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I want more children but my husband doesn't

(5 Posts)
Mac1982 Fri 30-Dec-16 17:24:47

Hi all,
Kinda of need to use you as a sounding board. The thing is I want to have another child, I dream about it, I am jealous when my beautiful friends tell me they're expecting and I genuinely feel horrible about it. The issue is my husband doesn't. He has a child from his previous relationship and we share our beautiful daughter. I love him and he loves me and all in all we have a good life together but I am struggling with the need, with this desire to have another child. He is not willing to change his mind and I get all the practical reasons not to have another and some days I even convince myself that I don't want to have anymore children but the reality is very different and the ache is very real.
So I am faced with a choice, I can break up my wonderful family to try and find someone else who will fulfil my wish, I can accept my husbands decision and just get on with it or I can try and force him to be a parent. I am vehemently against anyone being forced into parenthood, I think that is inexcusable. Breaking up my family whom I love seems so bloody stupid. All good sense is telling me to enjoy what I've got and stop being an idiot but some days like today that ache just feels too much and I am terrified I will hate my husband for denying me this at some point. I know there is no answer but hoping I can get some solidarity or something. Sorry this is such a moaning post but need to speak to someone even if it is an anonymous chat.

Bluntness100 Fri 30-Dec-16 17:28:27

The thing is there is no guarantee you will find someone else, and you may not concieve, so you could split your family and simply end up alone or with someone else and unable to conceive.

This is difficult, and I don't know what to advise, but I would urge caution that you can simply split your family, find someone else who wants a kid, fall in love and have another baby like magic.

How old are you please?

Mac1982 Fri 30-Dec-16 17:44:56

Hi,
It wouldn't matter how old I am, I couldn't and wouldn't split up my family on a dream. Today has just been a really hard day. Is anyone else in a similar position? How do they cope?

TinselTwins Sat 31-Dec-16 15:08:42

OP I also would love another child but DH is very "done"

Thing is, I find that having a baby doesn't in any way cure my broodiness, it makes it worse, so if I did have another child now, I'ld probably just end up even more envious of bumps and babies than I am now. I think that's just how I'm wired. Some people are like that.

I am happy with what I've got I just live with the pangs of envy and then check myself IYKWIM

kittytom Sun 15-Jan-17 17:46:53

Belated but how old is your Dd? I was horribly broody for another until DS was about 2.5. Then it just started to go. I think it was at least partly hormones. Now I would like one in theory but it is not all consuming.

My DH also does not want another. It has been hard at times but I also don't want to persuade him into something he doesn't want.

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