Want to stop feeding 15mo, how bad is it to go cold turkey?(14 Posts)
I think I've had a pretty good run of it, but the time has come. I'm sick of DS lunging at me any time my boobs come anywhere near him. I'm tired of the pinching and biting. I want to burn all my breastfeeding tops.
Today I got out of the car and my pelvis seized up, and I could barely walk. Had an emergency appointment with the osteopath I saw for SPD during my pregnancy, and she said the ligaments are still soft because of hormones due to still BFing.
I also just had my first bout with mastitis which was awful.
I feel terrible for denying DS something he clearly still wants, but I'm really really getting sick of this. He will have cow's milk on cereal, but doesn't like to drink it from a cup.
When I worked full time, he was able to go all day without bottles and just fed morning and evening, but now that I'm only part time (3 mornings a week) he will feed 4-5 times a day. I can't see him self weaning, and trying to distract/put him off of daytime feeds doesn't seem to be working. So what would happen if I just stopped altogether?
He is staying overnight at the PILs while I'm at the MN xmas meetup and will have bottles of formula for his evening and morning feed. What if I just fed him in the afternoon on Saturday and stopped after that? How painful would it be? How pissed off would DS be? How long would you give me before I relent and feed him?
Sorry so long, I feel quite conflicted about it as you can probably tell.
Sorry to hear you are feeling bad about this. I didn't feed DD until 15 months (stopped at 12 months) but the big thing I would worry about with cold turkey is mastitis (had it twice with DD months before I stopped). I stopped veeery gradually and managed not to get it again.
Good luck making your decision.
By the way, have you tried warming cow's milk in order to encourage him to have it? Much cheaper than formula.
Yep, tried warming it, he's just not terribly interested. Takes a mouthful and spits it out. Perhaps I need to try the cow's milk in a bottle rather than a cup. I really think he's too old for bottles, but anything to get him away from BFing so much!
I really wanted to do this gradually, but seem to be failing at every hurdle. He gets so frantic and just screams blue murder if he can't BF every time he wants to. Not to mention digging both hands into my top and trying to haul them out himself (successfully on some occasions!).
Maybe you should just switch to formula and then gradually mix it with more and more cow's milk. I've just stopped feeding DS, also 15 months and have been recommended elsewhere on MN to do this since he didn't like cow's milk - though admittedly I haven't got round to switching yet. Quite surprised by how much formula he gets through though!
I think you should probably not stop all at once though, for the sake of your breasts, Kellymom website says "Stopping breastfeeding abruptly, or "cold turkey," can be very distressing for both mother and baby and can cause plugged ducts, breast infection, or even a breast abscess. Hormone levels are also more likely to take a drastic plunge, causing mood swings, depression, etc."
You could reduce the risk of all that by expressing a lot, I suppose. I can't advise on how you drop one feed at a time though if your DS is demanding feeds - over a year, my DS tended to wait to be offered which made it easier. If he likes formula in a bottle, you could try offering that before he gets hungry???
Ok so no cold turkey, I only just got over the mastitis.
CM, I'm so envious of you having a baby that waits for it to be offered!
I've tried mixing formula and cows milk before, but didn't really persist. Will have to give it another go I think and get serious about it. I just can't go on like I am.
My ds2 is nearly 15 months and sounds just like your ds in the lunging department.
I really don't know what to do. He feeds about 5 times a day (none at night any more). I am aware that the feeding is intrinsically related to comfort for him. DS1 and DD both had comfort objects. I am ds2's. Or rather my boobs are. He'll sometimes just rest his head in my cleavage, or tweaks the top of my bra cup.
I'd like to feed once or twice a day. But I'm not sure how to get there without having a very cross and upset baby. So am watching this space with interest.
He also doesn't like cows milk much as a drink (tends to make him a bit sicky) and hasn't had formula. But great with yoghurt and milk on cereal.
Left DS with PILs from about 16:00 on Saturday to 11:00 on Sunday. Waking up without him was terrible as my boobs felt like they were going to explode, I had to hand express some in the shower at the hotel just so I could make it back. I fed him when I got there and managed to fend him off for the rest of the day, but this was 6 hours in the car so not too hard.
Today I fed when he woke up, and he went to nursery till 1. When he got home he screamed for an hour, complete with rolling around on the floor before finally taking a bottle of follow on milk.
Then, because I'm an idiot, I forgot I was trying not to BF him and automatically plonked him on my lap when he fussed at 4pm! Oh well. DH did the bedtime and got him to take a bit more follow on milk.
Will try again tomorrow getting it down to one BF when he wakes up. Once I've got that sorted, then will work further on stopping completely.
I saw the osteopath again about the SPD and she says it won't improve much until I give up (but wasn't pressuring me to stop).
I breast fed my twins until 15 months. I had intended to feed longer but got a huge crack on one side and decided it was doing none of us any good if I was feeding with tears running down my face. I was down to three feeds a day (just night time feed with DD but morning and night time with DS). You seem to be feeding more than that so I may not be much help in the cold turkey area but I just stopped with no negative impact my breasts. NB: I had mastitis at about 12 months and it didn't reoccur. How we dealt with it was that the night I stopped I went out for my first night out for 15 months and DH did bath and bed. They apparently cried for about 20 mins. The next two nights I was in but DH did final lights out and they cried for about 10-15 mins. After that they got the idea and never asked again. What I especially wanted to reassure you about was the lack of interest in cows milk. My DD took to it quite happily but DS was NOT interested at all. I didn't make a big deal about it but just continued to present them both with a cup at morning snack time and then smuggled as much calcium into his diet in other ways as possible (cheese, yoghurt, custard, mashed potatoes, sauces etc). It took a while but he is now 3 and prefers milk to juice. Good luck!
SPD and BF are not connected. If anything BF helped my SPD by keeping my hormones in check (my SPD flares at ovulation and first few days of period).
See I stop breastfeeding if I am still experiencing pubic pain postpartum here for info on SPD & BFing.
Of course if you want to wean then wean but don't wean just for the SPD as it almost certainly won't help.
Oh ffs I've lost the ability to do links! Click on the 'Should I stop breastfeeding if I am still experiencing pubic pain postpartum' section.
TruthSweet, that's definitely given me something to think about. SPD isn't the only reason I wanted to give up, but it was A reason...
Over the last few days we've gotten down to 1 feed in the morning. If it would stay like this I think I could happily go for longer, particularly if it's not going to make a difference to the SPD. I can manage on my current ADs, though I know the other one works better.
I suppose the other issue is my periods, getting them back and seeing if they have evened out or not. I had quite irregular and very long cycles due to PCOS, and I am worried about not being able to have another DC. I expect it to take a while and am steeling myself for another miscarriage in the interim, so kinda feel like I should start thinking about trying now IYSWIM.
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