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Why is she screaming at me and other questions????

(10 Posts)
ginger2000 Thu 11-Nov-10 17:53:45

Hi, DD2 is 6 weeks old and is EBF. We are doing ok on the feeding front - she took to it much easier than DD1 and I have had no pain, cracked nipples or anything. I was feeling quiet smug until about 2 weeks ago - a few issues have developed and I would appreciate any thoughts:

1. DD2 is a snacker. She rarely goes more than half hour/ an hour before she wants feeding and then can only feed for 5 mins or so. HV's have suggested that I space feeds out to get her to feed for longer but I was wondering if this goes against feeding on demand'?

2. She has become increasingly fussy when feeding - sometimes latching on and feeding for 3 or 4 mins and then screaming and arching her back - refusing to feed again. This is what is really getting me down as I know she is hungry but she won't feed properly - this is why the HVs suggested spacing out the feeds

3. She seems in discomfort quite a lot of the time - she can cry and sometimes scream before she does a poo and this wakes her frequently from naps and consistently during the night. She clearly has wind of some description and can be grumbling/crying for up to half hour before she has a poo! Is this related to the frequent feeding??

I am beginning to really struggle - am knackered by it all trying to second guess the cues - she is hungry all the time because she isn't feeding properly, this can stop her having a good sleep and then when she drops off, she is woken by her tummy!

sorry for the length of this post - any thoughts on any of it most welcome!

tiktok Thu 11-Nov-10 18:19:40

It is within normal for babies to feed for short periods of time, with small gaps - this is dispaged by being called 'snacking' but it is perfectly ok for babies to do this. It is simply incorrect that there is a right way to feed, and that this is wrong, and the baby should be made to space feeds out in order to feed for longer....I mean, you could try this, but your baby could be distressed.

It could be that you have a generous supply and overhwelming let down - call one of the bf helplines and discuss this.

One option that can help with a baby like this (apart from, or as well as, sorting the over supply/let down if needed) is to accept she is like this and work out ways of accomodating it - sling, sitting on sofa, going with the flow. This teaches the baby she does not have to signal desperately to feed - it is calming and soothing for her, and you stop worrying about having to change it. It is often easier to change your expectations and your approach than to change what a baby can cope with....what do you think?

Hannah7 Thu 11-Nov-10 18:31:30

My DD is 20weeks old and ebf. She still feeds every 2ish hrs in the day which from looking at lots of forums seems to be a common thing for bf babies!

She has also been through various fussy stages, feeds vary average is about 7mins can be 4 can be longer if she dozes whilst having it.

See this for some advice on fussing - le-nursing.html

I wouldnt try to push the feeds too much but see if you can settle her without it if you can as sometimes DD acts hungry but is just tired or wants to get out the house for a change of scene (not easy when got 3.5yr old DS!) :-)

ginger2000 Thu 11-Nov-10 19:07:57

Thanks for that link Hannah7 - will have a good read. Glad to know I am not the only one with a fussy baby!

Tiktok - thanks so much for your advice and confirming what I thought about the spacing of feeds. Today's advice was from a HV at a Breastfeeding Cafe run by the local council and she even suggested bottles of cooled boiled water with gripe water in it which sounded a bit hmm

I know what you are saying about going with the flow and I am trying! She doesn't seem to like being in a sling unless I am walking but I will perservere!

any thoughts about the pains in her tummy or do I just assume she has an immature gut and it will all sort itself out in the end? I can deal with it during the day more than I can at 3am!

Hannah7 Fri 12-Nov-10 02:04:34

I would say its just one of those things, tummy still adjusting :-) DD just coming out of 2 week spell of suddenly being sick loads again after feeds and doing a weird upset tensing, clenching her fists and stretching up especially when in bouncy chair!! (hv's dont think anything wrong)

Does she tend to suffer from bad wind? DD always been quite windy (always thought bf babies wouldnt get much!), fussing around while feeding can give them extra wind so have you tried taking her off for a burp when she gets like that then putting back on?

Cosmosis Fri 12-Nov-10 08:52:30

agree with the burp suggestion, ds is often v fussy when he needs to do a big burp.

tiktok Fri 12-Nov-10 09:05:45

ginger, the advice from the HV about water and gripe water is odd, I agree, but prob not actually harmful unless there is an issue with your baby's weight or your supply. The bit about spacing feeds is not always 100 per cent 'wrong' though on the info in your post I can't see it is actually 'right'.

It sounds as if the HV has regarded the whole situation as a technical issue that needs to be fixed in some sort of mechanical way. There is often more to bf questions than that.

ginger2000 Fri 12-Nov-10 09:17:35

Thanks all - yep - she is a very windy baby!! and I can solve the problem sometimes by burping her (this is where the gripe water might help I suppose!)

I am now wondering if I am misreading her cues. She fed wonderfully in the night when she was half asleep and not awake enough to fuss but really struggled feeding first thing this morning - lots of angry screaming and feeding in fits and bursts. Tried to feed her from the 'less full' side to avoid milk coming out too fast but that didn't seem to make much difference.

oh well - will go with the flow!!!

C4ro Fri 12-Nov-10 09:41:37

She might have some colic/ wind (back arching/ crying) and be confusing herself to think she is still hungry when just uncomfortable elsewhere.

I found infacol helped DD bring the burps up. Bicycling legs/ rolling knees to stomach helped with her colic. Also, if it was really soon after a previous feed, I tried a dummy first- it seemed to help her soothe herself. If she was really hungry, she soon spat the dummy out and let me know.

2 hours gaps is really fine for BF babies and don't be surprised if it may stay that way too. I was put to panic at about 6 weeks when the HV said to try and get her to 4 hour gaps... hmm My DD is now 14 weeks and still nowhere near 4-5 feeds a day/ 4 hourly gaps. More like 7-10x depending on a good or bad night and still about every 2-2.5 hours in the day.

Hannah7 Fri 12-Nov-10 18:47:26

DD fed unsettled today very windy pulling off after few mins, like you said always fine in night when nice and relaxed! DD feeds same as c4ro's DD approx 7-11 times

Your right just go with the flow (not that we have a choice!) and tummy problems always improve as they get bigger and move more.

DD started sleeping through the night but past 3 days gone back to waking for at least 1 feed zzzzzzzz!

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