Starting a family

[RachelMarlin]

So we are planning to start a family and have been talking about it for a while. We are married, in good jobs, have just bought a bigger house and have a great support network. But now it is time to actually start trying rather than excited all i feel is panic and worry. Am i really ready for this..does my husband really want it....does he know how hard it will be....do i understand how hard it will be....is my career going to be ruined. I know these all are probably normal worries but all of a sudden i feel really lonely and like i have no one to be completely honest with about all this because i will just come across as really pathetic

[mssmithsona]

Not pathetic at all!
All of these anxieties are justified. I understand. When we were thinking about starting a family, dh and I had to weigh up the worries against what we would gain. We heard a lot of negatives from people about how it would change our lives for the worse, but little about the amazing up sides. Like how we love our ds more than anything. It's a totally new and powerful feeling.

It's such a good idea to think carefully about whether this is right for you and whether you are both ready. Everything will change. Perhaps spend time speaking to people you know who have kids about what changed for them.

You aren't alone. Plenty of people feel the same.

Ps the career thing is annoying. Just remember that there are options to make this more equal between you and your dh now.

[RachelMarlin]

Thank you. That really helps and makes me feel less crazy. Where you scared about how ill you were during pregnancy and the actual birth? I just don't want to moan and be a pain to be around for 9 months. I want to actually (try) to enjoy being pregnant

[OhHolyJesus]

I won't pretend that labour didn't suck but my pregnancy was fine. Not everyone has morning sickness and by the end I was heavy and couldn't get comfy in bed. Would your company offer you work from home days at all? I found the commute a struggle towards the end but you can start mat leave early if you don't want to work up until the end.

I found my marriage became stronger and I have decided not to return to work so things change but for the best possible reason.