watch a film and I daren't leave her at the moment. And I really want it sorted out by the time I go back to work. I'll be a nervous wreck as it is never mind if I think she is going to starve herself and scream herself sick confused

leafinthewind Mon 13-Dec-10 15:26:39

I went back to work when DD was 10 months. She never took a bottle at home and I persuaded her down to morning and evening feeds only the month before she started at nursery. A lot can change between now and March. DD went from 6 or 7 feeds a day at 7 months to 2 feeds a day at ten months. She dropped the first feed all by herself, and I gradually replaced the others with meals/snacks. She has only just started to enjoy milk (age 2) so I made sure she got her calcium from yoghurt and cheese and tried not to worry too much. In the end, she happily took bottles at nursery where she could see other children having them, but decided after a month or two that they weren't worth the candle. No idea if this helps!

Guacamohohohole Mon 13-Dec-10 21:21:20

God Lizbert are you sure you're not me? Exactly the same. My biggest problem is I also feed to sleep. I'm terrified my baby will not only starve but also not nap! This is why come January I'm going to be ruthless. I'd rather get it sorted and be able to comfort him through it rather than rely on nursery sorting him out when I'm not there. I'll keep you posted!

Guacamohohohole Mon 13-Dec-10 21:24:01

We can support each other, I'll let you know my tactics (when I figure them out) and whether they're working or not!

Lizbertnobacon Tue 14-Dec-10 07:23:18

Yes I feed to sleep a lot of the time too!! Will definitely keep an eye out for how you are getting on because it sounds like we have exactly the same issues! How are you planning on going about it in Jan, are you going to cut down bf? I still bf on demand and am thinking should I try and introduce a proper feeding routine.

thegauntlet Tue 14-Dec-10 09:19:03

hi. well... i go back to work tomorrow!!!! and looked at this with interest. Every make of bottle dots our shelves; and we had only managed to get DD ( 6 months) to take 3oz from a NUK latex once ( it felt like a victory- but then the dissapointment!)

so; I was panicking; I have every type of sippy cup too- and then.....

on Saturday I had a normal nuk bottle with me,( as I am trying to drop a boob feed- as she wont get it as of tomorrow anyway, and I would rather not be engorged at work!) it is one with a silicone teet; which is non drip ( ie not continuous flow) it had normal cows whole milk in ( as I am fed up of throwing away BM) and has 2 handkes. I had just rested it on her lap in the carseat. When I looked over at the lights she had the teat in her mouth biting it. When we got home; she had taken 2 oz and had milk all over her face!!!

Woop. I think that she felt pressured when I kept trying in varying degrees of panic. It just took her to do it in her own time.

Anyway; really good luck with this. It has caused me mucho sleepless nights... but hurrah!!!!

thegauntlet Tue 14-Dec-10 09:21:46

i meant to say... the only other time she took milk ( the 3oz wonder day) was when I had to go into work and she was staaarving and screaming, and was 10 weeks old.

Also... she has taken sips from this bottle consistently since the car episode. Woop!!

( and I dont really have a routine, I am just feeding on demand after 430 as this is when I will be coming back from work- my supply will work it out!)

Lizbertnobacon Tue 14-Dec-10 10:51:11

Leaf - that does really help. I think I need to remember she has a lot of developing to do in 2.5 months and it may sort itself out naturally.

Gauntlet - I haven't tried nuk bottles but will go and get one and try leaving her to her own devices with it. I think it is true that she gets really puzzled and frustrated when i try to give her a bottle/cup because she knows what I have up my jumper and looks at me as if to say have you gone mad woman, give me the good stuff!! She does enjoy holding her cup by herself so might just leave her in her high chair with it and see what happens! Good luck back at work!!!!!

sheeplikessleep Tue 14-Dec-10 13:26:45

reading with interest. ds2 is 9 months and fed to sleep naps and night time. he is fed on demand, but has about 4 or 5 feeds during the day. we're trying ebm in a sippy cup tonight for the first time (he drinks sips of water from it). going back to work in february. fingers crossed everyone's LOs start co-operating

Guacamohohohole Tue 14-Dec-10 13:42:35

I'm attempting to draw up a timetable...
I'm currently thinking...
Week 1 Stop breastfeeding during the night
Week 2 Stop breastfeeding for naps
Week 3 Only breastfeed first thing in the morning, 10am, 2pm and bedtime
Week 4 Replace 2pm breastfeed with bottle/cup if he won't take it I will not offer the breast (I might try gauntlet's trick)
Week 5 Replace 10am breastfeed with bottle/cup (likewise not offer the breast)
He'll be almost 11 months old and I'm pretty sure he shouldn't need that much milk at this point, but I'm going to discuss it with my HV in Thursday.
I'm happy to carry on first thing in the morning, last thing at night breastfeeds until he no longer needs it.

Guacamohohohole Tue 14-Dec-10 13:48:01

I wish you luck sheep, my DS 'drinks' water out of a cup, but I replaced it one day with formula (even with fancy hired breast pump I can't express more than 1oz) you'd think I'd poisoned him - the faces he was making, he starting gagging and then spat it everywhere. Hopefully with breastmilk your DC won't notice!

Bramshott Tue 14-Dec-10 13:52:49

Honestly - I wouldn't worry too much. And wouldn't start trying to cut down on feeds now to prepare yourself for something 3 months hence.

Your DD will be 10 months in March and will more than likely be drinking from a cup even if she won't drink much milk from it. Both of my DDs would never take a bottle, and with DD2 I went back to work (albeit on shorter hours) when she was 5 months. She was always fine - ate a fair amount incl yoghurt, drank water (although never that much) and bf when she was with me. While some babies (particularly if they are ff) are still having a lot of bottles of milk at 10 months, others are definitely tailing it off, particularly if they eat well.

sheeplikessleep Tue 14-Dec-10 19:23:37

So, first attempt. DH said apparently he took a few swallows (more because he had to, i.e. the milk went in his mouth, than sucking). He then point blank refused any more and was pushing the cup away.

I'm not surprised.

I might try with cartons of formula, just because I can't stand to see EBM go down the sink!

What's the consensus on whether it's better to get a freeflowing or sucky type cup for those babies used to breastfeeding?

sheeplikessleep Tue 14-Dec-10 19:24:24

PS wasn't DH who took a few swallows, but DS2 grin. Re-reading my post, it could be interpreted the other way

Lizbertnobacon Wed 15-Dec-10 09:21:51

Well quick update! Went to boots yesterday but they only had 1st stage newborn nuk bottles so I tried a nuby bottle with a fast flow teat and tried some formula in it and she took one sip, gagged and pulled faces like it was arsenic I had given her and then clamped her mouth shut.
So, going to forget about formula, try to find a nuk bottle but in the meantime keep offering her ebm and water in the tommee tippee because thats the only one that she lets past her lips at the moment!!

sheeplikessleep Wed 15-Dec-10 09:27:36

oh lizbertnotbacon, sorry to hear that.

Lizbertnobacon Wed 15-Dec-10 19:23:10

She did take 2oz of diluted squeezed apple juice this afternoon though for the first ever time! Will try to tempt her with ebm tomorrow....

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