Hello all. I am TTC and unmarried to my partner of 10 years. I have been reading various articles about issues with children having a different surname to parents such as when trying to take your child on holiday and even if the event of my death the child doesn't automatically go to my partner (babies dad)!? I'm not too bothered about getting married although I think practically it makes sense as we own our house together. Can anyone tell me what else to consider if my child has their father's name and I still have my maiden name?
Name doesn't make it easier with travel, inheritance and so on. You need to have a proper papers. As far as I know, now even with the same name if you travel abroad alone with a child (passport for both and prof that you're a parent) you still need permission from the other parent. As for marriage - well, I kept my maiden name - see what better from tax/child-money related things. Name is secondary. You don't even need to change yours.
When you travel, take a copy of the birth certificate (photocopy is fine) Of course the child would stay with his father if you died provided he is on the birth certificate. Parental responsibility has nothing to do with surnames.
It probably takes me an extra 5 seconds every few months to email school or similar and add that I am the mother of Mini Othersurname. So probably less hassle over the next decade or so than changing my name might have been.
I have a different surname to my children. We are married but I have kept my own name. It has never been an issue. I am the primary carer, sign all their paperwork, school admissions, doctors and health care (a few a and e trips), taken lots of flights on my own with the kids ( I carry a copy of my husbands passport and a letter to state that either of us can take the children from the country without the other present - I have been asked for it only once at Zurich and it was accepted no questions).
All that said my dd went through a stage (for about 3 years ) where she was very sad that she had her dad's name and not mine (she is much closer to my family). We dont really have names that can be double barrelled but I wish I had added my name in there anyway as an extra middle name or similar).
I have a different surname to my kids and travel with their birth certificates. Been asked a few times on arrival back in the UK. Now they're a bit older I don't tend to get asked- the fact that the kids are usually eye rolling and looking at me as though I'm the most embarrassing person in the world, is enough to convince passport control that I'm their mother!