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Bad marriage

(2 Posts)
user1487163900 Wed 15-Feb-17 15:46:08

I am in a controlling relationship my husband calls the shots for everything . We had two children together before I had enough of things and had an affair. We tried to work through things with the exception I give up on going out anywhere alone, lost all contact with friends and agreed to do as he said. I was scared and feeling guilty for what I had done so I agreed to all. We went in to have another baby but he pushed me to a breakdown and I left him but he wouldn't let me have the children. I agreed at the time it was best they stay in their home with their friends nearby. I came back to watch my kids while my husband went to work but he's running the whole guilt trip on me that I'm a bad mum for giving up on the marriage and how I left the kids. He uses the kids to get me stay and gets in my head to the point I had another breakdown because he's forcing me to stay with him when I don't love him. Am I a bad mum if I leave them in a solid home where they have everything they need? Although I left my husband for one night he couldn't cope but he won't let me take them. I feel I'm stuck in a dead end and I have to pretend I love him and I'm happy with him because he's made me feel so bad about myself I've ended up broken and depressed and on tablets. What do I do if I leave again he'll only get nasty with the kids and won't let me take them away from him?

VelmaD1 Sun 19-Mar-17 10:31:17

Dearest fellow mumma. You are not a bad mother for his twisted manipulation would not work to be destrying your happiness otherwise. Please look at him and see that his manipulation of you is based on his own fears. Please look at who you are and who you once were and think how you are going to get out of this miserable situation to find the joy that you deserve. I don't know how old your children are but I feel sure that must be aware of what is going on. They and you would be better off in a loving, supportive home where you are all free to be yourselves. It took me a long time to leave the marriage that made me miserable because I was made to believe it was my fault. I now live with my three happy children. It takes a little while but please know if I'd very very much worth it. You are worth it. Please hear my love to you through my words. Get support. Make a plan. Leave this bully. Take your children - that need you to show them what love is.
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