Is this normal?

[ChilledChick2]

Got back from a friends earlier and I'm unnerved by what she has told me.

She was looking dishevelled but happy at that particular time (she's on AD's and has been for about 6 months BTW) and that's when she came out with it. The long and short of it was that she became suicidally depressed when her LO(5m + EBF) latched on and it took about 30mins for those feelings to settle after feeding. Now, these feelings only happen when she is feeding and no other time.

The worst part was said friend telling me that earlier on, she stood in front of her meds cupboard and was contemplating taking an overdose. As soon as I heard that, I told her to go to her GP ASAP.

Is it normal to feel suicidal when BF?

[Fluteyboots]

Not in my experience. I did find it could a bit of a hormonal rush at first, and could make me feel emotional, but that could've been down to tiredness and birth hormones. But it settled.

Definitely she needs to get some help, try and persuade her to go asap.

[Lastyearsmodel]

Google DMER - never heard of it til someone mentioned it on here. I am no expert, but your friend's description fits it exactly.

[Lastyearsmodel]

Found it - D-Mer

[SirBoobAlot]

Gosh how horrible. Is she currently receiving any mental health support? Agree with the suggestion of DMER. The mental health team (if involved) may be able to offer some coping techniques. There are some good suggestions on the site Lastyears linked to. Maybe worth linking this page to her for her to see.

[ChilledChick2]

Thanks Fluteyboots. I'm very unsettled ATM as I'm so worried about her. I also thought it was a bit weird considering she's on AD's. Then again, if it's hormones the AD's may not work on whatever is causing these feelings.
Will badger her to go to GP, but I don't know if she'll go. It's not how short-lived this is, but her actions that worry me.

[Fluteyboots]

Gosh, never heard of DMER before, thanks for the link. The mild descriptions of pang, sigh, etc was exactly how I felt for the first few months, but it did pass for me.

CC2, hope your friend seeks some help, this sounds like a possible explanation for her.

[ChilledChick2]

Thanks for the link Lastyear. Much appreciated. Totally forgot about D-MER, so I'll read up on it when I get back from work tomorrow.
This is not just a 2-5min thing which goes after letdown and 2mins of feeding, it starts when her LO latches on and goes on right through feeding (which can take up to an hour) until about 30mins after feeding. Again, about 30mins after feeding she is back to being her normal happy self. Forgot to mention that she has seen the GP about it when LO was about a month old, but was swapped to different AD's and put on other meds.

The funny thing is she never had any of that with her other 3 DC (eldest is 7)and they were all BF til 2.5-3yo. I'll be sad if she gives up BF, but will support whatever choice she makes. Will see her tomorrow so will get a better picture of what's going on.

[Lastyearsmodel]

Your poor friend and all credit to her for continuing to bf. I hope she can get a formal diagnosis and go on to get the help she needs. At least she has a good friend in you .

I've recently trained as a peer supporter, yet it seems the more I find out about bf, the more complicated and mysterious it becomes.

[ChilledChick2]

She has decided to make an appt to see her GP at last. I saw her today when we dropped the kids off at school. I went to her place after work and she broke down desperately. TBH, I don't think the AD's are working very well, so reckon she needs to speak to GP about them.

I couldn't make out what she was saying because she was sobbing her heart out, but afterwards she said she feels a bit better now, so I'm happy that a bit of progress has been made for now.