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9-5 job, 1 hr commute, mother of 2 under 5..help!

(4 Posts)
MexBrit Sat 24-Feb-18 21:30:37

Hi! I will cut to the chase. I applied to a dream job, good pay, great environment and retirement plan,I can be really good at it, im not really proud of many things, I can come out as "silly" not "too smart" kind of lady, very childish, but when it comes to work, this is it, this is where i shine, i take pride on what i do and i can do it right. now i know it sounds stupid, im not in an extreme position like "I need to work to feed the family" my hubby has support me lovingly for 8-9 y, and my two kids are under 5, he has not a problem if I work, he is happy I have found my calling, and he says he is happy and will support me no matter what. Now, he is freelance (financial support varies with the year, not a good retirement scheme) and his work hrs are weird, can be 9am-3am, 12pm-1am, gone for a weekend, flight to Germany for a few days, etc. I can't rely on him to look after kids because of this weird work hours, my inlaws are kind, and look after kids twice a week, bless them!! but i had the feeling that my mother inlay doesn't want me to work "so early" into my kids years, I totally understand, but opportunities like this don't come often! im getting old (34) and this job is all I can dream about. COMMUTE! is 1 hr (10 min more or less depends on traffic) taking (been offered) this job will imply childcare somehow, apply for more nursery hrs (3yo) and maybe "neglecting" house a bit, kids and hubby. I love my family and I will do anything for them, I can be honest with you, if I reject the job I won't starve, I will continue living of my hard working hubby, i have a payed credit card, bless my hubby he is an angel!!! we are NOT rich, we can handle day by day, but this job will do so much to me, contributing to my house, bills, paying my own petrol, helping hubby when things get hard, and why not... getting better holidays!, this will definitely lift me up a bit, I adore been a housewife, looking after my family, its a blessing!! so I'm conflicted between my dream job or been a SAHM. two different dreams, one decision.

squizita Tue 27-Feb-18 20:21:12

Ok it's your dream job - but you keep making excuses like everyone is doing you a favour 'letting' you have it and as if it's a big treat for you. It's your career and you're a grown woman: either they support you or they aren't complete angels (and paying for stuff on their terms isn't always angelic, Sometimes it's accidental/well meaning control).
Will your husband contribute to child care financially? If you are both working it should not be removed from your wages alone, as you say he has chosen a career (men choose their dream jobs too!) with awkward hours so can't do it himself.
Why do you think 34 is old?
Why do you think under 5 is really young to return to work? It's not that unusual.

It all sounds a bit muddled to me- like there are some old fashioned assumptions floating around which aren't being said out loud. Like people aren't really supportive - or you think it's taking a liberty to work.

Many people work with a longish commute and their partner helps. But the partner needs to be on board and not think it's a hobby or some favour but a job/career.

squizita Tue 27-Feb-18 20:24:08

"Neglecting" the house ... 1 a house is not alive so it won't be neglected, the house is not your job/child it is a family home- everyone old enough can chip in 2. House work should be split according to work hours. You both work, you both share house work.

YerTiz Mon 23-Apr-18 21:25:02

Take it, try it - you might as well give it a go and see how it works out.

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