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Abusive boyfriend while pregnant(9 Posts)
So ive been with my boyfriend for 3 years now and since the beginning he’s been telling me how he wants to have a family with me. I am now 3 months pregnant and I’ve noticed he’s been changing for the worse every day. Especially this passed week. He started taking prescription drugs not prescribed to him (xanax) and he’s been completely out of control, telling me to get an abortion on many occasions, threatening to slam my head into the door, saying he won’t be in the babies life. I am so devastated, after 2 miscarriages i finally have a healthy baby but the dad is acting like a total nutcase... i don’t know what to do. I’ve been thinking of leaving him and getting an abortion, even though it’s really not my first choice. Im so lost . Someone please help!
He sounds incredibly abusive - keep the baby and leave him! It sounds like that's what you want to do but you're perhaps scared to admit it to yourself?
Do you live together? Have you got family to go to?
We live together but everything is mine and under my name.
Im scared because i work in a bar and as soon as i start showing i will have to quit my job. I was relying on him, that was our plan. but now he’s decided to quit his job today.
I would be booting him out. He has a drug addiction and isn't really df material is he? Tell him yes you will have an abortion, then don't have one. He doesn't get to control your life or that of your unborn baby.
In my opinion, he sounds as if he's quite mentally abusive, as well as the threats of physical abuse. He's got into your head that you are reliant on him, which you are not. I have personally been in experience of mental abuse in which the guy made me feel as if I wouldn't be able to survive without him, I can and I have. And you can too. I'm sure family or friends would hopefully help you through your rough time.
Unless you yourself want an abortion, do not get one, you would more than likely regret it. And never worry about the shorthand (it can be hard I know)you can get support with surviving a few months without work and you can always get maternity allowances from the government as well if needed. There is always a way. But the most important thing is to make sure you and your unborn child are happy and safe. If you don't feel like you are with him, then get rid as soon as. If he doesn't want anything to do with the child like he says, then he doesn't deserve either of you.
Was he always abusive?
If not, then get him to the GP to talk about this. Some men do react unexpectedly to their partner becoming pregnant and support is available so don;t write him off.
If he has always been like this then get him out NOW. But you also need to consider do you want this man in yours and your child's life for the next 18 plus years. Your child will have to put up with this man, too, as you have been and is that what you really want for your DC?
Don't make hasty decisions but make decisions that are right for you. No judgement here, it's just very sad.
Kick him out now, sign up for universal credit. You might be financially struggling for about a month but the sooner you do it the better. This isn't going to end well if you stay with him. Keep the baby, you can do it on your own. You don't need a man x
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