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anyone else not enjoying bf?

(12 Posts)
ginger2000 Tue 23-Nov-10 11:37:46

Hi - title says it all really. Just wondering if I am alone in not 'feeling' the bf thing this time round. I have had no problems as such since dd2 was born 8 weeks ago but I am just finding that I am not enjoying the experience like I did with dd1. Its like I am doing it because I know its the right thing to do but I am beginning to resent doing it - its a job I have to do rather than a way to bond with DD2! Why am I feeling like this about something so brilliant?

I am not ready to give up but I am already wishing the time away until 6 months which is when I have decided to give up due to going back to work.

I just wondered if it was just me or if anyone else felt like this - or if anyone has some words to perk me up a bit!

HelenLG Tue 23-Nov-10 12:00:09

I often feel the same so it's not just you.

It's not even that I find it hard to do, I guess maybe it's because I'm not a really touchy feely person and I like my personal space.

Like you I breastfeed because its the right thing to do and there isn't a physical reason for me not to. Plus I figure we've got this far.

I'm waiting until six months and then see how I feel, keep thinking maybe if I don't have to do it so much, I'll enjo it more.

Ultimately, I look at it as a minor sacrifice for a small amount of time compared to all the benefits they will gain.

TruthSweet Tue 23-Nov-10 12:08:33

The thing is it is a job, it can be boring and tedious at times and it does no-one any favours for people (not you BTW) to pretend bfing mothers spend their time cooing over their babies in a blissed out state 100% of the time.

It's difficult juggling two children, when you have just one child you can 'indulge' in bfs that take ages, with two you are hoping the baby finishes the feed before the elder crayons on the fridge or posts toast in the DVD player. I found that added to the job like feelings that accompanied feeding DC2/3. Also, you (and me!)are used to spending all your time with the elder DC and sometimes I've felt resentment towards the youngest as they are sucking (ha!) away any time I spend with the elder DCs.

Do you get any help with your elder DD? Is she old enough to go to playschool? Sometimes having Dad/GPs/whoever take the elder child out for an hour or two can mean you aren't hurrying up a bfeed and can actually enjoy it rather than seeing it as a way for transferring food to the baby (which it is of course) in the minimum amount of time before chaos reigns.

I hope you find a way to deal with this. 8 weeks is so new and hormones do fly all over the place.

ginger2000 Tue 23-Nov-10 12:30:57

Glad there are at least 2 people out there who understand how I feel. Truth - my dd1 is nearly 6 so at school, so the juggling thing is less of an issue,she is really understanding that there are times I have to say I can't help/be with her because I have to feed the baby. I am missing reading her bedtime stories though as I am usually feeding dd2 at that time.
Helen- i think you have head the nail on the head about personal space - that is exactly what it is for me! You're right, its a minor sacrifice considering the benefits.
I'm sure it will be ok!

mollycuddles Tue 23-Nov-10 14:17:55

Did you really enjoy it so early on last time? When I was pg with dd2 I was really looking forward to bf again as I loved it with dd1 or so I recall. I was struggling early on and moaned to dh that it wasn't as nice this time. He reminded me I'd not been all blissed out early on with dd1 either but had enjoyed it much more later on. Sure enough dd2 is now 6 months and I'm loving the bf cuddles completely and utterly. Our memories play tricks on us - I'm already forgetting how tough pg, giving birth and newborn days were! Wait and see what happens over the next while.

Fernie3 Tue 23-Nov-10 17:05:17

This is the first baby i have breastfed, she is my fourth so it is all pretty new to me. I am not enjoying but i am not hating it either, but then again i didn't enjoy bottle-feeding my others or hate it either. It's just part of having a baby like nappies!

Actually i have enjoyed one thing and that's not having people take over. With my older children as soon as anyone came it was oh ill feed the baby ( normally while i was making tea or something) this time i have picked up the baby happily wandered off and relaxed!

mousesma Tue 23-Nov-10 17:17:25

I love the convenience of breastfeeding but not the actual process. I also like having a guaranteed way of calming my DD but I do worry that its made me lazy and I should be funding other ways to comfort her.

I'm really sick of the crappy non-underwired bras and having to spend half the day with my top up because DD is a snacker.

I moved to mixed feeding at 16 weeks and although I only give 2 bottles of FF a day I find giving my DD a bottle a much more satisfying bonding experience then BF. I will keep mix feeding until at least 6 months maybe even a year though because BF does have the obvious health benefits and faffing around with FF for night feeds and when out is just too much hastle.

ginger2000 Tue 23-Nov-10 18:14:28

mousema - its the bra/top up/boobs out thing that annoys me too! think i will maybe mix feed from about 5 months too once i can get her to take a bottle!

I know what you are saying fernie, about it being one of the things that just has to be done with babies and that is how i see it -its like changing a nappy! and you are right mollycuddles, i didn't 'enjoy' it with dd1 at this stage - it took me 6 weeks to feed without pain but i definitely felt different about bf to how i feel this time.

I know how important it is to keep bf and i will - its wierd though because (and i feel sad saying this) - i'm sure I would be happier ff but would be disappointed in myself if i gave up for selfish reasons!

violetbubbles Tue 23-Nov-10 18:16:15

I breastfed for twenty weeks and I didn't really enjoy it that much. I recall there were a few good weeks at some point (early on) but once we hit the nine week mark it all went a bit downhill from there. Feeding time had become a bit of a battle ground and quite often I'd be left with some serious scratches all over my chest from where DD was taking out her frustration over flow/quality/taste/thrush. I breastfed for as long as I could because I knew it was best thing to do for my baby but I was so relieved when I made the decision to switch to formula. And I don't miss it. I'm a happier mummy and DD is a happier baby.

blackcurrants Tue 23-Nov-10 18:53:43

I certainly wasn't enjoying it at 8 weeks! I felt like a milk-making machine (though it was easier than the first six weeks had been...) - now I quite like it (16 weeks) but if you'd asked me at 8 I'd have said "I'll get to 12 and see."

I do like it, now. Feeds are shorter, he's more cuddly, and more responsive/cute about everything. At first I just felt like food to him. Now it's luuurve from the moment he sees me

PaulineMole Tue 23-Nov-10 19:02:13

i am cuurently bf 4 week old dd2. it's a complete chore. i am no good at expressing, and she only goes 90mins or so between feeds, so i am knackered, with no sign of a break. i feel that dd1, who is 3, is missing out on a lot whilst i am pinned to the sofa feeding.

i am very self conscious about feeding in public, especially as dd tends to bob off and on the breast quite a bit, thereby making discreet feeding fairly impossible.

the only thing that keeps me going is that u switched to ff with dd1 at 3 weeks, and discovered what a faff it is! making, washing and sterilising bottles seemed to take up half my waking hours until dd1 was 4 or 5 months and on a more reliable pattern of feeding.

PaulineMole Tue 23-Nov-10 19:03:03

I switched to ff....

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