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Dmj86 Tue 25-Jul-17 10:29:26

Ive not been on here for a long time, i just need to vent and get things off my chest, so i am sorry but i can imagine this will be a long rant/moan. I am 30 with 2 children have recently got with a guy from work about 4 months ago he was married well still is they split about 5 months ago so we did jump into things and it obvs caused alot of arguments which i get as i would be the same of my hubby moved on that quick he is amazing i love him so much but i constantly pick arguments i think hes going to go back there i dnt feel like im good enough when we 1st got together he was going round there house seeing dogs and when she found out about me she messaged me on fb saying wot a horrible person he was n that they slept together when he was round there !! I will never forget this theres been a few things happened since then where hes had to go round to get something etc he went round his mums and she was there one sun morn i kicked off as usual and then a txt came through from her saying c u then so i flipped yet again there were no previous txts back and to as he has a new phone i just feel he is lieing to me !!! But i lv him sooo much, all my working tax etc stopped in middle of june bz i stupidly applied for 30 free hours online but selected the tax free option by mistake which cancelled all my payments when i rang working tax they said i could not apply for this and would need to apply for universal credit i have been left with no money since june i am due my payment thurs but it is not enough to live on i rang universal yesterday and they said that the rent element hasnt been applied bz waiting for a form to come back from my landlord which has come to light has never even been sent !!! I owe all money out and cannot afford to pay any of my bills, i have my daughters birthday next month as well, i have no food in my parents have told me to go food banks but i feel there are worse off people than me who need food bank more!!! I wake up every morn feeling like shite and just cry i feel so down and alone, my partners grandad died last night as well im tryinf to be there for him as much as i can and be supportive he did ask of i waa going round his mums later today i said no bz its a family thing and he said u r family which is nice of him but i wouldnt feel comfortable everyone grieving. I just feel like the kids may be better off living with other family members im sat here crying as i say this bz ut does break my heart i just feel everything thats going on im just not that great of a mum and i cant even supply them with goodies they want im worried i will lose my house too. I just want to go to bed and sleep until this is all over !!!!

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