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A struggling Mummy's moan

(9 Posts)
hnc1 Tue 19-Feb-19 21:32:35

Hi, I am a new Mummy of the most gorgeous 8 month old boy, I have a full time job and fiance.
When I began my journey into motherhood I thought it is going to be the most wonderful time of my life.
Nobody mentioned how tough it really gets, not the Mummy part, all the other parts of life you thought were fantastic before!
See, before my beautiful son was born I decided to start a new job (Silly I know) but it was well thought about that I would be working 'normal' Monday to Friday, 9 to 5 hours. However, this meant I could only receive the maternity allowance not statutory benefits and wow, has it been tough.
Trying to juggle a family on £500 a month when you have a selfish fiance who'd rather spend money on rugby.. But, that not being my point it has made me totally lose faith in the British benefit schemes.
Why is it that we work so hard all of our lives to be helped out with a big fat nothing? I will say if people chose not to work then that is entirely someone's choice but it makes me wonder do Mummies on benefits think anything about Mummies who work?
I feel that contributing to a society like paying taxes gives the government more opportunity to use us as a doormat.
I sound really silly to be honest but that being said I don't really have much else in my life at the moment other than my son. Apologises for the rant ladies but I felt it was the only place I could put my opinion without being judged too harshly.

Hollowvictory Mon 29-Apr-19 11:23:19

Your problem is your fiance spend money on rugby.
The taxpayer should not be funding that.

curiositycreature Mon 29-Apr-19 11:30:34

I guess that’s a common debate.... “how much should the government be helping me financially?” I get the impression they are barely helping people who can’t even afford to feed themselves let alone much else right now. I don’t think you’re being let down by the benefits system, I think perhaps you made a decision for the long run (moving to a 9-5 job) and you’ve not quite allowed yourself to reap the benefits yet.

ElectricDreamz Mon 29-Apr-19 12:04:24

Yes i think people shouldn't be punished for changing jobs before they get pregnant by less maternity pay.
I'm not sure what point you are making about "do Mummies on benefits think anything about Mummies who work?"
Perhaps they don't have a husband contributing as you do so need more assistance?
I think the media encourage people to benefit bash mothers but if you look at the graph in this article, very little of tax money as a whole goes to supporting children, especially considering we are supposed to be investing in their education as future tax payers.

ElectricDreamz Mon 29-Apr-19 12:05:15


OnlyFoolsnMothers Mon 29-Apr-19 12:13:17

The issue is not these imaginary stay at home mums cleaning up on benefits its the:

cost of living
the cost of childcare
the lack of flexible working hours around school holidays etc.

You were also very foolish to move jobs !

MrsKrabbapple Mon 29-Apr-19 12:13:56

Have you ever lived in a country where there isn’t an NHS? Where if you get run over by a bus, you pay for the ambulance and every bit of treatment. It’s a bit of an eye opener.

Perhaps you should leave your fiancé so he has to pay maintenance!

hnc1 Mon 29-Apr-19 14:45:54

I never meant to offend, was just having a rough time and offloading.. Apologises if I did.

SAHM2019 Wed 14-Aug-19 16:26:24

Hope things are improving for you. I imagine you are either back at work now or about to return?
I am a SAHM (on benefits) and also feel like I barely have enough money to feed my children. I have also paid a lot into the tax system and worked since I was 16 but had my chikdren close together meaning the cost of childcare for 2+ babies and toddlers would have outweighed me staying in work.
You are very lucky that you have a fiance to share the load with and a 9-5 job with just one lot of childcare to worry about. Although your fiance spends his money on rugby, he obviously has some good qualities about him or you wouldn't be planning a wedding together.
So to conclude on this, count your blessings more than your complaints. There are many people much worse off than you are. There are many people much worse off than me.
I count myself lucky that my children have a roof over their head and food on the table right now and that this set of circumstances wont be forever.

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