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Full time mum with stay at home dad

(9 Posts)
NMeillam Wed 10-Jan-18 07:49:07

I am a full time working mum and my 14 month old is looked after by my stay at home husband and I’m struggling.
I don’t feel like we are bonding very well, and he would miles rather be with my husband than me.
Is there anyone else in this position, or has been through it and is out the other end???

Lweji Wed 10-Jan-18 07:54:36

I was in full time work and exH was a sahd.
I never felt I didn't bond with ds, but maybe it depends on the individual parents.

I was quite hands on when at home.

Lweji Wed 10-Jan-18 07:55:37

Won't be able to get back for a while, but why do you think you're not bonding?

NMeillam Wed 10-Jan-18 09:05:45

He runs away from me, towards Dad when I walk through the door and clings to dad when I’m leaving on a morning.
I am very hands on once I’m home and at weekends.

NMeillam Wed 10-Jan-18 09:06:38

On an evening and at weekends I am hands on

Lweji Wed 10-Jan-18 09:15:11

I think in general it's normal that children get more attached to the people with who they spend more time.

In fact, I found it odd that ds was more attached to me than his dad.

I suppose it says that your OH is a better father than mine was. grin So, that's good news.

NMeillam Wed 10-Jan-18 10:24:59

Haha, silver linings
I’m sure it will even it’s self out once he gets older. And I’m really happy for him and my husband, it is very healthy.
I feel a sense of loss I think.

thethoughtfox Wed 10-Jan-18 10:51:44

He needs to do this for his own security. It makes sense that the parent who is always with him, is the one he sees as his primary go to person. That is a good sign that he is well attached. It just hurts that his primary attachment is not to you. I completely understand it and wouldn't like it either.

NMeillam Wed 10-Jan-18 11:08:07

Thank you. It was good to get it off my chest x

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