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Tombola codes(13 Posts)
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Hi, I am hoping that someone out there has had similar experiences to me. My now H and I have been together for three years, he has two children from previous relationship, which I would like to add was incredibly hostile and of a toxic nature, I also have two children and my past relationship ended due to the love expiring. My H ex’s partner is vile, as is her husband and her whole family. For the first 8 months of our relationship I noticed the hostility between H and ex, but sadly I did not realise the severity of the toxic dynamics. May I add that myself and my ex are amicable and co-parent pretty well, I grew up in a very hostile environment and made sure my children haven’t had to endure the same. I started to notice subtle things, my H never corrected my SS behaviours, always giving into their whims, they started to be spiteful to my youngest son, this is when the problems truly became worse. Two years prior I had a birthday cake made, my SS and I share the same birthday, he was 15-me 38, on the cake was Dolly Parton with nipple tassels, sexual innuendo isn’t taboo in my household, my SS took a photo and later that evening I started to receive abusive messages from his mother. I understand different norms, but I also understand common decency and ‘communication ‘. It has since progressed from there. For 6 weekends in a row the BM would call me, very drunk (big drinker) (I do not drink) asking random unimportant questions, shouting abuse, sadly I am not the type of woman who will be pushed around, yes I shouted at her, yes I swore at her, she was attacking me for NO reason, in hindsight whilst she is responsible for her actions, I hold my H accountable for 1.Not protecting me, by informing me of how hostile she could be 2. Standing by and allowing it to happen. I am and have studied psychology at degree level, I understand to a degree what the dynamics are in regards to my H and BM. In truth he is bullied by her, his kids and her husband and her family, which sadly was projected onto me, which to a degree affected me but the greatest impact is on my H. We married in May this year, my SS posted pictures on social media and tagged his mother & co in our wedding photos, to this day I still believe that was done with malice intent! As it makes no sense! The evening of our wedding day the real abuse stared, constant messages, phone calls, for me it truly overshadowed what was the third most important day of my life (first two my children being born) The abuse lasted three days, until there was a knock at our front door, it was the police, the BM & co had reported us for abuse claiming they were afraid, the police were baffled as there were no messages on their side but plenty on ours! It was all lies, they hand ruined a momentous occasion for us and I cannot let go of it. Every time I think about my blood boils, it’s causes tension between myself and H. I question what is her/their angle?? I do not understand? I had been nothing but friendly and kind to both her children and her, but yet she attacks me?! I would like to add that my H and BM had been separated 10 years before we me. As it stands now he has NO contact with kids, other than text messages asking for money! I have been verbally attacked by the BM, her husband, her mother and her brother, I have endured so much, that in truth I’m ready to walk away. I stay because I love my H, he’s not as emotionally strong as me, but in saying that I feel that by supporting him I’m compromising my own health/sanity. Last Christmas my husband had a complete mental breakdown, he attempted suicide on two occasions, both times I found him and intervened, the dynamics are complex and I could waffle on and on, listing all that’s occurred, but the crutch is this, I am not perfect by any means, I’m moody, fiery, incredibly direct, I do not pussy foot around and I deal with problems head on, his children’s BM and co, truly chose the wrong opponent! I now feel bitter towards his children, they are rude, devious, lack empathy, manipulative and the feelings I have towards their BM and co are best left unspoken, I’m fully aware that they are a product of their environment, but at what stage do they become accountable? Probably never! I love my husband, but I’m unsure whether I can stand this constant perpetual cycle, my H mother does not help the situation, for numerous reasons. In my mind I want to break free, walk away and don’t look back. I do not like my SS in truth I think they are vile and hiding that from my H is a hard task. Strangely writing this cathartic. Please do not judge to hardly as I am only human...The thought of a lifetime of this constant emotional struggle is enough to push me over the edge. Thank you for reading, any advice comments greatly appreciated
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